I've never lived on-base and I've never found a home (I was willing to live in) that met all of the criteria you list, this is especially true of DC. We lived in a small 3 bedroom, 2 bath and payed about $100 less than BAH. Loved it. We had one kid at the time and my wife stayed at home. If you can find a place that minimizes driving, you'll be much happier. The closer to the Pentagon, the better IMO (as long as you're in a decent neighborhood).