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Was his name Chang?

Pretty sure they get the Jihadi equivalent of USAA. You get a generous family discount on your camel policy, but hut owner's insurance doesn't cover suicide vest-related mishaps. Also, excellent customer service, so you never have to say Derka-Derka to a machine.

My Dad (Air Guard Technician Crew Chief for about 30 years) was at the Maxwell BX about 15 years ago when this LTC came up to him and said something to him about his hair. He said something like "you are about as close as I would let someone go without saying something about needing a haircut.' My Dad said (and he was serious) "Well I guess it's a good thing I got it cut yesterday"

God, I love being a Reservist.

Apologies in advance for slight thread derail, but I'll try to bring it back at the end... The new CITS can display 19 PMCs at one time, can access PMCs via selecting an aircraft subsystem, converts volts and hex code into English values, and provides expanded CMC info (a "real" English message) when something flags. You can save code lists to a card and load it in the jet to avoid hand-jamming all your codes. It's far from perfect but it's a huge step forward, which is how I would describe SB-16 as a whole. Huge leap forward with some potholes that we'll have to deal with. As for the radar display, that's a Northrop Grumman product (vice Boeing) so it's a separate upgrade (RMIP phase II/III). Still fighting for funding on that one and there are several COAs to include a possible but financially unlikely AESA. I'm actually going to get a look at the prototype RDU replacement next month at the Northrop facility in Baltimore - I'm looking forward to seeing what they've come up with. The reason these systems are upgraded in the manner that they are is because it is increasingly difficult - nearly impossible, really - to ask for modifications and enhancements that bring new capabilities to 3rd and 4th gen aircraft. The F-22, F-35, and LRSB are sucking up all the acquisition money, so all that's really left is money for sustainment. They key for the ops/test communities in the old-school jets is to leverage sustainment funds in smart ways that will enhance capability. Let's say you own a video game console - we'll say it's an Atari - and receive "sustainment" money every year to keep your capability of playing video games. Since Atari's and their components aren't being manufactured anymore, you would try to sell the gov't on the fact that to "sustain the capability," you need to purchase a new system (PS4). Obviously with a PS4 comes enhanced performance, but this request still falls under "sustainment." You make this argument by saying that life cycle costs will be reduced because now, instead of taking your broken Atari to some guy in his mom's basement who charges a million bucks to fix it, you can take your PS4 (which since it is new should have fewer problems anyway) to Best Buy if it craps out, or buy much cheaper replacement parts since they're still being manufactured on the open market. We have to do the same thing with the jets/radars/etc. since there's very little money for true "upgrades" unless you're 5th-gen. To bring this all the way around - if the USAF can't get costs for poorly negotiated acquisition programs under control, we'll abolish ourselves. It's mind-blowing how poorly we do acquisitions. Almost criminal from a taxpayer point of view.

And that's when everyone's nametag should have read something along the lines of Hugh G. Rection, Mike Hawk or Barry McKochener.

The wrong mammals look embarrassed in that photo.

A few months ago I was helping organize a car show at a recreational camp that was sponsored by the Air Force. The recreational area is owned by the Air Force but it is open to the public. You do not need an ID to get in. The day before the event the "anti-terrorism" representative told me the following. Anti-terrorism representative: Since you have so many vehicles coming on to the camp, you have to search every vehicles trunk coming to the car show. Me: This won't be possible because 6 volunteers are running the entire car show and a few thousand people are expected to show up. Anti-terrorism representative: In that case, just inspect the cars that are going to be participants in the car show so you only have to inspect around100 cars. Me: Do you think terrorists are going to enter a car in the car show? What are we even looking for in the trunks of muscle cars? Anti-terrorism representative: Illegal weapons, hidden bombs....that sort of thing. Me: How will my crack team of volunteer A1Cs and Junior ROTC cadets be able to know if the weapons are illegal? What does a hidden bomb look like? Anti-terrorism representative: If you don't search the trunks of the vehicles I can have security forces shut down the car show for not following regulations. Me: Can security forces search the vehicles? Anti-terrorism representative: They don't have time to waste at car shows. Me: Then how can they shut down the car show? We ended up searching the trunks. Not one participant had a single thing in their classic car. All the trunks were completely empty. I can't believe the Air Force is paying this guy to be an "Anti-terrorism" representative. He is a GS-13.

From what I've gathered over the years through various conversations, the vast majority of people outside the flightline (and even some on it) truly think we only fly, and when not flying are fucking around in the bar or otherwise not really do anything important. That leads them to the idea that pilots have a super easy life and have won the lottery. Just about everyone of them I've politely informed are speechlessly shocked when I tell them a quick 1-2 min description of the average pilot's "work life." They're so shocked that some of them had a questioning look as if I was spouting hyperbole to the Nth degree. I long ago concluded most of the non-ops people will truly never get it and there's little you can do to change that. That said, the support folks who do get it are worth a million bucks and knowing one or two of them at your base can make a massive difference in getting the job done.

Saw this gem while browsing the AF recruiting facebook. You heard the lady, I don't know what you guys are bitching about.

That's false (and a perfect example of scumbag recruiters saying whatever they can to get their hire). I simultaneously applied/interviewed for Guard/Reserve jobs. In fact, you don't even need a Reserve recruiter (Note: Officer Accessions recruiter) until AFTER you get hired by a Reserve unit. Bottom line, unless things have changed, treat applications/interviews between the Guard/Reserve as the same until you get picked up (work directly with the hiring units) and leave the recruiters out of it. Someone correct me if I'm wrong and things have changed.

What if AFPC actually completed a task early? Instead of waiting (again), they decide to go ahead and process the apps that have been there since February 6.... Well I can hope in one hand... Also, why the delay until 1 May? They've A) already processed non-ADSC applications and B) will have another VSP window open up in later may (I assume this is for the folks that missed the first VSP). If you had so many people apply that were ineligible, it is highly unlikely that there are people out there that said, "I'd love to apply, but I'm ineligible." If there is one rule that AFPC continues to reinforce is that you should ignore all information they publish, apply early, and hope it sticks. If someone hasn't already applied (or reapplied in the case of those early denials), I doubt that this extra time will see any new submissions. In the meantime, all of us whose lives and careers have been on pause since January can just sit on our thumbs even longer.... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

God, I hate you Beaver! Now, back to my AD TPS reports. Fuck, forgot another cover sheet.

Fortune favors the prepared.

Fail.

Constructive criticism is almost everything when it comes to getting that call that you didn't get selected. Ask for a moment of their time to see what you can do better on and take it for what it's worth. Each interview should be better than the last. Hopefully you get selected on your first interview but it took me until my fourth and interviewing really does become an art. One of the last interviews where I got a no-go call, I spent an hour on the phone talking with the board president with how I could improve on the interview and my quals. My next interview I was hired. Milchstrasse gives excellent advice and it's with that attitude that will get you ahead of the game. Also, concerning being professional and level headed on the forum, I know of at least three dudes that have participated as board members that lurk on this forum/thread. During one of the interviews I got the question "What's your user name on baseops? Anything on there that would put you in a bad light?". They watch this and it's not that hard to figure out who's who. I remember an old post made by a member not to long ago (from the Upcoming Board thread that got deleted) where he/she copy and pasted a no-go letter and openly mocked the LtCol that sent it. People remember that and was even mentioned in the squadron bar during one of my last interviews. A UPT slot is a golden opportunity to do something amazing with your life and it'd be pretty senseless to weed yourself out because of a post you made here. Anywho.... Here's to you A300! Cheers!

Just remember you'll never hear the phrase "my asvab score wasn't high enough to get sf."

It gets better...

One day they were checking insurance. As I was on a bike this involved a little work (I keep it under the seat). When I asked why I was told it was a RAM. I didn't know terrorists couldn't get insurance.

Yeah, that seems like a good use of time and government resources.