Patients screwing up; OR Don't do what these knuckleheads did

These are examples of real patients I've had: the Patient--

• Gets a special-duty OCONUS assignment with a unique medical requirement. Patient didn't get the correct paperwork from some other office in the MDG several months ago, but knowingly (re: lazily) sat on that knowledge and did nothing until <14 days from their RNLTD, then called my office freaking out.
  
• Asks for a medical clearance <48 hours from the Vol By closeout when the position ad has been posted for >60 days.
  
• "Needs" a Flight Clearance accomplished for a NASA application. Package submittal closeout is <14 days away.
  
• Says they are tip-top when requesting the clearance. Then five minutes into a record review, I find very serious conditions, leading to an MEB/Code 37 and Med Hold because the patient didn't return Nurse phone calls and passive-aggressively held-up medical processing (the spineless MDG then forgets about the patient until my review).