I got a little bored. Data for those considering a join spouse relationship:
Of the 6.4yrs/2,352 days my wife and I have been married, 2.5yrs/909 days have been apart. That's an average of 4.7mo/141 days per year physically separated by TDY, PCS, or deployment. The average duration of separation is 37 days, including the occasional 1-2 day jet-swap TDYs.
We've had one PCS separation that left an 11mo gap, with the rest stationed together. Days apart does not consider leave taken to visit each other while separated via PCS.
We also have jobs that are highly compatible, both ops-focused and relatively easy to station together. If we were committed to different MWS's or didn't have today's friendly AF policy directing join spouse assignments, it would be far worse.
The 1-3wk TDYs aren't bad. It's enough time for the spouse still home to work on house projects, hog all the time with the kiddos, and then appreciate the return of the TDY spouse. Deployments longer than a couple months suck; 5-6mo are standard in our jobs.
Thankfully, we've had CC's on our side for the couple times we've asked for a break. One was simultaneous deployments, leaving our 1yr old with family. The other was staggered deployments, with only 5wks together over the course of 2yrs. CC involvement in both cases helped shift things around, and both worked out well for our family.
Things that helped make the separations easier:
1. Set expectations low. Even if it's an easy TDY, walk into each one as though you won't have time to talk until you're both home. Any contact is then a pleasant surprise.
2. Block off leave and family time for after the TDY/deployment well in advance. Keep it sacred.
3. If the AF is paying you to go to Nellis, find a reliable babysitter (i.e. grandparents) for the kiddos and fly the wife out there for one of the weekends. Second honeymoon.
4. Don't overcommit on unnecessary projects. You're both making a decent paycheck, so don't go full dad mode and install a deck by yourself at the expense of relaxing with the family. Pay for the labor on tasks that you don't inherently enjoy, and consider it an investment in mitigating the stress of future time apart.
5. Enjoy the crap out of the times you get the kiddos to yourself. It's a lot of work on top of your day job, but good grief it's fun.
6. Your Family Care Plan forces this, but it's a good idea regardless: Have 2-3 close friends in the local area that you trust to pick up your kids and care for them overnight. I had to ask for help a couple times that a night sortie was unavoidable. Work with DOS to ensure you have as much of a nuggets' up as possible on sorties that will impact your ability to pick up kids from daycare.