BQZip01

One guy thought of SOAP: Sh**s On A Plane Any other thoughts? C'mon. You can take a dump in ANY plane that goes supersonic... ...the results might be less than stellar in those without facilities though...

My bad. That comment was meant for 08 Dawg. I thought about typing a response to yours and changed my mind instead responding to 08Dawg's, but forgot to change the first line. Had to jazz them a little :-) (to reiterate: that was "jazz" to all you sophomoric pervs...) Just wonderin'. My dad was a 20th guy. Just to keep everyone in the loop, the 20th and 69th bomb squadrons call their new guys FNGs. The 23rd bomb squadron calls their new guys FUNGUSs (F*** U New Guy. U Suck!) and the 96th calls their newbies "flamers".

Ok, so it's not exactly a puke story, but it is in the same basic category except in reverse... So, there I was...(WHERE WERE YOU?!?!?) The Monday after the local base airshow. Right after it, I got a serious case of the runs. Went to the flight doc and grounded myself despite the fact I had a ride on Monday. Cancelling and forcing some other dude with a few hours notice onto an 8+ hr sortie isn't my idea of winning friends and influencing people, but when you can't keep anything down (to include water) or it goes through "like crap through a goose", you have to call a "knock-it-off" somewhere. Another guy in my training class calls that night to laugh at me, but he gets it a few days later. I guess he thought his pride was on the line, so he decided to fly anyway. Big mistake. He hops into the mighty BUFF with his stomach gurgling, but apparently thinks, Meh! I can hold it until we land. 15 minutes into the 7 hour sortie, his body says, "oh no you can't..." They level off and over interphone you hear, "Uh...guys, does that crapper work up there" Considering it's a glorified stainless steel bowl, they answer. "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?" "I've gotta drop a deuce man. I'll be right up" I guess he'd never even looked at the damn thing, but he had to make a separate trip back down the ladder to get a garbage bag because he thought "he could just go". I haven't been in that long, but EVERYONE knows you don't take a crap unless you have to. I've been on a 10.3 hour sortie and others have been on 24hr+ rides and I NEVER heard anyone (even on those sorties) drop a deuce. This guy couldn't make it 15 minutes into the sortie! So he comes up the ladder with bag in hand, does his business while everyone goes on the hose, then goes back downstairs. After about 15 minutes, the EW figures the smell has dissipated and takes off his mask. He starts retching and puts his mask back on. Being that this was a training sortie, he tells his instructor that it must have been a serious explosion of poo to smell that bad after 15 minutes. The instructor (the only one who can actually see the "can") looks back only to find the guy left his sh** in the can and left the bag open! The whole jet smells like crap and he didn't even bag it. The instructor is pissed and basically yells down to the nav in question, "WTF!?! Get back up here and pack up your sh**!!!" Apparently he thought he'd "just leave it there in case he had to go again." So he climbs back up the ladder, bags it up, and leaves it upstairs. The instructor looks back and sees a semi-transparent bag of floaties, nearly gets airsick, and yells, "TAKE YOUR SH** DOWNSTAIRS!!!" Apparently the student didn't want to sit next to his own crap, so he just left it...leaving other guys to sit next to it. He responds, "Can you hand it down?" So now he wants the instructor to pass him a bag of floating deuces? The instructor calms down a bit and responds in a near-whispering tone I can only describe as "Emperor Palpatine"-like: "No." The guy gets his bag, but 7 hours later he gets off the jet and asks people to "pass down the bag". No one moves a muscle to help him. FWIW, the guy hasn't been given a callsign yet and ideas are always appreciated.

NSplayr, What squadron you in these days? You a Buc or Flamer?

I think there's only one person that said that. ~~~~

Way late, but FWIW, the AIB's basic goal is to determine if monetary compensation or criminal blame should be pursued by the military.

M2: Toro, cleared hot. Toro: F**k that clearance! I'm already WINCHESTER, gone home, got thrown out of the O'Club and banged your wife. ...but I paraphrase... Effin' AWESOME! Apparently you missed my advice on p.2: "ALWAYS double bag". You still at Barkatraz or are you up here with me at Minot? (not everyone updates their location)

2. Props (no pun intended) to those guys for having the guts/wherewithall to do a controlled bailout.

of course that was in 2008...

Good read

The C-130J Harvest Hawk program. Duh. Read the title.

We do, but we attach stupid course names and get them signed by the commanders for presentations. Examples: Incompetent SnackO Training ***ked-up Landing Training CBT Training for CBT Training Redundancy Department of Rendundancy Certification (12 sheets each labeled __ of 12) etc.

...because the speed you type it makes a difference when we read it...[/sarcasm] let's not forget the "centence" structure used... ...ah well. It is just a CBT. Where do I print my certificate?

Sounds a bit like structural failure. Might want to get some -15C maintainers to help check the longerons... From the safety report: "The MP [mishap pidgeon] apparently was bird-brained and chickened out on the approach. He applied power for a go-around and goosed the throttles. The MP flew around a short pattern, but entered too early. The MG [mishap gander] continued his approach from three miles out 'as the crow flies'. The MG realized that birds of a feather were about to flock together but was unable to feather her engines in time. Free as a bird, this was not supposed to be the fini flight (or 'swan song') for the MG. The impact resulted in structural failure of the longerons. The MP is AWOL and the MG has been grounded by the flight surgeon."

No offense taken, but just because we aren't being employed doesn't mean we lack the capability or that we don't practice 9-lines galore (for a BUFF with 16+ JDAMs onboard, multiple passes with multiple 9-lines are always a probability). The show-of-force stuff isn't my cup of tea and serves only to intimidate those who are able to be intimidated; if you don't care about your life, your aren't intimidated. I personally think leveling a target measured by a size in city-blocks is FAR more intimidating... I just coined the phrase; I don't expect it to necessarily catch-on, but I think it is an accurate description. I said they were the best at that time (which included the use of GPS) and that is not my opinion, but that of Dalton Fury: http://www.amazon.com/Kill-Bin-Laden-Commanders-Account/dp/0312384394. I believe a full belly load (sts) of 27xM117s would also do quite well in saturating some of the more remote sections. If they'd been called upon to mine the passes out of the area, they could have stopped OBL from escaping. I am NOT blaming ACC for the nuke accident per se. I AM blaming them for not putting enough emphasis on nukes and allowing it to be pushed to a secondary priority. Those who did not perform their actions appropriately and allowed nukes to be ferried without even knowing it were the last in a long series of failures that ACC oversight would have corrected. It was a major contributing factor (IMNSHO), not the root cause. I agree that the AF got a black eye from it and good people got fired whether it was necessary or not. Many people in leadership that deserved to be fired weren't. One more for the quote board. Thanks, Rainman!

I stand corrected

B-52s were also used in Tora Bora and were some of the best assets available in that target-rich environment (many other jets ran out of munitions or hit bingo fuel). They also were used at Khe Sahn. This is not to say that other aircraft were not available or didn't do the jobs they were assigned. It is a niche role (heavy CAS?) that doesn't rear its ugly head too often, but when it does, the BUFFs are there. You stand corrected. We still practice 9-lines and CAS (did some of that in a mass exercise not too long ago). The nuke focus is merely ONE of our foci. We just have better support for that mission and the AF has seen fit to <s>resurrect SAC</s> give us a new command to provide appropriate oversight of the nuclear mission (does ANYONE think that nukes/B-52s/B-2s were ACC's top priority? It was stupid to put them under ACC in the first place).

Um...it's a glider. By definition, you are flying dead stick all the time...

MC-130s or AC-130s?...world of difference

On BaseOps? Not likely... :-)

what t-6 incident?

I agree the whole situation seems odd that some crews lose everything over a single mishap (some where the aircraft was recoverable in its post-incident state) and this guy is still picked up BTZ and gets a command. The guy probably is an outstanding pilot and leader, but I wonder about those C-17 crews and the B-1 crews that landed gear up and other incidents where they are crucified all because they don't have top cover. Someone obviously is going to bat for this guy. Perhaps he's earned it or we're in for the next Foglesong. I'd appreciate feedback by any of his subordinates.

At that range? Fox-4 would be FAR more entertaining...

<sigh> Crap. Now I have to go in early tomorrow and redo my powerpoint presentation...

That's what I thought at first, but you mentioned a LOT of details that didn't line up with Sully's experiences. Perhaps too much online sarcasm? On a more interesting note, Sullenburger has a drink named after him, the "Sully": two shots of grey goose with a splash of water.