The oatmeal doesn't impart too much flavor...it adds body and makes beer "smoother." Try to find a good oatmeal pale ale...they're delicious.
The coconut flavor isn't predominant like a lambic. The stout/porter flavor profile is tough to overpower, but it adds a nice hint of toasted coconut.
WTF? I'm guessing the shells were to harden the water (some homebrew recipes use gypsum for this). And she doesn't need an aphrodisiac, I'm stronger than her.