Leaderboard

If we need a calculator to choose who has the ability to perform in the next higher rank, we might be doing it wrong.

I can not believe that in 2013 a system this stupid is in place to rate commissioned officers in the United States Air Force. Dear higher ranking members how can you not be clearing this shit up so we get honest, easy to digest feedback on how to improve as leaders, managers and (some of you) warriors? This black magic nonsense helps no one.

So...whose side is Limnadia on?

I totally disagree that the use of 69 is sexist. The entire concept of 69 is mutual love and satisfaction. I'd argue in fact it's the most "equal" and respectful toward women of all the sexual references I can think of. There have been a lot of examples given of actual, no shit sexual harassment and improper work environments (making inappropriate passes at the unfairly hot female Airmen, viewing porn on GOV property, etc.) or just plain being an asshole (i.e. "who did you have to blow to get that patch?"), I think we all get it that that stuff is wrong. But what the witch hunt is really against IMHO is the sexualized nature of typical interactions between groups of predominantly young males. Good luck winning that fight! Agreed on all except honestly the bad economy of the last 5 years has probably helped retention rather than hurt it. I know my morale is higher knowing I got a raise every year I've been in the service while my buddies in the civilian job market have been getting slammed. This kinda makes me wanna puke honestly. Isn't this the same bullshit the WWII "greatest generation" gave to the Vietnam vets who were their children? It's a blame-the-accuser mentality that proposes that maybe I'm complaining about getting f*cked in the ass because I don't value service enough, and on top of that Uncle Sam really does needs some asses to f*ck so BOHICA! Excuse my french. The AF absolutely, 100% has demonstrated that I am nothing more than a number on a spread sheet and because they can only think in numbers, I'm gonna start thinking in numbers too...i.e. taking care of #1. For me that's my family and our future, and as much as I'd honestly like the Air Force to be a part of that I chose to pursue other opportunities. Does that devalue my service in some way as you seem to suggest? Do I not "value service" enough after 7 years and numerous deployments? Keeping the faith is a two way street and I feel like it took me an above-average length of time to get bitter and jaded...the AF and our leadership did not exactly meet me half way IMHO. I made all that kinda personal, but I'm betting there are plenty of other dudes who feel the same way who would be willing to speak up as well.

I had to brief that dude last year! He was a pompous douche. Justice.

Gentlemen, you have been chosen for the unique abilities you have acquired thus far in your careers and will bring to this platform and to air dominance in the 21st century. Our tactics are still evolving as we find out every day what the envelope of this jet truly is. There is combat experience in this room, test pilots, Weapons School graduates and thousands of hours of experience in the Eagle, Mud Hen and Fighting Falcon, and we are going to rely on you to translate that experience and know this jet inside and out. We need you to work to expand our knowledge of what it is capable of in combat. Everything you have heard about Raptor is true. It is the baddest mother effer on this planet, and by moving it across the ocean we move US policy with it. Our mere presence will deter wars, because there is not an enemy pilot on this earth who remotely stands a chance against us in the air. Our own fighters don’t stand a chance against Raptor. You have seen recent reports of 100 to 0 kill to loss ratios in exercises. That is simply because we don’t have any more red air to put against it. If we could put up more jets, we would shoot them down too. Those of you who have fought it, hate it. We kill indiscriminately and at will, often times without anyone knowing we were even there. If you find yourself with an enemy fighter at your 6 o’clock and a mile – he only thinks he has the offensive advantage. You will water his eyes with the bat turn this jet can make, and then you will kill him between his tears. Stealth is real, and over the next several months we will teach you how to use it, how to lurk in the shadows and strike on our schedule. You will do things you never thought possible in a fighter aircraft and make other nations loathe our great American engineering prowess. This is not a gentleman’s course. We expect you to work long days and show up prepared. It is extremely expensive to operate this jet and we do not have the sorties or tax payer dollars to waste if you put in any less than 100%. Your work will be rewarded with sorties that you could have never imagined against numbers only dreamed about. Take what you know already, and file it away. Don’t bury it, but understand we do things differently in Raptor. Your tactics would still work in this jet but they do nothing to take advantage of our speed, supercruise and our stealth. Embrace what we are teaching here, give it an honest shot and you will come to love how we employ this aircraft. Make no mistake, Raptor is a high visibility program. Do not Eff off in my jets, period dot. These birds are still rolling off the line, you will pick them up off the factory floor brand new. There are a handful of pilots in the Airforce today that have flown a brand new jet, our average fighter age is in the 30’s. You are very fortunate to be here. Do not ever forget this. Raptor makes you look good, not the other way around. A little humility will go a long way. They are single seat but imagine me in your cockpit every sortie, and if you even think of shining your ass, think seriously first if you ever want to fly again. There is no room for mistakes, showboating or shenanigans. If there is any doubt as to what you are about to do is a good idea – don’t do it. You are already flying the most expensive jet on the planet, it doesn’t get any cooler by holding it in ground effect during takeoff or doing an impromptu airshow for your buddy on the lake. We taxi on the centerline at 300’ spacing. This is the closest you should get to another jet all day long unless you are down to the gun. And we will train you to use the gun. This is the only warning. Gentlemen, if we go to war tomorrow – make no mistake – you will be the ones knocking the door down. Raptor was not built for Iraq, it was built for the next shooting war with no kidding threats that can do damage to our legacy fighters. You will employ against, and inside these SAM rings, paving the way for the bomb trucks on Day 2. Of the people going through the course right now, someone will have an aerial victory in this jet. A good day may yield you 6. Pay attention and we’ll show you how. Welcome to Raptor.

When 82 year old Robin Olds lead us in the singing of "Balls of O'Leary" at the Sheppard O-Club in 2004 with a room full of 200 pilots (men and women) it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. It was right then and there that I understood why the "unprofessional, sexist, and innapropraite traditions" that you know nothing of were so important. You want to convince me that your perspective, the "senior leader" perspective, is better than Robin's. You have failed to do so.

Mountain Home... Strike Eagles setting the CAF standard WRT appropriateness.

Oh the ironic truth that anyone who's actually been around most (not all) female pilots knows. I know a handful of female pilots who will beat any male in the room to "STS", but then again all males are rapists and fighter pilots especially.

Dude, if I can't have some fun and attack a dude I disagree with on BON, things have gotten gay. I mean really, a guy shows up spouting USAF one liners straight from PME books and says the USAF will be a better place without fighter pilot culture. Give me a break. I grew up around retired pilots who boozed, sang and partook in debauchery. These guys were in their 60's, some had been POWs, fought in multiple wars, most had been flag officers. They inspired me to work hard so I too could some day fly planes and party like they did. Now the pansies with a ultra-PC corporate mentality are in charge....and they wonder why morale is low. It is because leadership like liquid is so out of touch with what the average pilot wants/needs to be happy in their job. They think just because filling squares and climbing the ladder is good for them, that shoudl motivate everyone else. I just want to fly, be respected, treated like a professional and allowed the same heritage that was afforded in the past.

Just having some fun, with that being said I'll cave to your sensitivities as is expected in the USAF and delete it. Sorry I offended you

That checks, I was amazed at the behavior of many of the chiefs on my last deployment (except our squadron chief, who would tell other chiefs to shove it if they were messing with our guys). Luckily we had some awesome leadership that shielded us from most of the bullshit. The OG straight up told us on his commander's welcome brief... "I don't give a shit if you're wearing your reflective belt and I don't give a shit about your mustache, I'm not going to be walking around measuring it, I just expect you to work your ass off and get the mission done because a lot of people outside the wire depend on you" Probably the wisest thing I've ever heard from an O-6 or above.

Wrong. Check 91-204: From the Witness Promise of Confidentiality and Non-Disclosure Agreement: "c. I understand that my confidential statement(s) (written and/or verbal) will not be made public and it will only be used by authorized officials solely for mishap prevention purposes. Additionally, my confidential statement will not be used as evidence to support any claims, litigation, disciplinary action or any adverse administrative action such as a Flying Evaluation Board, line-of-duty status determination, pecuniary liability determination, or elimination from military service. I understand, however, that my statement can be released pursuant to a valid court order on behalf of the defendant in a criminal trial. I further understand that if my statement contains an intentional misrepresentation, then my statement will no longer be considered confidential and can be used to support disciplinary and/or administrative actions against myself and/or others." Also, Day Man said he was given a referral OPR. 91-204 addresses this as well: "3.3.2.1. Adverse administrative actions include, but are not limited to, letters of reprimand, counseling, or admonishment, referral EPRs/OPRs, promotion propriety actions (not qualified for promotion, delay and/or denial), administrative separations, selective reenlistment denials, or evidence before any evaluation board and other similar actions. Commanders and supervisors will use other sources of information which are not privileged to take punitive or adverse administrative actions." Day Man, if I were you, I'd wait 5-10 years, then drag all this info back for a second try at the BCMR process, and ask for retroactive promotions, back pay, and interest. If I read 91-204 correctly, the way Privileged Safety Information was used against you was a "leak" of Privileged and an investigation of that leak should have occurred. It sounds like your due process rights were violated.

Materials for sale in the BX and programs on AFN are not the same as sexist language and traditions AT WORK. I don't care if you are offended by songs on the radio, movies on TV or magazines in a store. Get over it. I do care about sexual harassment in the workplace. Not because there is a direct link to sexual assault, there isn't. I care because you shouldn't act like a sexist ass at work. And for ######'s sake, nobody is saying every fighter pilot or every maintainer does it. What I am saying, CSAF is saying and Lt Gen Rand is saying, is that it happens too much at work and we need to knock it off. Why do you think senior leaders aren't putting their entire weight against the real problems? Do you really think cracking down on inappropriate traditions is the only think being done to address this? I never said any AFSOC squadron was better or worse than any FS, nor would I condone harassment for heritage. And I don't question your data point about this Airman's experience. The AF isn't really myopically focused on this issue. Many non-FS people say getting rid of sexist word games, sexist songs and sexist call signs makes perfect sense. I have trouble understanding the emotional response from some in this forum to what I consider reasonable guidance to not sexually harass at work. Robin Olds was a great fighter pilot and a true hero. No argument there. I don't know the song so I don't appreciate what you value in it. My grandfather was a B-17 pilot and squadron commander in the Bloody 100th. He was a hero too. Many of the pilots and commanders in my grandfather's era were racist. Many didn't think black pilots could fly or should serve. It may have worked during his time, but it was wrong and we eventually changed the mindsets and traditions. I would not argue that being a racist was what made my grandfather great, and you should not argue that being a sexist is what made Robin Olds great. Times change. We mature and get better. It is time to lose the "traditions" of being sexist while in uniform. We will still have great fighter pilots and leaders. Even Robin Olds obeyed the CSAF's direct order to get rid of the moustache. He didn't quit because he disagreed with the lawful order. I'm glad you acknowledge the observation that our joint counterparts think the word games make you look like idiots when used outside the community that values them. Don't be so naive to think it doesn't spill over to those not in the community, it does more than you think. You may be disciplined about when you say this shit, but many in your community are not. Here is my main point. When you use language that blatantly sexual in nature at work, you are creating a hostile work environment and probably sexually harassing someone. To be specific, when you do things at work like sing songs like S&M Man, or have posters or books full of half naked women or porn or use the word 69 to make a reference to a sex act or use sexually explicit language to describe what you like to do to women, you cross a line. It shouldn't matter if nobody was offended or not. When you use the "nobody was offended" litmus test, you pressure members of your group, flight, squadron, whatever, to go along to get along. It is not right to graphically talk about sex or make stupid sex jokes with word games at work. We are Federal employees and military officers. We should comply with Federal laws, policies and expectations to not sexually harass. We should be able to do this and still be steely-eyed killers. At the CSAF meeting with Wing CCs last year, a female GO fighter pilot stood up and told a story about a male fighter pilot asking her who she had to blow to earn the weapons school patch she recently earned. She ignored the idiot and went along to get along. She said she was a part of the AF that allowed this culture to grow and that she regretted not stopping it. She should not have been put in the situation of having to choose to stand up against sexual harassment or lose credibility with her peers. Our young Airmen and Lts should not have to be the only ones who point out sexually offensive material, hostile work environments or sexually inappropriate activities. Officers, commanders and real leaders should be the ones who stop it. And they should have the judgement and common sense to not go overboard or be overly sensitive to what is offensive. To be honest, I am surprised by how many people say we should allow sexist traditions to continue. Some argue that the traditions don't really exist, or that they aren't a big deal. Others argue they are an invaluable part of the fighter heritage. I think the latter is bullshit and I don't think it will be hard to stop these relatively few incidents of inappropriate sexist behavior at work. The overuse of the 69 jokes here isn't funny, but I am not offended by it at all here because it is not being done while in uniform and on duty. If you want to continue to make 69 jokes in uniform and/or while on duty, you will get what you deserve. Direct feedback and mentoring about how we expect more out of our officers.

Just looked at the AFPC website, and the data they posted is current as of today. Assuming there's no rush between the posting today & midnight when they formally close out this FY's ACP, here's what I make of the raw data available. BLUF, doesn't look great for Big Blue: - Take rate is down overall from last year (62% from 66%) -- It's way down from FYs 10 & 11, when it was 77% & 70%, respectively - Take rates decreased for four of the five largest pilot communities (Mobility, Fighter, Spec Ops, C2ISR) -- Large percentage losses from large communities means significant losses overall -- Fighter take rate only decreased slightly, but given low manning in the community & added incentives to keep them in through additional bonus options, not a good news story for the pointy-nose guys - SOF & C2ISR communities saw double-digit decreases in take rates -- SOF down to 55% from 73%, C2ISR down to 64% from 80%; since AFSOC in particular is grossly undermanned to begin with, again not a good sign -- Should I assume Cannon is the reason SOF's got a low take rate & MC-12 is the reason for C2ISR? - Weirdly, the two communities with the healthiest take rates (CSAR & Bomber--91% & 74%, respectively) are the redheaded stepchildren of ACC. Somehow, being unappreciated seems to make folks wanna stay in. I don't get it. - The one ray of sunshine I found is that the take rate for RPA types increased a bunch (up to 59% from 49%)--I guess the new bonus options really did matter to them . . . So, take rates are down despite additional ACP incentives, and at a time when the airline hiring's only just getting started. What's AFPC gonna do next year to improve retention in the midst of increased airline hiring & further hits to the Air Force budget? I look forward to reading AFPC's Retention Report when it eventually comes out--can't wait to see how they're gonna spin this. Cheers, TT

I agree, I don't understand why he would even bother with the FEB if he was going to give him the boot anyway. I just wish that more guys would realize that safety privilege is more like a literal "get out of jail free" card (kind of) and less like a "save your flying career" card. If your commander doesn't think it's safe for you to fly his planes, he doesn't have to.

Dangerous precedent - Firing Generals for having guys working on AAD and PT over their primary duty. Do we fire the entire AF?

Perfect! Out of curiosity, what configuration does the Erroneous ALS/Stall Warnings (Nose Damage) checklist recommend? (Hint: it's not 8 degrees of flaps) No way man...like I said before I'm lucky to be here. In fact, I'm glad the AF showed me what they really think relatively early in my career. When I needed guidance, my leadership was nowhere to be found. Both my WG/CC and SQ/CC told me they were hopeful for the final outcome and I was instructed to be "ready to fly" when the decision came down. 2 years later they both signed off on my referral OPR.

Pilsung.

I'm eager to see how that "rationale" plays out in the next CDI, or FEB, or Article 32 hearing, or even reply to an Art 15 or LOR. It'll go something like this: "You thought that rule was 'stupid', and IAW your massive misunderstanding of the CSAF's intent, and your ridiculously ignorant and dangerous judgment, you chose to not follow it. Under Article 31 of the UCMJ, you have the right to remain silent...." Does anyone seriously believe that if they see something dumb in the regs and disregard it, that they're NOT going to be severely punished be leadership for disregarding something in the regs? This is the Air Force leadership who has, downrange during actual combat operations, stated "compliance is more important than achievement." Whose judgment, exactly, is going to be considered the standard for determining if something in the regs is stupid and should be ignored? The current USAF culture effectively requires leadership at the Wing and below "mother-may-I" practically every minor deviation from the status quo because of this "compliance" mindset (you won't find that in the regs, natch, but you'll see it in the actions of Commanders as well as their stratifications following those "decisions"). So, can an Airman decide? Does he have to ask an NCO? Does that NCO have to ask their OIC? Does that OIC have to ask their Ops O or CC? Group CC? Wing CC? What level is the appropriate "judgment" level? My guess is that it is going to be at least one level higher than anyone who actually chooses to take this path. The first guy who does it is going to get paperwork, and then told that it was not in their authority to make such a decision. Anyone who actually values their career, their wings, whatever, is going to play the most conservative card possible and not dare to either think or color outside the lines, as that is what our experiences have shown us is the safest path. The only "courage" it is going to take for someone to break that conservative mold will be the willingness to lose your ability to honorably serve and risk being labeled as a problem child rule-breaker. For all the talk about "moral courage" I hear, what it translates to in the real world is falling on your sword and sacrificing your ability to continue serving honorably. Everyone I've known who has shown moral courage and tried to speak up about real problems with the status quo has been sidelined with paperwork, go-nowhere jobs, etc., because it has ruffled the feathers of officers who don't like to be told when they're not wearing any clothes, especially by people junior to them. I applaud what the CSAF is saying and wants us to do (because it is common sense to warfighters who are actually interested in, and focused on, professional warfighting), but it goes contrary to every other message on the topic of "compliance" that all levels of AF leadership other than the CSAF given over the last 6-9 years (to wit: reflective belts, uniform queep, mustache length -- you know, all the real important stuff for accomplishing the mission of combat airpower).

Who cares how they're viewed? Why is that important? What IS important is that there is nobody else on the planet who can do what they do as well as they do with the resources they have. If jokes and songs help them unwind after a day of practice or actual killing, then so be it. If you are offended by that, then don't hang out in their squadron bars. Why is a 69 or so to speak joke more offensive than the massive amount of violence these guys inflict on our enemies? Im not saying im offended by the violence, just trying to bring up a point that priorities are skewed here. Yeah, these guys are a very small segment of the force. It IS a fraternity/brotherhood. Nobody else does what they do. Everyone else is there for support. Let them be. And why bring up the joint argument? Why should they care? Is there anybody else they would like to have providing the service of killing from the air? I think not.

I got a "Top 5% of 15 CGOs" one time. Mathematically that's better than #1!

So what you're saying is there is no link between workplace jokes and actual sexual assault...right?

Stop the witch hunts. Prosecute the perpetrators of legitimate sexual assaults to the maximum extent possible within the UCMJ. Make an example out of the assholes that are doing it. Hold the guilty accountable, and any leadership that allowed it to happen. Don't treat the 99% of military members like they are in high school. You'll be surprised at the results.

That's why we never change the checklists, right?

Fuck your perspectives Liquid. Eat Fuck Kill. Warriors should work hard at their craft of killing. If the by-product of such work and blood lust offends those who aren't a part of it, I don't give a shit. I expect my brotherhood to dominate the battlespace through their efforts and awesomeness. The enemy of my clan should sleep poorly, knowing great Americans are working their assess off to sharpen their sword, and those of their teammates. Our existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! Careerism, and focusing on the wrong (non-tactical) things weakens our ability to kill and survive. We may beat our chests like animals, and play games we're in middle school, and that's ok in my mind. I like tits and ass. I like to talk about it. Bright, shiny objects get my attention. My plan is to destroy the target, bring the package home in one piece, and procreate like a rock star so my sons can grow, get strong, and prepare for their enemy. Peace is for pussies and hippies. Left to their own devices, a fighter squadron will fucking dominate. I want that, and so should you. We should have a few shiny pennies, who make some rank, and play on the the strategic, political field. I don't need that stifling shit in the squadron, or at the merge.

It sucks this happened to you guys and I would never wish what happened to you on my worst enemy, but three years later this is your take away from what happened? You probably don't realize it but hundreds of young co-pilots read this forum. You really still think the appropriate action after a four-engine flameout is to run zero checklists and pray the guy the in the other seat can maintain control of the plane? There was NOTHING you could have done to improve the outcome of the situation besides put the gear and flaps down? Good on you for starting this thread, but coming in with the attitude that you did nothing wrong is clearly erroneous. For the record, I do think it was a huge foul for the AMC/CC to overturn the findings/recommendation of your FEB.

Sad news from President Obama's home town.

Fini Flight. You either know it will be your fini flight or you don’t. I had mine planed out for months. “Viper 2, traffic eleven o’clock , 3 miles slightly high. Slow mover.” “2’s tally” That is the first thing he has said in the last 30 minutes. Right after taking the runway I checked him in on the departure frequency and he had not said another word since. Radio discipline is absolutely necessary in our job, something I did not realize fully until flying over the skies of Iraq. Working with JTAC’s, air controllers other flights, predators, helicopters and humvees all on the same frequency - there is no time for small talk. Every word needs to have a meaning. Brevity. There are no umms or aahhhs – nothing extraneous. Think about what you are going to say and find the 3-1 term to say it. A book a thousand pages long with a chapter specifically written on how to say things. Every flight in the last five years we have debriefed to it and so far this flight is going well. An HH-60 Blackhawk helicopter passes motionless a thousand feet above our flight, the workhorse taxi of Iraq. The doors are open and a few dudes are sitting on the edge with their boots hanging into the air. One gives a hang loose sign as we rocket past at 500 knots. Our flight is at 500 feet and 500 knots, hugging the trees, weaving and bobbing in and out of the valleys. Nap of the earth flying using the terrain to hide from the SAM threats that abound around us. The General Electric I am strapped to is not even sweating. It will still give me 300 more knots with a 2 inch flick of the throttle. I am covering a mile every 6 seconds but it is comfortable now. I have time to check out houses and notice fisherman in the lakes. What was a blur a few years ago has slowed down immensely and given me time to think well ahead of the jet. I have a map in my left hand and a photo of the target along with the attack we will be using strapped to my knee. A quick study of the terrain we will see will pay huge dividends in about 5 minutes. I have my pen handy to jot down any notes the ground controller will give me when we check in. All this with a 2 second time to impact the earth with any wrong moves. The laws about texting and driving always crack me up – we are on a different level. I was 3 seconds late on my last turn point and need to push it up a little to get there on time. I have a two minute window to deliver, but bombs on target on time to the second is the goal. This will be the lat time I drop bombs for a long time and I want to shack the SA-6 site on the first run attack. The next plane I fly won’t do low levels and I know I am going to miss the Viper. I have had an outstanding time with my squadron the last few years and have been mentored by some of the finest pilots in the Air force. My final flight won’t be without some tears, I’ll be leaving some great friends and my first love – the F-16. The plan is a 10 LAT, Rip 6, 1 pass and haul ass. 1 shot with no re-attacks. Nothing worse than stirring up the hornets nest with the sound of a NASCAR race and going through dry. A re-attack with an aware enemy is much more risky. The element of surprise is a tactic that worked for Ghengas Kaahn and a flight of fighters alike. The initial point looks exactly as briefed, a small bridge over the creek at a low point in the valley. We are going to egress back over the mountains and be gone and out of sight just as quick as we arrived. Ghosts of destruction. 5 miles out, we still cannot see the target at these low altitudes. Viper 2 checks 45 degrees to the right. I immediately check 30 and climb 15 degrees nose high. Things are starting to happen fast. Off the left is an opening in the road and as I climb, an SA-6 is just becoming visible through the trees. His radar just woke up to the fact that I was there, the operator woken up by an alarm and the computer asking for consent to fire. Off my right, Viper 2 squares up to the target on a simultaneous attack. He needs to pickle before my bombs impact so he can see where to drop. I roll inverted and point. 10 degrees low, target just below the nose. Track. Small adjustment left. Wait. I am only 1000 feet above the ground with the target rapidly approaching. These are dumb bombs. Old school. They go where you pickle and if you miss you miss. No fancy lasers or GPS to put them back on track. The sport of kings and a skill the CAF is rapidly losing with less flying and the adaptation of high tech guided weapons. I have less than 5 seconds to figure all this out. 520 knots, heading down hill. Watch the throttle. Aim. Put the thing on the thing. Let the green stuff do its magic, the hamsters working overtime to calculate it out. Warheads on foreheads. Whatever. The pipper tracks right over the center. Pickle. Hold. Track. The death dot passes squarely across the target and is moving rapidly. In milliseconds, 6 bombs ripple off the jet in quick succession. 2 lofts his bombs in from a mile out so he doesn’t get nailed by the frag of mine. We both pull 5 g’s in an aggressive left hand turn, back to formation, back down low and back out of sight. Gone. Blue Death. 12 BDU bombs leaving a pile of hair, teeth and eyeballs in our wake…. A perfect training mission and a perfect way to end my career in the plane I have come to love. The end of the Fini Flight is usually met with the same enthusiasm on the ramp. It is traditional for friends and family along with the entire squadron to meet the jet as it taxis in. Long over are the days of multiple burner low approaches inches over the squadron building but there still is some unique style to ending ones career in a particular fighter. I have seen guys taxi back with gorilla masks on, blow up dolls fully inflated and my personal favorite – helmet removed and replaced with one of those beer caps, 2 Bud Lights strapped to the sides of a yellow plastic ball cap with a straw going to both. The canopy opened on his jet and he tossed a dozen empties over the side. “Thank God he didn’t crash” is all the commander could say. “Could you imagine the accident report on that one with a case of beer in the wreckage.” It is not over with the landing, as the pilot takes his last step off the ladder it begins. Some try to run but most know to stay put. My squadron gets one of the cops to handcuff pilots to the tie down rings on the ramp just to make sure they don’t go anywhere. Kids get the small fire extinguishers, and mom gets the hose from the fire truck to soak the pilot down. This is a fantastic exercise when snow is on the ground – as it turns out, the rubber, watertight dry suit we wear during the winter months is also fantastic at holding water on the inside. Often times, someone will unzip the dry suit, shove the fire hose in, sts, fill it up with water and zip it back closed. Probably 50 gallons or so get trapped and freezing temperatures offer no reprieve. This much water weight will pin the pilot to the ground until the water drains out of his sleeves. A bottle of champagne is shared by the bros, we call the pilot a quitter and generally throw a big party in the bar that evening. Tradition, and something every fighter pilot should have. I had flown that same flight a hundred times but my planned fini flight in the Viper did not happen that way. None of it. Not even close. Back in November of 2009, my buddy Monty had his fini flight as well but he didn’t know it. A few days after his last flight, on an off day, he was out in his front yard doing a little lawn maintenance when a Pontiac GTO went out of control and jumped the curb up into his yard killing him instantly. He died trimming his trees on a day off. Unbelievable. Fighter pilots know exactly how they will part the surly bonds of earth. It happens one of two ways. You die telling stories of your past glory at a relatively young old age from liver complications from the whiskey you drank to help make those stories entertaining – OR – you plow in at tremendous speed, out of control and on fire, completely content in the fact that you just took 5 flankers with you. A national frickin hero. A decorated combat veteran and one of the finest fighter pilots this world has ever known did not go down in a blaze of glory with his hair on fire. He was not slain by AAA even though it had been aimed at him. He was not damaged by SAM’s even though they were trained on his jet. He has had countless emergencies and brushes with death over his decade and a half flying fighters and he came out unscathed. He was a phenomenal fighter pilot, well respected in the community, and unfortunately he did not go out on his own terms. Monty was the kind of pilot that everyone wanted to follow into battle. As one of my early F-16 instructors, he was unanimously voted as one of the best. He had an easy going personality combined with an unbelievable knowledge of tactics and golden hands that made him an extremely talented aviator. He was also a good friend and mentor and played a tremendous part in my follow on assignment. I had dinner with he and his wife just a week earlier. 3 years later and I still have trouble making sense of the way he parted this earth. Tragic. Monty grew up in Ohio and Ohio is where he wanted to be buried. We flew jets out to Selfridge Michigan the next weekend to honor him with a missing man fly over of his funeral. Unfortunately, just after we landed, the storm of the year started to pass through. Detroit and Chicago O’Hare shut down and the entire country was being crippled by a massive front. Snow had just started falling when we landed, the forecast was getting worse and it looked as if there would be absolutely no way to get airborne the next day. We chatted with the crew at base ops regarding the next day’s flight and they were determined to do whatever it took to make it happen. They knew of the accident and knew what it would mean to Monty to get us airborne. We passed 2 dozen accidents on the way to the hotel that night, the snow had turned to freezing rain. Hell really had frozen over, there was no chance the flyover would happen. We met Monty’s family that evening and they were just as good of people as he was. I had been on a fishing trip with Monty and his dad down in Florida a few months prior and his old man was devastated. They were true friends. His wife was also a good friend of the squadron. A fantastic woman, also an Air Force pilot, who lost her husband far to early in their marriage. There was nothing to say so we talked about all the good times. They had all thanked us for bringing the jets out and understood that we wouldn’t be able to fly. The next morning we pressed out to the airport anyways. The storm had been devastating, cars had been in the ditch all night from sliding on the black ice and power outages were widespread from iced over trees falling on power lines. It dumped another 1.5 feet of snow on top of the ice over the night. The weather was still a few hundred feet overcast with freezing fog and mist. 45mph is all we dared to go but we had to at least try and make it happen. When we pulled up to the airport we were amazed at the sight of several snowplows already hard at work. The base ops manager said they called in extra employees and came in early. If the weather cleared, the runway would be ready. I have never seen an F-16 iced up as badly as these jets were. They looked pathetic and crippled with hundreds of ice sickles jetting off every point that water ran off. The wings were covered in snow and under that was a layer of frozen ice. The manager said the de-ice truck was ready when we were. We made the call to fire the jets up. There was no chance the weather would clear, but we felt we owed it to Monty to try. The truck de-iced us and we hobbled our way out to the runway single file. The cleared area was barely wide enough for an F-16 to sneak through. At the end of the runway we waited. And waited. We were all watching our watches, waiting for the no later time knowing the funeral had already started. We had about a half hour to go until it would be too late. None of us said a word. At the 29 minute point, tower called and said we had the absolute minimum weather we needed to lift off. “1’s Ready.” “2’s Ready.” “3’s Ready.” “Tower, Viper flight ready” “Good luck boys, cleared for takeoff.” The tower controllers knew the importance of this flight as well. It was dark, gray and dreary. Absolutely miserable out. Off we went a minute later and immediately into the weather. A few minutes into the climb, lead broke the silence. “Well fellas, here we go.” We were in the weather forever. If the ceiling was the same over the cemetery, there was no way we would be able to do the flyover. We pressed on anyways. Passing through 25,000 feet we finally broke through the clouds. The misery and dreariness of the weather below was left behind and we broke out into a crystal clear blue sky above. It was a beautiful sight to see the sun, but a white blanket of thick clouds stretched out as far as we could see. The satellite image showed it stretched for a thousand miles. 100 miles to go and there was no hole in site. There was no chance this was going to happen but we owed it to Monty to press on anyways. A check of the weather with the center controller said the clouds in the area were overcast from 400-800 feet with 1-2 miles of visibility. “Viper flight, cleared to descend to 1500’. Good luck fellas.” The center controller knew how important this flight was as well. Down we went, back into the black abyss. The blue sky disappeared and the gentle white clouds quickly turned grey and then black. The weather sucked but we pressed down anyways. “Viper flight, cleared to 1000’” On the AUX radio, lead called our buddy with a handheld on the ground. “It doesn’t look good fellas, I’d estimate a few hundred feet at best.” 1000’ was the minimum vectoring altitude in the area and as low as we are legally allowed to go. If the clouds were at 800’ we would have to call it a day. Miraculously, and against all odds, we broke out of the weather at 1500’. We were in a radar trail formation with 2 miles between each jet. One by one we popped out of the weather and slowly joined up. We had 5 minutes of loiter time and we were holding about 20 miles away. There was still a wall of weather between us and where we were going. We were in a sucker hole, just wide enough for us to fumble around and wait. It was still a long shot even though we were so close. At the 4th minute, the weather parted and a rainbow appeared right above the cemetery. “You see that Rainbow?” “Yep. This is meant to happen” The rainbow, no kidding ended right on the mark point for the cemetery. Viper 2 was on the left wing, I was on the right. In between lead and myself was an empty space for another Viper. Where Monty’s jet belonged. The missing man. We flew slowly over his funeral during taps. His broken wings put back together and placed on his chest in the coffin. His body was on the ground but there is absolutely no doubt that we were actually flying on his wing that chilly morning. There is no way that flyover should have happened, but somehow it did. Monty was watching over us and he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. After we flew over, the clouds closed up and we were again swallowed by the weather. Our good buddy was laid to rest with a proper send off. He dedicated his life to the service of our country, it is the least we could do to pay him back. We had a few more beers that night and reminisced more about our friend. Old Monty stories turned up from other squadrons that we had never heard. Different time, different place, but same old Monty. What a great guy. The next afternoon the weather finally broke. I led the lonely flight home and landed at night. A handful of pilots met me at the jet, the rest were still in transit from Ohio. There was no ceremony, no fire hose, no pictures, or Champaign. A simple handshake to a few of my good friends to commemorate my fini flight in the F-16 was all I needed. That long flight home was my last in the mighty Viper. “Here’s To Monty” we all said in unison. I rubbed my hand down the nose of the jet for the last time and took my gear inside. I cut my teeth on the Viper, and Monty was a big part of that. Not by any means what I planned for a fini, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I miss that bird, but I miss my friend more. I’ll see him again the next time I fly. Here’s To Monty.