Maybe I'm Too Old...

[Guest SATCOM]

The following is a true story that occurred Friday at my base and to me, illustrating why I believe the USAF over-relies on computers:

0700: Pull up to the gate, I hand my CAC (that's what it is now) to the SF guy and he looks it over. The bottom right portion of the card is pealing up (due to shoving it in/out of the CAC readers) and my expiration date is hard to view. SF guy says "You need to go to MPF and get a new ID card because this one is unreadable. Many cars behind me, so rather than subject others to a wait...I move out smartly.

0900: Enter MPF, only two people getting cards, so this SHOULD go quickly. I was very wrong. Getting a new CAC is an exercise in futility. Electronic fingerprinting, pictures, entering six digits, SSN number over and over etc.

0945: Get back to squadron, enter office and place CAC in computer. Computer does NOT recognize CAC, and advises that said CAC is locked out and to seek the assistance of the unit system administrator. Up to this point I've wasted almost an hour of my day, because it's not my fault that the CAC cards peal because the DOD uses the CAC readers.

1000: Track down our TSgt-additional-duty-unit-computer-system-administrator (CSA). Tell her my problem in great detail. She begins entering her CSA-digits to diagnose the problem. She explains that sometimes, MPF forgets to load the super-secret "certificates" on the CAC/ID card, thus preventing anyone from CAC'ing into their computer.

1015: CSA determines that my newly issued CAC has no certificates, and advises that I need to go BACK to MPF to have them load them. As I'm exiting the squadron, the DO says "Hey, did you get that e-mail from HQ this morning?" With a tinge of sarcasm I replied "Of course not sir, how could I, my CAC has no certificates, thus....I cannot CAC-in, in order to use my government-issued computer!" Drive to MPF, how much is gas these days?

1025: Re-enter MPF and see the same person that issued the original CAC. Explain the problem and advise that this is wasting my time. Diligently this TSgt sought to alleviate my frustrations. First he accessed the card and showed me that there were, in-fact, certificates loaded on my CAC. He had my old CAC there and showed me that the new CAC was from a NEW stock of CAC cards. Evidently there are only two manufacturers the DOD uses of these magnetic cards. In great detail I learn that my old card was made by GEMPLUS and the new one OBERTHA. Those of you that have read this much, go ahead and pull out your CAC real quick, flip it over and look at the upper LEFT corner.....you'll see one of those two makers there. But I digress. TSgt MPF advises that the two different cards require two different kinds of software to be loaded on your computer (now THAT friggin' makes sense) and that mine probably was missing this patch from base Comm or didn't have the software at all.

1100: Get back to the squadron and immediately go to the unit CSA, and bring her to my office. Just then the CC walks by and says "Hey, did you get that e-mail from HQ this morning?" and my reply "Of course not sir, how could I, my CAC has no certificates, thus....I cannot CAC-in." He shook his head, because he could plainly see the disgust on my old mug. TSgt unit-CSA re-enters my CAC and begins the electronic sleuthing that ONLY a designated and properly trained CSA can perform. I felt proud for a moment, as though I was witnessing a scene from that TV show CSI, which I believe stands for Crime Scene Investigation. She searched my computer for the proper CAC software for that particular CAC card, and said it was there. So we went to another computer in the unit and tried to CAC in, and was successful! So she admitted that certificates were loaded and that the problem was with my Dell computer.

1120: As I'm standing there, I figure that my time is being wasted, so I go to various parts of the squadron and conduct business, it's called Manage by Walking Around.

1145: Just before lunch I re-enter my office and ask how the CSI, I mean CSA scene is going. She tells me that she called a friend at Comm to assist her in fixing my computer. While on the phone with her friend, the Comm CMSgt overheard the Comm troop, and asked if there was a work order issued for the Comm diagnosis. The Comm Senior Airman told the Chief no, so you guessed it, the friend-to-friend-getting-it-fixed-method was ceased. My CSA had to hang up, call BACK to the Comm Help Desk and get a work order number for my Dell Government computer! This occurred as I was on my walk-about. I have a lunch appointment at 12 noon, so I advise the CSA to take her lunch and re-attack after RTB.

1310: Myself and the CSA get the Comm work order and connect telephonically with the technician, and they assist us in fixing my Dell. Ten minutes later, after loading new software, my Dell keyboard finally accepted my CAC and I could access that HQ message.

1320: Mission Complete.

Maybe I'm too old, but why did all of that have to occur? Do I have to waste that much time in order to get work accomplished? Evidently so.

[pawnman]

Next time, ignore the gate guard...it's not like he's going to follow you around and make sure you get a new CAC card.

[M2]

Wow, I am surprised you ever got it fixed at all! We go through this every year when our contract renews, so far I have to thank The Powers That Be as I have been able to get my certificates and everything to work first time around.

I do not like being at the mercy of the comms squadron, most of their 'security measures' only serve to prohibit legitimate users from using the network. Seriously, are people checking their Yahoo or Hotmail accounts really sucking up that much bandwidth that those sites have to be blocked? And if they are spending too much time on those sites, eBay, or God forbid BaseOps; then shouldn't it be up to their supervisors to fix that, and not the comms nazis? I understand there has to be limits--the public computers at ISAF were so full of porn and spyware that you couldn't connect to any web sites, then rendering themselves useless--but there also has to be a balance that those who have us by the short and curlies when it comes to computers and the Internet are failing to understand.

And call me old fashioned, but when I am told there is going to be an "upgrade," I expect my computer to work better/faster/harder. Usually it ends up meaning I can't log on...

Cheers! M2

[Guest Boom]

I lost my ID Card before I deployed. Now at KSKA if you lose your ID card you have to go to the cop shop and give a statement stating you lost it. So I went there, waited 1 1/2 hours since they were in the middle of an exercise, then go back to the MPF later only to find out DEERS was down.

And in a previous life I used to make the old green ones that would take 15 seconds to make.

[Bluto]

Been there, done that! At least you still have a CSA in your squadron, hell we don't even have those anymore. I believe our squadron has been reduced to a few life support troops (which are consolidating at the wing too) and a casual LT.

[Guest SATCOM]

Been there, done that! At least you still have a CSA in your squadron, hell we don't even have those anymore. I believe our squadron has been reduced to a few life support troops (which are consolidating at the wing too) and a casual LT.

Note that I wrote "Additional Duty" next to her CSA status. That's NOT her job or AFSC. We never had, nor never will have a CSA assigned to our squadron. I'm authorized a VCO, two CATM's, First Shirt, simulator technician, and a bunch more, but I do not have them actually assigned. Have requested at least weekly for the last year......nobody inbound.

[sky_king]

I lost my ID Card before I deployed. Now at KSKA if you lose your ID card you have to go to the cop shop and give a statement stating you lost it. So I went there, waited 1 1/2 hours since they were in the middle of an exercise, then go back to the MPF later only to find out DEERS was down.

Our MPF actually had a sign they put out when DEERS was operating. Kind of like a Coke Machine Temporarily Out of Order sign but in reverse. "Hey look at that, the program is working! That's different and we should alert people!"

[Shortbus]

Our MPF actually had a sign they put out when DEERS was operating. Kind of like a Coke Machine Temporarily Out of Order sign but in reverse. "Hey look at that, the program is working! That's different and we should alert people!"

One of my personal favorites that happened a couple of months ago: me - "I can't log in, I'm getting error xyz" SCM - "I'll email you the instructions on how to fix your problem". During my incredulous silence the individual's clue light came on...

[FallingOsh]

One of my personal favorites that happened a couple of months ago: me - "I can't log in, I'm getting error xyz" SCM - "I'll email you the instructions on how to fix your problem". During my incredulous silence the individual's clue light came on...

The same kind of thing happened here. We were locked out of our computers for not completing the yearly information assurance THAT HAS TO BE COMPLETED ONLINE. Everyone had to get temporary passwords from comm so we could log into ADLS.

My favorite was at Little Rock. We had to have 8 digit passwords for everything. They all had to be different, one capital, one lower-case, one special character, blah blah. It got so complicated to do anything on the computer that people just kept sticky notes with their passwords on their desks. It was so 'secure' that it was completely worthless.

Edited February 12, 2008 by FallingOsh