Have two kids in their 20's now, we lost another two to miscarriage, when we were dating, we had a surprise, she told me and told her not to worry. I had already made up my mind that she was the one before that happened. When I deployed later, she aborted it, don't feel right calling it an it. She told me that she didn't want it to be the reason I married her. What I felt the most was guilt, my actions of carnal lust caused her to be put her into a position to make such a choice. Later in life I watched this news story about a little boy who fell through ice, they got him out but was declared dead. But later he later he showed life and fully recovered. He was talking to his parents about when he was dead he met his grandfather who died before he was born, he also talked about his sister who died in miscarriage before he was conceived. She told him her name and her soul will grow with age as if she was born and matured. His parents never told him before the accident about her so he had no knowledge before. That would make a believer out of me but it gave me hope, maybe when it's my time the first one plus the other two miscarriages will be there and I can beg for forgiveness for being selfish in my actions.
I judge this whole argument on my feelings as one affected by it, just like suicide it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When women do this don't tell me it doesn't effect them mentally unless they are total sociopath . I believe most fathers are not even told. Everyone is different but I can't get around the guilt I feel, I wonder what have could have been good or bad.