So there I was about 2 hours ago at Creech AFB. Myself and two other buddies who carpooled left the squadron for the day and began the walk through the 110 degree heat to where I had parked earlier in the day. We all get in the car, I insert(sts) the keys into the ignition, and SHIT!!! Apparently I'm stupid and need an After Parking Checklist to remember to shut the headlights off after the sun comes up. My bad!
No lights, no radio, no beeping.....the battery is totally dead. So the three of us get out, and start looking for people in the parking lot with jumper cables since mine are in the garage(my bad again). We find four or five different people over about 20-25 minutes, but not a single person we could find in the parking lot had cables. One of my bros has an idea....."Why don't we call security forces, I bet they can give us a jump?". I'm thinking we don't need any gates guarded, guard shacks manned, pointless traffic tickets issued, to play cops and robbers, or to needlessly be hassled so A1C GI Joe can inflate his own ego. He calls anyway, and we all end up pleasantly surprised. They tell us they do have jumper cables and they'll be right over. So I actually felt a little bad for my stereotypical negative thoughts. I was legitimately grateful and appreciative that they were coming over to help us out.
Almost a half hour later, a patrol car rolls up. A1C Toolbag gets out and asks if we were the ones who need a jump. We proceed to thank him and tell him yep, thats us! He says just a second, let me call HQ real fast for just a second. So he gets on the phone and calls in talking for about 5 minutes. So next he walks over, and tells us "So yea, about that jump. We actually can't do that. You know, its kind of a liability issue and for safety reasons and regulations and we can't damage our car and blah blah blah." So we ask "Well, can we at least borrow the jumper cables so we can find a jump from someone else?" He says "Yea, thats fine. Let me call HQ real fast." So he calls HQ up again and talks for another 5 minutes. Walks back over and says "Yea, so about borrowing 'our' jumper cables....We can't let you do that. You know, safety first, and liability issues. We care about you, and don't want to damage any of the cars and blah blah blah."
So the three of us are fuming at this point. We've been outside(110 out) for almost an hour trying to find jumper cables.
"So your telling me you can't help out at all?" Reply "No, I'm sorry sir. Liability."
"You seriously can't even let us borrow the jumper cables for 5 minutes?" Reply "No, liability sir."
"WHAT THE HELL IS THE LIABILITY?" Reply "Personal injury and/or damage to the car, sir."
"WTF???? You realize the Air Force trusts me to fly multi million dollar aircraft around every day, and I also just so happen to be an Electrical Engineer. I don't understand the liability here, I just want some help." Reply "Sorry sir".
"Have you ever heard of the wingman concept? Or that the Air Force is supposed to be like one big happy family? Are you guys opposed to helping people?" Reply: Deer in the head lights look....
"Can we at least get a ride to the BX so we can buy a set of jumper cables?" Reply "Ummm....no. Sorry sir, thats against policy."
"Whose decision was that letting us borrow the cables would be a liability?" Reply "Capt @ssclown, our OIC sir."
Apparently Capt @$sclowns policy is that helping fellow uniformed airmen on base is a liability that should be avoided at all costs. We walked a half mile to the BX, and bought jumper cables for $20 bucks. Total fricken bs...I'm pretty sure the whole situation would have been very different had we been squadron commanders or colonels instead of LTs. Found someone else who was happy to help us out, and were on our way. I'm still kind of pissed off, and on the drive back here are the options we came up with:
1. Send an angry reply to the Capt(and the wing) summarizing the situation and donating the jumper cables so anyone who needs help in the future can use them without security forces having to accept the liability.
2. Basically the same as 1, but only send the email to the squadron summarizing the situation and donating the cables to the squadron so nobody gets screwed in the future(and hope someone in the squadron thinks its bs).
3. Walk into the Capts office while carrying the jumper cables, ask wtf his problem is and demand the regulation or document that states they couldn't provide help to us. And then donate the cables while making it clear he is a douche.
4. Target this guy with some really good pranks(take a dump in his office, slash his tires, sign him up for Playgirls at work, etc...)