Beaver Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Here's your chance to post your favorite airshow conversations. Mine is: Japanese guy: Can I take a picture of you and my girlfriend together? Beaver: Why yes, you can.
Guest haddin Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 "I'll have the jumbo chili-dog, double cheese, and 2 Coors Light" "$16 even" ____________________ Overheard at Andrews, how NOT to find your party quickly- "Ok let's meet by the C-5" :rolleyes: _____________________ Landing @ Oshkosh, 2003, the excitement of GA ATC to Mentor: Yellow mentor cleared to land 36R Mentor: <old voice, yelling> was that Left or Right for mentor 25 yankee!? Meanwhile, yellow mentor overtakes & fills my windscreen ATC to me: Gray Saratoga, change to 36L immediately, touchdown first intersection
Techsan Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 Someone asked one of our female crewmembers if she was the flight attendant (he wasn't joking). We all got a good laugh, and asked her for some coffee. I always like it when sitting in a lawn chair directly by the jet, getting asked the question....(heavy southern drawl) You fly this hur urrplane??
lloyd christmas Posted January 22, 2007 Posted January 22, 2007 I watched an F-15 pilot argue with a good ole Arkansas red neck for 15 minutes over the fact that the F-15 was not in Top Gun.
BADFNZ Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 My dad flies various Warbirds. He flew the FG1-D to Sun N Fun a few years back and had this convo: Guy: This your airplane? Dad: No, but I'm the pilot. Guy: You mind if I sit in it? Dad: Mind if I f**k your wife? Or this one when we took the OV-1 to some airshow: Kid: Mister, your bomb is leaking! [points at drop tank with fuel dripping from vent tube] [ 22. January 2007, 18:03: Message edited by: BADFNZ ]
Riddller Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 At the KC airshow with a Herk on static display: Man pointing to Fuse Tank: "So is that a nuclear bomb?" One of our crew: "Sure is, we take one to all the airshows and let people walk around it and bang on it!" ************************************* Man pointing to the IFR refueling hose/drogue we pulled out of the pods for static display: "So, how do you take off with them hoses hanging out?" Us: "We have the new anti-gravity levitators on the drogues so the just float down the runway behind us." Him: "REEAALLY? I didn't know that had those!" Us: "Sure, they just came out last year!" Him: "Coooool!"
Guest 89 Ride Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Cletus the slack jawed yocal: Hey man, this thing got a V-8 in it? Me: Hell yeah, 4 barrel hemi In front of B-1 Static display at Dyess in 2002
ACCBoomer Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 The most common question we in the -135 world hear is "are those depth charges?" (Speaking of the O2 rack infront of the boom pod)
HerkDerka Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: (One second after walking up the cargo ramp and reading the billboard describing the mission and capabilities of the C-130) So, what does this plane do? Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: (Upon seeing the four seats on the flight deck) How many people sit up here? Stupid kid: (Pressing rudder pedals) Mommy, what are these? Stupid parent: The right one makes the plane go and the left makes the plane stop. Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: (Pointing to nav station) Is this where the general sits? I had a father and son come up to the flight deck and the kid was obviously thrilled. His dad told me the Herk was is favorite airplane. I invited him to sit in the seat. Me: Do you have any questions? Brat: No. I all ready pretty much know what everything is since I fly this plane on FlightSim a lot. Me: That's rad. Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: Are you the pilot? Me: Yes. Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: Ha Ha. You're too young to be a pilot. (Brand new copilot who looks like he's 17 walks up to the flight deck.) Me: Here's the other pilot. Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: -------Silence------- Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: Does this plane fly? Me: Yes. Fatty Fat Fat Redneck: How did you get it out here? Me: By truck. HD [ 23. January 2007, 00:00: Message edited by: HerkDerka ]
FireMission Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Dumbass: "Do you know where I can get an application to work for the TSA?" Me: "Ummm, try asking the TSA. I'm in the Air Force." Dumbass: "Well I figured you'd know since you guys fly into airports all the time." Oh yeah.... and this one: Kid points at T-6 and says, "Did this plane just get back from Iraq?" [ 22. January 2007, 21:49: Message edited by: Airp ]
FireMission Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I'm sure everyone has overhead someone pointing at the pitot tube and confidently telling their dumber buddies that it's a machine gun.
Ram Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Originally posted by Airp: I'm sure everyone has overhead someone pointing at the pitot tube and confidently telling their dumber buddies that it's a machine gun. Sometimes that's not really a bad thing... While at KPHX...Cutter Aviation on a CT XC weekend: Hot blonde ramp girl: So this big thing is your machine gun, right? (points to T-38 pitot boom) Me: YES Girl: So, like, how many knots do you have? Me: TWO BIG ONES (seeing she doesn't get it, I say) Oh, about 600, or about a mile every six seconds Girl: WOAH! So, uh...is that faster than just about any car can drive? Me: Hmm...I take it you're not a mechanic here, eh? Ok...so that last line I only said in my brain, but I was thinkin' it. Although she was dumber than a box 'o rocks, I don't think anyone cared. And I keep going back...
Flare Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I've heard the machine gun several times in the Tweet, but 2 new ones I heard at the Nellis airshow in November (in reference to the pitot tube): 1) One mom explaining to her kids: "See that pointy thing right there? (insert STS) They fly really low and spear things with it and 2) Is that a candycane? :rolleyes:
Guest sleepy Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 This is one of the best damn threads I have read in quite some time. Any of you guys who also fool around with pistons for fun will (hopefully) appreciate this: An A&P mechanic (keep in mind, this guy is a licensed mechanic) pulled me over to a Stearman C3B (old airplane) with a Wright J-5 (old engine) with an old Ham Standard prop. The mechanic then explains to me that the decals on props are placed where they are because that's where you're supposed to place your hands when hand propping. (Try using that answer for GK on the T-6). THEN, he goes on to tell me that this old engine has great compression because you can hear a clicking sound when you pull the prop through. Guess he didn't learn about impulse couplings. At another event, another mechanic tried to explain to me that the primer lines were CHT probes. Here's yur A&P lie-cents, mistah. At'll be fi'dollars. When working the fly market once, a guy held up a tailwheel to me and asked "Is this the one I have on my airplane?" Me: "I don't know. What kind of airplane do you have?" Him: "Blue." Geez. [ 22. January 2007, 23:05: Message edited by: sleepy ]
abmwaldo Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 AWACS static display. Slackjawed yokel: Does the dome detach? Me: Sure, you see this station right here, that's where we fly it from. If someone tries to attack us we can detach it and use it to ram the bad guy. Stoner kid: What's in the dome? Me: It's the AWACS escape pod. If we're ever going down everyone just climbs in and it detachs and floats down. Old person: You're too young to be in the Air Force. Me: You're absolutely right, my parents don't know I'm playing hooky from school please don't tell them. Random person: What do you do on the AWACS. Me: I'm the person who goes up into the dome during flight and runs on the treadmill to spin the dome.
HerkDerka Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Most of us grew up loving planes and knew more about aviation than the average kid. When you got older you probably realized that you knew more about aviation than the average moron, but you still probably figured that most sane people could tell a fighters from tankers, props from jets, and P-51s from B-2s. Airshows are a huge wakeup call. This thread is case in point than most civilians know dick about aviation. Let's not even get started on what they "know" about the military. Hence the reason airshow music is so lame. Dumbing it down for the retarded masses. HD [ 22. January 2007, 23:58: Message edited by: HerkDerka ]
Bishop Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 2 Kids at Pcola "my brother is in the navy" "oh yeah well my brother is a blue angel!" During an A-10 Demo, at least they admitted they didn't know much bout aviation "is that the plane from Top gun" Numerous times planes doing demo with airshow smoke "Daddy that airplane is on fire" Quite possibly this took the cake.. 2003 Punta Gorda I went the saturday and drove down south to visit fam. Driving Back home sunday I see the Blue Angels doing their demo, so I stopped to watch the demo from the highway. The Blue Angels did a low pass and tons of cars slammed their brakes, and then on lady parks their car runs to me and asks me "Are we under Attack?" I responded politely but have gotten a good laugh at her expense many times since..
Cooter Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I love it keep it coming (STS)! I've not done an airshow per se but I'm out here at Flag and opened our jet to some folks and I have to say I've only got intelligent questions but it was from military folks (Well maybe not the Navy guys...kidding...no really... ). On a side note I got to fly on the WACer tonight...what an experience. And I thought our landings could be rough. Cooter Edited for debrief drinking! [ 23. January 2007, 02:28: Message edited by: Cooter ]
Toro Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 The idiot rednecks may be annoying, but the fanatics are downright eerie. I've seen a lot of these in the UK. I knocked out an I-check on the way to an RAF airshow a couple years back and we tried unsuccesfully to get approaches at a couple fields before we landed at RAF Waddington. When we landed, there was a row of people who had paid about $20 to get onto the taxiway the day prior to the airshow just to watch the jets land. The next day, I was approached by somebody who asked me how the I-check went; he had a personal scanner and had been following us through the different approach frequencies. Later, a guy asked me to sign his picture of a squadron jet. It had been signed by about 15 other F-15E aircrew, most of whom I knew, over the past several years as this guy went to different airshows. The picture was in a book with about 40 other USAF and RAF aircraft - all with multiple signatures.
brabus Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 On that fanatic thing...I was watching the t-birds perform about 2 yrs ago in CO. This guy just started talking to me out of nowhere about how #5 couldn't fly b/c he's DNIF from a cold and how (insert first name of T-bird pilot) is a good dude b/c blah blah. It was really weird, but I kind of shrugged off thinking he was a buddy of one of the pilots or something. Come to find out he was a prior-E in the 80s and had NO connection to the t-birds or anyone linked to the T-birds, EVER. And this whole time the guys talking to me like he's personal friends w/ all of them. It was fvcking weird...I just left. This shit is hilarious guys, keep it coming!
Guest 52MP Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Two of my favorites: Not all knuckleheads are yokels. Walking around the KBAD airshow with one of our Navs (both of us in shorts & t-shirts) passing a Fort Smith F-16 after they had a bad storm the week prior... Nav: So, you guys had a bad storm last week, did any of the jets have hail damage? Viper Dude: (Leaning on the pitot tube) Nah, this baby will pull 9 Gs, I don't think a little hail's going to hurt her. Me: Falling on ground laughing. Viper Dude: (busted look) Oh, you guys work here don't you. My other favorite at the Houston Airshow... Yokel: This is a B-52 right? Me: Yes. Yokel: These used to be bigger. Me: I don't think so. Yokel: No, they did. My pops used to work on them back when they were about twice this size and had props.
Coasta Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 From C-17 static display during family day at Boeing Long Beach: Stoner Surfer Dude: "Dude, can this thing land on the beach?" Me: "Yeah! Once." Keep fightin' the good fight Chuck. You SOCin' it up this week?
Coasta Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I'll agree that the JNs are probably the most proficient aircrew/aircraft stalkers. Quite a few of them had the binders with photos and signatures of YOK aircrews when I was there back in the day. Creepy!
Hacker Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 That same kind of sh*t happens in England, too. The spotters are always out there and know everything you said on your intra-flight freq. Next thing you know they'll have Have Quick, too, and be asking for a Mickey.
Guest AviatorFT07 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 (After a C-5 flyby, the aircraft makes a turn away from the crowd; the exhaust smoke is clearly visible from the engines) Yahoo: Oh man, they're cranking up the afterburners! (A crowd is viewing a UH-60 static display, manned by the Florida National Guard) Moron: Oh, these are just utility helicopters, we don't use them in combat in Iraq. Some good stories here, everyone...
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