I can't help you with #2 and it's been a while since I left, but here's some info for you
Do NOT get base housing! First off, much of base housing is not actually on base - when we were there, there was housing that was as far as 10 miles from base. The houses in England are small, and the base houses are no excepion. The only real advantage to being on base is that the outlets are 110V. There was a fairly new set of houses in (I think) Thetford that were actually pretty nice, but once you're on the housing list, you have to take what they give you based on availability and your rank. If you turn down an on-base house, the clock starts ticking on how long you have to rent a house.
If you do want to live on base, Lakenheath and Mildenhall share many facilities, so there shouldn't be any difference for housing priority in being stationed at one place over the other.
Most importantly, living off base lets you experience more of England - being within walking distance from the god pubs is always a must!
A couple pieces of advice:
- Ship your car and pack out as early as possible. As soon as you think you can do without your car stateside and have your household goods packed, do it. It can take up to a couple months for that stuff to get over. You will be given three separate pickups - one for household goods, one for "hold baggage" (several hundred pounds that goes via air and arrives quicker) and the stuff you put in storage. As far as cars to bring over, don't listen to people who say that larger cars won't fit - not true. We brought over an SUV and there are plenty of folks who bring over F150s, Expeditions,etc. They're not a problem on the roads, but sometimes it is a tight squeeze in the parking lots. If you have a second car, that will be on your dime to ship it.
- Measure your furniture. With the houses being smaller, you may look at houses that have rooms where your stuff might not fit. When you're looking at houses, also consider the doors and hallways (which are also small) to see if you can fit the larger stuff through. I've heard stories of folks who had to cut king-size box springs in half in order to get them up spiral staircases to a second floor bedroom.
- Storage: If you can do without it for three years, leave it behind.
-- Put your large furniture in storage. We put our guest bedset, formal dining room set, and entertainment center into storage and it was a good thing we did. As I mentioned, the houses are very small, and it's tough to find places that will fit large furniture. We have minimal room in our bedroom with the bedset and dressers.
-- Put your extra clothes in storage. The British houses don't have closets, though you'll get a few shrunks from the furniture office (two for each military member and one per dependant). Each shrunk is only a few feet wide, so there's not a whole lot of room for extra. Definitely bring a couple warm jackets, though.
-- Put your small 110V appliances (stuff that costs less than about $30) and appliances with motors (vacuums, washer/dryer, microwave) in storage. Anything that is not dual voltage needs to run off one of the bulky transformer that furniture office will give you. Even if it is dual voltage or running off a transformer, the difference in volts/amps will eventually burn out the motors.
As far as the good and bad, we loved most everything about being over there, but particularly the travel. Take advantage of the cheap airlines (Ryan Air, Easy Jet) and see as much of Europe as you can. For living, Newmarket, Cambridge, and Bury St Edmunds were popular locations with nice towns and a good nightlife (Cambridge more so of the three). They're all roughly south of the bases, but the first two are closer to London and the airports.
That's what I can remember off the top of my nugget, but if you've got any more specific questions, I may be able to think back a decade and give you some answers.