SocialD

A buddy sent me this recently. Not sure if this has been posted on here before, as it's a pretty old thread. https://forum.bodybui...20921191&page=1 Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this... Anyway... If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation. Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable. I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first?? So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time! So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well... As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor. I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head: I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor.... At that point things get even worse... The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom.... I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"... she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you??? At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!! I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet... At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???" I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it... she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door.. I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it. She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave. about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment. All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad). to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one.... This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened. anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?

Edit: On second thought...you kinda got the point with your first statement...

WTF!!!! People come home to find squatters in their home. Somehow it goes to court...update: squatters have 48 hours to leave. WTF is wrong with this country!?!? If this had been my house, they would have left with two .45s to their face! In Texas, the story would have been...5 dead after local home owner returns to find illegal squatters in his house. https://denver.cbsloc...iving-in-house/ https://denver.cbsloc...-judges-ruling/

I forgot to mention, here is a good book about a guy who fought for the RAF, even before the Eagle squadrons. It has everything we all love...flying, fucking and drinking. It's really eye opening to see the loses those dudes experienced. Spitfires, Thunderbolts and Warm Beer: An American Fighter Pilot over Europe. https://www.amazon.co...by+Philip+Caine

The 1911 is not as reliable, and requires more TLC, than many of the options out there. Also, they are paying a lot of money for these guns, when they could be getting a more capable weapon, for much less. Like M2 said, I own a few 1911s (planning on buying another one...or two) but I carry my XD45. I think any one of the following would have been a better option. FNP45 XD45 HK45 https://pistol-traini...m/archives/4027 SIG 226 Some will say Glock as well...I'm just not a fan. EDIT: Forgot to to talk about mag capacity. While nothing replaces well placed shots, when bullets start flying, this isn't always a reality. While I love the feel of a single stack, I would much rather have a higher capacity mag. The M9 is a decent gun...I just don't care much for it and would much rather have any one of the previously mentioned guns. The term "knock down power" is more of a myth. Here is an interesting paper on the subject. https://www.firearmst...df/fbi-hwfe.pdf I like the .45ACP as well, not that the .40 or 9mm are not capable. The SEALs have used the P226 in 9mm for quite a while (although I'm pretty sure they carry whatever they want).

As a lover of the 1911 (I have two and working on another), I'm not so sure this was such a good idea. I hope I'm wrong! Looking at the Kimber Tactical Custom II...anyone have any experience with this one? https://www.kimberamerica.com/1911/tactical-ii/tactical-custom-ii

Good stuff! If you haven't read Unbroken, I highly recommend it. A book about Louis Zamperini, who was an olympian, that went on to be a Navigator. It tells an awesome survival story after going down in the Pacific. https://www.amazon.com/Unbroken-World-Survival-Resilience-Redemption/dp/1400064163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343484985&sr=8-1&keywords=unbroken

This!

Wasn't aware that Eagles ever went to bad locations...

Nice. I wonder how many on this board, have no idea what that means...

Proving yet again, why they should never have to pay for :beer: https://www.kadena.af...sp?id=123310901

WTF! Chick is in trouble for tweeting the names of the guys who sexually assaulted her... https://news.yahoo.co...-174732753.html

This could all be solved at a much cheaper price! Take your pick... I prefer the .45ACP, but in this case I would probably opt for the .22LR, because he isn't worth the extra 35 cents!

Civilians are clueless as to what we do, day in and day out. Their reactions shouldn't really be any surprise.

I'll bite and play devils advocate. What if the CCW got shots off earlier, and the death toll was only 3? So is it better that he may have hit one person, but got the coward to give up earlier...thus only have a death toll of 3 and a few wounded rather than 12 dead and 50 wounded? What then?

Ya, you're right, if someone shits their pants, we should all have to wear diapers...

2!

Knowing our AMC bubbas, they realized that this airport was slightly closer to Mons Venus...didn't want to miss the drink specials!

Rut roo, raggy! Runway 4/22 Weight bearing capacity: Single wheel: 20.0

It's worth it! But, you can find it on amazon much cheaper.

A guy in my squadron is a fairly recent hire. He went straight to the MD-11 in ANC...hasn't done a hub turn yet.

Hand down my favorite was My Secret War...A-1 driver tells his story of Vietnam. Misty by Don Sheppard Flying Through Midnight by John T. Halliday War for the Hell of It by Ed Cobleigh When Thunder Rolled by Ed Rasimus Place Cobra by Ed Rasimus Bury us Upside Down by Don Sheppard Rupert Red Two by Jack Broughton (goes from post WWII P-47 pilot to Vietnam flying F-105s) Chickenhawk by Robert Mason A Lonely Kind of War by Marshall Harrison One Hundred Feet over Hell by Jim Hooper My Secret War by Richard S. Drury (Start here!) For Korea, I haven't read it but I have heard Officers in Flight Suits is a good book.

A simple "Thanks guys, you saved our asses today," as we're checking out, works for me. Or not even that...the dudes on the ground still breathing as I check out is reward enough. Unfortunately, that doesn't work for the jacked up OPR/Awards program we have...

Yes...let's make chicks part of the draft too. That way, when your daughter comes into the squadron as an ops tech, I can plow her too!

Hey guys, this is my sister Sally!