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You cut out the queep at home. All of it. No more burger burns. No more fundraising of any sort. No more booster club. No one in the squadron hears about an award or medal unless they’ve won it, as determined solely by the CC. No one is ever informed about a volunteer or “professional development” opportunity. Hire civilians; one per shop can basically handle all of the admin in Training, Mobility, Stan/Eval, and Scheduling. Certify the largest office space in the building as a vault, make Comm give you some SIPR laptops. If there’s only one entrance and no windows, go for open storage. Ask the Wing to force the Comm/Sq to do the work for you. Tell the NAF or MAJCOM when they don’t. The Sq/CC takes stands like that because he’d rather tell the boss “no” than look like a pussy in front of his guys on the line. The guys on the line create that culture. The current push-pull for your time is “Flying vs Queep vs Deploy vs Personal.” It could be “Proficiency Flying vs Improving Mission vs Deploy vs Personal,” and that’s solely up to your community.

"Hey baby, I could really go for a BJ right now." "Sure thing sweetie. But if I give you a BJ, you have to wash the dishes for the next 10 years." "No thanks." "You're always ranting about wanting a BJ but then you complain when I try to give you a BJ!"

Raphael: Rafale: Subtle distinction, but different.

“You may not just stay in Air Mobility Command,” he said. “You may go to another [major command].” AKA “welcome to AETC.”

...said no Southwest pilot ever. I keed I keed. Kinda.

There are QOL options at the airlines too. A lot of people talk about living in domicile, but you could always just drop a percentage of your schedule each month. If, say, 12 days a month netted you 180k, you could drop 1/3 of your schedule, work 8 days a month, and still make $120k.

If your hobbies are airplanes, boats, race cars, or women, you're going to need at least $20k per month.

Staff is prison and it would take a culture change at every level to fix.

I still don't see how a flying only track is a good idea. Imagine 'that guy' in the squadron that is always the pigeon and would rather work on his BS masters than study in the vault. He always has excuses as to why he didn't make RAP or why he was unavailable for mission planning yesterday. You really want him to be your commander in a few years? I totally get that guys just want to fly and I'm in that boat as well, but the guy who just wants to fly is also probably the guy that has the personality to take care of their bros and wants to be leading the formation when the shit hits the fan. That is the guy that should be set up to be the squadron commander. Rather than set up a fly-only track, which will remove guys like this from being commanders, we need to fix the glitch. Remove the BS AAD, SOS, ACSC, and things like that from consideration. Go back to the way the military has promoted since the Revolutionary War. Promote the guys who seem the be the most capable and chances are, they will be the most capable in their new job as well. Don't promote based on who has a shot at being the next chief of staff, promote based on who is the most likely to do the job best on the next level. Then, when that is finished, fix the staff gigs to turn them from a terrible deal into a good deal. Make them 18-24 month assignments in Hawaii where you work 9-3. People will say this is impossible, but I bet that so much of the staff has become a self-licking ice cream cone that if you removed some of the same BS where guys spend half their time filling out electronic staff summary sheets, you might find some time to let guys go hang out at the beach with their family when their kids get out of school every afternoon. Suddenly a year or two away from the jet might be a nice break instead of a prison term.

“Sir, I’m sorry your bombs/gas/cargo/recce took so long, but we are understaffed.” What a lame excuse. We’re still in the military and still subject to an unlimited liability clause.

Everyone rants about wanting a fly only track then complains when AMC gives them a fly only track.

Banned... again. I can ban him faster than he can start them. It’s a war of attrition. Takes 15 mins to open an account here and 3 seconds for me to ban him. I just wished he would be more original and offer some new humor for you folks on here.

Well I hope those SEAD assets don't have to go very far to get to their targets.

I submit that if you don't have any game against threat systems, it's even more important for you to know the effective range so you can stay the hell out of the WEZ when the lowdown is passed..

Shack. If you're on a team but don't know or care how the rest of the team functions and what their strengths and weaknesses are, how you can help them, and how you can not hinder them, then you shouldn't be a part of the team. A dialed in tanker dude with the SA to listen in on the right frequency can anticipate how a fight, engagement, or event is going, and then coordinate and place his asset where it's needed before he's asked to do so, thereby empowering the receivers to focus on more important things. Quite frankly, the rest of the force doesn't care how well you're able to keep your airplane alive. We care about your ability to anticipate the need for your effect, and insert yourself appropriately so that the rest of the team can function better. I know that because I'm a herk dude. No one cares how well I defend my airplane against an SA-blah. They care that I know how and when to effectively integrate what I bring to the fight without placing undue burden on the rest of the team. Know how to carry your own weight and deliver your effect to the highest standard expected by your user. It is never someone else's job to figure out how you should be doing yours.

ugh Let's just say the this administration makes being a US dude assigned in NATO right now...interesting. Everyone is glossing over the fact that the US has majorly stepped up not only its exercises in and with NATO countries, but also it's financial and military inputs directly into the Eastern European region. It's all open source, but people are just too eager to see how badly Trump said something or what protocol he spoiled yesterday to notice that the administration he's a part of is pumping some serious support into this part of the world. There is a serious point here. All the border countries have anteed up, while those on the other side of the 'buffer zone' created by those countries haven't. Are we on the same team or not? Any student of history can see exactly where this is going, with or without all the Putin-Trump crap.

Weird. I thought that normally tracked you to Eagles...

I had a buddy recently TDY at the ops desk showing us all photos of a tinder chick (she was smoking) and he played the drunken messages she left him about meeting up. That evening he asked me to give him a ride to meet her. We had a beer waiting til she showed, when she did, I probably laughed out loud and saw his face. All we had seen was her face shot, the rest of here looked like a washing machine. Anyhow, be careful when shopping.

It's basically what happens when you find yourself becoming the crusty one-strike divorced Major while babysitting FAIPS during "fat and backs". It's amazing the millennial stuff you can pick up on a double turn. These cats got the dragon slayin' apps on point. The only thing I ever carried with me on a computer when I was their age was a nerd ass -38 PMP TOLD Calculator. Of course that's back when text was charged by the message, yahoo messenger was a bona fide ass-scouting venue (being decommissioned this month btw..sad that I know that), and I had to tell the slam mat to call me after 1900 so I can tap the nights and weekends minutes. These cats today have the slam mat apps pre-selected on their phone so when they chock they're already swiping right. Lining up ass has become so much easier. I will say, closing still requires ol school game. Brave new world nonetheless. I regret having married my college girlfriend after UPT, especially after she got fat and lazy in the sack. I don't regret divorcing her though. So DFP Inst Fix: 1)Stay single for the first 10 years of AF tenure...fuck it make it 15. 2)Load smartphone with "Target or higher" quality ass-scouting apps prior to off-station sortie or TDY. 3) Smash. 4) Ghost app on the RTB. 5) Profit.

Contrary to popular belief, stupid questions do exist.

All nine made it home today...