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Laugh of the day! Doubly Humerus!

I was living on the edge last night and walked: across 2 roads, from my humble abode half way across the CC, to the BRA and back... without... *gasp... a single reflective belt (not even 1 for my backpack) on. Not 1 fvck was given... and no one was hurt... and no one stopped me.

I’ve heard the same dire prediction several times throughout my mediocre career and Armageddon has yet to materialize, perhaps this time will be different. The early to mid 90’s in particular saw a few really bad years of retention and prognostications about everyone leaving. Perhaps it was the internet that gave more voice to the chorus of complaints (it helped form this site), but other events like 9/11 stopped a wholesale exodus. As has been discussed in multiple threads, sometimes people bitch and moan but when push comes to shove they are afraid to make the leap and leave the comfort of a steady paycheck. Perhaps this time it is different, on the airline side there certainly does appear to be a perfect storm of hiring about to begin. The real train wreck in my uniformed opinion will be on the fighter side. SECDEF jammed requirements unrealistic RPA and ISR demands down our collective throats through cajoling, public embarrassment, insults and direct orders. Our senior leadership at the time finally got on the bus and went along with the plan and in the process our service mismanaged the fighter pilot so ineptly that it will take 10+ years to fully recover. I honestly think that if there is a wholesale run for the door on the fighter side, our leadership will step in with Stop-Loss. Full disclosure, I am one of clowns you reference above and I guess we have different points of view. Was the force in perpetual beat-down mode, absolutely, that was directed from above and we were at war. Did I tell those same folks to complete SOS and get a Masters, absolutely. The more important question is why did I do that?...because those were the rules as set by on high. Did I think it was right, No, did I try to fight it, YES, did my guys know I was fighting it, No. As a DO and a CC I saw my duties as the following, accomplish the mission, take care of my people, and take care of their families. I wanted my guys to advance because it was good for them and the service, promotions mean more money, and I wanted their families to get that money. By your logic I should say fuck all master’s degrees and SOS, lets party…then sit back and watch as every single one got passed over. For the record, I pushed back, to the Wing/CC when I fought tooth and nail for a guy that didn’t have all the squares filled (I won a few), to the MAJCOM/CC when he asked me personally what the major issues were, to a soon to be CSAF who asked my opinion, and to a Deputy SECDEF who express an interest. It was my job to voice the concerns of “my guys and girls”, but when things didn’t change I did everything in my power to help my folks succeed. On two occasions I also helped to superstars gracefully dismount. I had two WIC grads that were on the leadership track…easily could have been DO/CC’s, and neither one wanted it. I spent considerable time, effort, and favors helping them exit the leadership track without pissing everyone off. For the record I never asked or volentold one of my folks to raise a paw and lead the OG Christmas Party, CFC, or community event. Perhaps I am quibbling, but one of the most frustrating things about being one of those “clowns” was people had no idea how much time and effort you were expending to protect and help them…the only person that seemed to notice was my wife who would call to yell at me because it was the fourth night in a row I stayed at work past 2200 to work on OPRs and such, “do you plan on seeing your son this week?” Institutional change takes time and I honestly think Gen Welsh is trying to turn the ship, but there is a lot of momentum to overcome and a constant fear it will shift right back when he retires. I sincerely hope we can overcome those who want to wait him out and return to the corporate bullshit Air Force…our nation deserves better.

It's long, but I pulled this off of Best Defense, Tom Rick's blog page. I thought it was pretty good stuff: EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO KNOW IN LIFE I LEARNED AS A HELICOPTER PILOT IN VIETNAM. 1. Once you are in the fight, it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea. 2. It is a fact that helicopter tail rotors are instinctively drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it may be possible to ward off this natural event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It's just what they do. 3. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition than the other guy. 4. The engine RPM and the rotor RPM must BOTH be kept in the GREEN. Failure to heed this commandment can affect the morale of the crew. 5. Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you. 6. Decisions made by someone above you in the chain-of-command will seldom be in your best interest. 7. The terms Protective Armor and Helicopter are mutually exclusive. 8. Sometimes, being good and lucky is still is not enough. 9. "Chicken Plates" are not something you order in a restaurant 10. If everything is as clear as a bell, and everything is going exactly as planned, you're about to be surprised. 11. Loud, sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention. 12. The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Theory states that the louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker your eyes will be drawn to the gauges. The longer you stare at the gauges the less time it takes them to move from green to red. 13. No matter what you do, the bullet with your name on it will get you. So, too, can the ones addressed "To Whom It May Concern." 14. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need. 15. If you are wearing body armor, they will probably miss that part of you. 16. Happiness is a belt-fed weapon. 17. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative. 18. If you are allergic to lead, it is best to avoid a war zone. 19. It is a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas all at the same time. 20. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, is better than cold C-rations which, in turn, is better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls, even if they do have the little pieces of fish in them. 21. Everybody's a hero...On the ground...In the club...After the fourth drink. 22. A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics. 23. The further you fly into the mountains, the louder those strange engine noises become. 24. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better. 25. Being shot hurts and it can ruin your whole day. 26. "Pucker Factor" is the formal name of the equation that states the more hairy the situation is, the more of the seat cushion will be sucked up your ass. It can be expressed in its mathematical formula of S (suction) + H (height above ground ) + I (interest in staying alive) + T ( # of tracers coming your way) 27.The term 'SHIT!' can also be used to denote a situation where high Pucker Factoris being encountered. 28. Thousands of Vietnam Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded. 29. Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Any combination of these can be deadly. 30. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules. 31. C-4 can make a dull day fun. 32. There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose. 33. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose, you don't care. 34. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem. 35. Always make sure someone has a P-38. Uh, that's a can opener for those of you who aren't military. 36. Prayer may not help...but it can't hurt. 37. Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by Medevac, even if it is technically, a form of flying. 38. If everyone does not come home, none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either. 39. Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR. 40. A grunt is the true reason for the existence of the helicopter. Every helicopter flying in Vietnam had one real purpose: To help the grunt. It is unfortunate that many helicopters never had the opportunity to fulfill their one true mission in life, simply because someone forgot this fact. If you have not been there and done that you probably will not understand most of these.

Understaffed to complete the 90,000 bullshit taskers they disseminate. Appropriately staffed to carry out actual productive work.

Um... What?

Fuck that, it's still 35-10 in my book!

Proof that fear, sarcasm, and ridicule are effective instructional techniques.

They're not just bulletproof anymore.

General Franklin's explanation of his decision to overturn the verdict has been posted online. I hope my bosses have this much integrity. Edit: Dude's name.

Reflective belts anyone?

Haha - yeah, every day is Earth day in North Korea.

Teach a man to fish...

So you don't.....scratching the surface and all. Didn't know your we're OSI. I stand, well, correct. Go back to lead lab.

Dude, you're the man...just picked me up the .308! Too bad it will lost in the gulf right when I get it, but still, great gun at a great price!

I first heard it as a version of "Throw a Nickle on the Grass, Save a Fighter Pilot's Ass. First verse: I'd like to tell the story about the Thunder Thud, The bad you heard about it, is just a bunch of crud. It took a lot of us up north and brought us back again And the man who speaks against it will hear our mighty hymn. HYMN, HYMN, F--K HIM!

I'm assuming by "cheesy" you mean "fucking awesome".

To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

Yes but the singing and dancing you guys do in DC is a little more relevant to the overall mission of air power.

The cost of KY and oral dams can really add up, I suppose.

...and the large adam's apple.

Gen Welsh will be begging for these "Iron Majors" about a year from now when he sees how his pilot force is dangerously losing experience. I personally know at least a dozen guys from my community that have 3 or 7 day opted in just the last 3-4 months on assignments... all IPs or EPs... because they can! CSAF has to look no further than his current Wing Commanders and recent crop of selected O-7s if he wants to look for who is to blame for that. These are the same folks who were the 2 BPZ O-5 Sq CC/DOs in 2003-2007 timeframe that were beating down the crew force that was on perpetual TDY/Deployment status with "you need to get your SOS in Cor, you need your Masters, you need to volunteer to run the OG Christmas Party" crap. At least these clowns did one good thing by helping the economy because business is thriving at Higher Power and All ATP's these days.