Ha. I knew that would come up. Here was the craziest one... Meet this girl on bumble, cute girl, she’s a nurse practitioner for a burn unit. We talk for a while and then I ask her to meet for lunch. All in all she seems pretty normal. We just didn’t really click over lunch in my opinion. I was pretty bored and I felt like I was having to carry the conversation. I tell her nice to meet her and get on with my life. A week goes by and she texts me asking how I was doing etc. Eventually it turns to relationships and she mentions how she can’t wait to get married and have kids, all guys are pigs, all they want is sex, etc, etc... How it was so refreshing that I didn’t try to sleep with her during our lunch date. I tell her that I think we may want different things, I can’t have anymore kids and I am never getting married but I am more than happy to be her friend but it would never be more than that. She says that’s totally fine, that is all she wants too. (Hmmm... okay, not what you just finished saying but that’s fine.) Maybe two weeks or so later I’m sitting on my couch on a Tuesday night watching Netflix. My kids are with their mom for the week, and Nurse girl texts me asking me what I am up to. We haven’t texted at all since the last conversation. I tell her I just ordered a pizza and am watching some opioid documentary on Netflix (my sister is a doctor and she told me it was good... it wasn’t). She asks if she can come over because she had been wanting to watch it. So I know that I am super naive about all this dating stuff. I met my ex in high school and was with her almost 20 years. So I say sure, I have nothing else going on. I give her my address. She shows up, we eat pizza, watch the documentary and it’s late and time for her to leave. (She says she has to be up at 4am for the hospital and it’s 10pm). The chick won’t leave my house and now she won’t shut up. She keeps going on about how cool it is that I am in the military and an airline pilot, how respectful I am, that I haven’t tried to kiss her (I’m just not into her at all, she’s really annoying). I ask her why would I try to kiss her, we had decided just to be friends and that there was no romantic chemistry. The most annoying thing she kept doing was after she would talk for a while she would go “hmmm” as if she was thinking about something and then look at me. I kept saying, well it’s late, you probably need to get some sleep, but it was like she didn’t even hear me. Finally after one of her “hmm” moments she starts leaning over to me. The tv is still on and the remote is by me on the couch so I think she’s reaching for the remote, nope! She leans over on me and starts kissing me. Because I was sitting facing her on the couch she pushes me backwards and basically crawls on top of me. I seriously didn’t know what to do. I freaked out and immediately thought to myself. “If I don’t let her down easy, this chick is going to say I assaulted her or something” (this happened to a guy in my guard unit). She slides her hand down to my jeans and starts to try to unlatch my belt. I tell her, “wow this is awesome, but I have to go pee”. She gets off of me and I run to the bathroom. She tells me when I get back she’s going to give me the best sex of my life (paraphrased and edited to keep this PG) Normally that would be awesome, but this chick is crazy and not in a good way. I take a couple mins to figure out how I am going to get her to leave without her destroying my life. I walk out of the bathroom and I go: “Sarah, I think your awesome and I would love to have sex with you tonight, but I feel like I haven’t healed from my divorce and I still love my ex-wife (barf). You kissing me made me think of her and how much history we had together. If you still want to date me, we definitely can try, but I think we are going to need to go really slow so I can get over my ex” I guess talking about your ex wife is the key because she is like “oh I wasn’t going to have sex with you” Then I deal with her crying and complaining about how all the bad guys want to bang her and how all the good, decent ones keep telling her they aren’t over their ex or that they aren’t ready for anything serious. Finally she leaves and although she texted me a couple other times asking me to come to her house or do stuff, I always had something else planned. I know some of you are probably thinking that sounds awesome and want her number... others think I am crazy for turning her down. I’m serious though, she was crazy-crazy. So that’s the story of how I almost got raped in my own house... Sent from my iPhone using Baseops Network mobile app