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Probably just call it the "Fogle Song" in order to not actually say his name. Then, in the 3rd verse, they realize that they've been saying his name all along. the 4th verse describes the destruction caused by repeating his name and summoning him forward.

dude, that's worth a kickstarter to commission them to do it.

Drink much?

When I become a farmer several years from now I'm going to set aside room for a handsome young boar even though I won't really need him. I'm going to pump most of my time and money into him even though he won't perform nearly as well as the older boars on the farm (they'll need to be sold or slaughtered). I'm going to feed this bastard as much as possible so that he'll barely be able to waddle his fat ass around the farm. He won't even be able to make bacon with the lady pigs. But damn it all, he'll be a pretty pig and I'm going to keep his beautiful, sorry ass around and lose most of my money doing so. And all of the other animals on the farm, and my family, will suffer because of my stubbornness and stupidity. This pig will named "Lighting II". I'd also like to create my own original breed of pig. I'm going to ask all of the experienced farmers in my area about what characteristics would be the best to strive for. In the end though, I'm still me and I'll ignore centuries of experience. When I'm finished I'll have created a pig that looks beautiful on the outside but will have major problems like not having an asshole. "Who would have thought a pig would eventually need to shit?" I'll incredulously say. The experienced farmers, that's who. I'll sink a ton of time and money into this pig as well. And more suffering will ensue. I'll call this pig "Pegasus". It sure is tough to make a living by being a farmer.

Obviously the President needs a new plane in order to continue to supervise the execution of our flawless foreign policies...

Brutal! "Combat Graduation"?

Funny this thing about flyers wearing the bag but I've never heard "I wish that TACP/PJ/CRO/SERE/Security Forces guy wouldn't wear his beret, it makes me feel like he doesn't represent me". Why is the bag the only distinct uniform non-flyers seem to get butt hurt about? If you need a fellow Air Force officer to wear a set of ABUs to make you feel like he represents you then I'm truly sorry your view of your fellow airman have come down to their clothes.

Hey, look on the bright side - At least somebody actually read that giant wall of gibberish you posted! I gave up after the first paragraph.