Coasta

I'd just finished AC school and was on leave in a certain city that starts with a "C" ends with an "O" and has a "hicag" in the middle. Mom woke me up in their dungeon of a basement and said the WTC was on fire. I remember saying to her, "Small plane my ass!" and then the second plane hit. My blood was boiling. I was supposed to return to Japan the next day, but couldn't, so I called my best friend, and we spent the next 3 days watching CNN at Ditka's, getting angry, and destroying ourselfes with bourbon--for free of course. To further fuel my rage, my squadron's biggest concern at the time was flying off the FY01 flying hour deficeit we had because our jets were constantly broke. Nole '96 you have a good story about the fun we had with the F/A-18 CAP over PGUA. Let's hear it!

So sad! My separation date is 27 Dec thank God! This is just reason #1,273 to leave. At least I've never purchased the PT gear! Good luck to you all fighting the good fight . I'm just choosing to drink a different flavor of kool-aid.

Alright gents. I love the rants, but talk is cheap. Let's see some digital photos of you knuckleheads with the big badges, all the ribbons, flight boots and wheel caps. I have my doubts if any of you guys went to go get the uber cardigan. Let's see it tough guys. Coasta

Turn your key! Whatever happened to the WOPR? Weren't we replacing missileers with the WOPR? What happened to that program? Does anyone know the whereabouts of Professor Stephen Falcon?

This country needs to toughen up and let the NHL handle shit like this. He'll go to the box for 2 minutes and feel shame. Then he'll get set free. If he actually threw a punch, maybe 5 minutes. As far as Big Blue goes, that will depend on whether his CC is checking boxes all the way to the top or if he's an actual leader and protects his troops. I had a LM get into an altercation because his roomate was involved in a 1 v 4. After he smashed a pint glass over a dude's head, it became a 2 v 3--a fairly survivable situation. The beauty of the situation (I was actually at the bar but was busy scoping tail) is that when the CC had all of the info he needed, he asked me, "So who won?" I simply said, "Well boss, they went away in ambulances, we went away in cop cars." The douche nozzle who got his head cracked open, eventually dropped the charges and my LM was vindicated of any wrong doing. The LM was practically on the "wingman" posters that were all over the bases. BL: Take care of your family and friends and you'll be just fine. Best of luck to the guy! Getting punished for doing the right thing (yes, even if it's against the law) just blows.

I thought it was Black History Mumph...

It's just "notties"

Ugh! When will this shit die? I remember a certain female AC (noob at the time) at McChord that approached me with her idea of an all female crew. I didn't care that she wanted to turn the cockpit into a box office until I looked at the individuals she wanted on her crew--2 new copilots, a shiny new LM and a completely inept LM. I ran the Wing's prescribed ORM sheet then laughed in her face. She got all hot (STS) under the collar, and I told her to take it to the DO or CC. The CC plainly asked, "What did Coasta say?" and left it at that. Personally I would have liked her to take it to the top of the ORM chain so everyone could have had a laugh from the AMC A3 on down. On a side note, when is regular average white guy month? I'm not a regular average white guy, but your contributions to society seem to get overlooked.

Lindsey, You hear stories about stupid LTs doing things like that. That's why the rest of us call them stupid LTs--the rest of us O's were there too. I don't know an officer that doesn't have a "stupid Lt" war story. Anyway, some Academy guys tend to leave there with a chip on their shoulder instead of saying mission accomplished and moving on. It's probably because they may have a little more bravado then most or too much pride because they endured 4 years of shoe-clerking hell and are now in the "real" AF and think the environment is the same. Someone posted above that Academy grads have no real-life experience. Untrue. A lot of cadets are prior enilisted or transfers (God only knows why). Personally, I played 2 years of Jr hockey before I went and was 21 as a smack--yes I bought beer or the sophomores and juniors. A lot of us had our illegal apartments in the now banned downtown C-Springs area. I actually even got out all the time when I wasn't on honor, conduct or academic probation. HAHA! The problem with a lot of Academy guys is that they think that the Zoo is actually representative of the real AF. Unfortunately, just like SOS or ACSC, it is not. It's just a school--a miserable prisonlike school albeit. The fact of the matter is that besides learning to fly, jumping out of planes and playing hockey, the rest of my undergrad education like many other accreditied colleges and universities was purely box-checker--a means to an end. People try and poke fun at me for being a grad sometimes, but it's usually because I don't fit the stereotypical douche-nozzle mold. Please keep in mind that I know toolbags from all 3 comissioning sources, but the highest concentration of social retards is probably coming from the Zoo. To make sure your finance is normal and adjusted. Send him healthy and regular amounts of pornography to ward off the terrazzo trolls and encourage him to constantly crash frat parties in Boulder or Ft. Collins--worked for me! Coasta

I guess I'll add to the finance/DTS fire. I go TDY maybe about twice/qtr and it's all CONUS (rough life huh?). The agency I work for uses the Disaster Travel System. However, it's shortly after the fiscal year and funds haven't been disbursed yet (BTW they STILL haven't and it's fvcking February). So my boss directs me to go ahead and do it the old fashioned way and just make all of my reservations with my GTC. I do so (nice and easily), go and complete my mission and filll out my travel voucher w/in 5 days without too much ass pain. Now I don't have a local finance office or someone to choke when they screw things up. I have to send everything to DFAS Indianapolis, because they have our funds that haven't been disbursed. 35 short days later I see a deposit which looks very light. I recheck my claim and my reciepts and they are over $1200 short. I promptly call these mofos at Indy and have them pull up my voucher, orders and what they filed. I even underlined in a sharpie pen that "variations," "actual lodging," and "rental car" were all authorized by my commander. They decide to skip over this minor detail and not pay for any lodging expense, air travel or rental car as well as screw up each individual day of lodging expense when it is plain as day on my 1351-2. Without a choice, I go to battle with DFAS. The key is to GET A NAME. I decided to document everyone's name, the service they provided (or lack there of), the amount of time I was on hold etc. After calling them every other day for 2 months, I had a substantial pile of documentation (ammo). I even made a spreadsheet for this particular voucher. Well I finally get reimbursed for what looks fairly close to the right amount, but it turns out that they just paid me a second time for the same trip instead of reimbursing me what they actually owe me, but this time DFAS Columbus pays me, not Indy. I leave a scathing customer service critique complete with my name, number and forwarded a copy to my boss. The critique included everything in the spreadsheet that I created as well. I actually got a phone call from a supervisor apologising for the shitty service. I'm not out of the woods yet I guess because I have to pay back the money they paid me for the second time before they can properly reimburse me. My boss, a Col, decided to step in, and if those MFs call me, I'm supposed to transfer the call to him. Now that's top cover. Why is the "customer" always the one who pays for finance's fvckups? The best advice I can give is to know the Joint Travel Regulation cover to cover and then stuff it up finance's ass when they screw up. IMHO, Finance, DTS, DFAS, Carlson Wagonlit, Sato Travel can all eat my ass.

That's why I quit. Have fun working in your squadron's finance shop. Some of us want to fly and teach for a living. Good luck to all the future wing kings. Seriously, I'm happy to serve under all of you... Sans bullshit of course. Coasta

Herka... love ya, but get rid of your TiVo!

RIP and God Bless, but why include "blogging" in any article. The man's an Army Major. Is blogging just a web diary? I have no idea what blogging means and can't figure out how an "avatar" works. Kick me in the ass, but I like how old school works. Now get me a weapon or a white board before there's a power outage. Thanks for kicking ass Andy! TD

Stealth (the black chick gladiatior) is an Academy grad FWIW.

Wow! It sounds like a lot of things had changed for the WS portion at P-Cola's API since I went through. That was absolutely brutal for me in 98. I was a terrible swimmer and had low body fat (at the time) so basically I sunk like a stone. I can't believe that they were letting the AF dudes opt out of the training for that long. It was very good training and I'm glad to see that they're making it a requirement again. Coasta

Brabus and Brick are aboslutely correct. I had a near identical situation to yours in 1998 just before I was moved from P-Cola to Vance. My car was a 98 model year and there was about $6K worth of damage after some dickhead drunk smashed itno it while it was parked. I was initially seeking an overseas assignment and knew that I would be selling the car in less than one year. It was a lot of ass pain dealing with the agents, but USAA eventually made they other guy's company (Geico) shell out a check for over $5K for "diminuation of value" when I actually sold the car. If there is any sort of frame damage, your car should be totaled. In essence, get a name and an number and pester the hell of of the agent working your case. Remember it is USAA's interest to go with the least costly option (usually repair), but USAA is a good company and I haven't seen them pull too many screw jobs on folks either. They'll listen. Coasta

Interesting thread here guys... I think most everyone gets the point that a commissioning source is a moot point as far as AF career progression. There are quailty people at each one and outright shitbags at each one. I happen to be a USAFA grad and graduated probably at the bottom 2%. On graduation day, the playing field is leveled once again (for EVERY butter bar) and then you get to see what people are really made of. The fact of the matter is that the AFA is not unlike any ROTC Det or fraternity. I think everyone that graduates from that hell hole is a lot more risilient than those from other commisioning sources, and that is how we identify with each other as Zoomies. However, there are also those that graduated with a 4 year degree in whining or tool shed building. I got my degree in cynicism and was glad when the motivated ROTC and OTS grads volunteered for that coveted Exec position on my first day of casual status. Thanks again for helping me take the 10 strokes off my golf game . As for the ring wearing, I only wear mine when AFA Football is nationally telivised--about once every 3 years. If anyone has an inferiority complex because they weren't a Zoomie, then those individuals really need to grow up and concentrate on being the best pilot/officer they can be. Yes, I said pilot before officer because I've never seen an OPR or spit shine takeoff and land an aircraft. Fast, Neat, Average... Flame on! Coasta

If you have all females there, you could call it the "Box Office"

Hmmm...I'm a Bhudda Bubba and qualify for 5 AMs (and have none). The fact of the matter is that how many medals I have has no bearing on how I fly my acft today or the next. I agree it is "business as usual" and writing queepy medal paperwork for yourself is as absurd as writing your own OPR/EPR. A lot of people take a lot of time to writh their own award so they can look "sweet" at the AF ball. "Go bananas" I say. I'd personally rather be in the squadron bar boozing with Chuck and making fun of LTs. Coasta

Charley Palmer's Steak House in the District. You have a great view of the Capitol Bldg all lit up at night. Excellent food, but also pricey. Coasta

Admit nothing...deny everything...and always counter accuse. I absolutely love hearing people talk about what they have never done, never will or never understand. While there are plenty of weasels at the Zoo or that have graduated from the Zoo, just about everyone who has graduated from there or any service academy is a resiliant son of a bitch. Unfortunately for me, it is the 21st century and I can't run around punching people in the mouth. STFU and get back to work.

Evan Williams is excellent in egg nog. I like makers too, but discovered Bulleit Bourbon when they ran out of Makers down in Christchruch, NZ. I highly recommend it. Coasta

Bendy, PM me if you're still confused. I was an Airlift Director in the 374th a while back. I dunno if things changed since 2002 though. Coasta

I'll agree that the JNs are probably the most proficient aircrew/aircraft stalkers. Quite a few of them had the binders with photos and signatures of YOK aircrews when I was there back in the day. Creepy!