Old Guy Rant

[ClearedHot]

Ok, I've been drinking bourbon and after 18+ years it’s time for a rant to you young dummies out there. I am sure some will scoff and a few more will certainly roll in on me, so let me launch a pre-emptive fuck you up front, I don't care, deal with it.

Yes I am old and I have probably been promoted beyond the rank of usefulness, but I’ve seen a few things along the way and I am going to share them whether you like it or not.

I will give my disclaimer up front; yes I’ve been to school a few times and endured the Air Force Koolaid funnel, but at least in my pea brain, I’ve kept perspective and still consider myself a warrior. I could give a rats ass about scarves, especially when the air conditioning in our building is not always the best, which is why I’ve never said a word about your sleeves being rolled up, and not only do I condone Friday morale patches, I wear mine with pride. Given that perspective, there are a few things that make me want to mercilessly clown the offenders on the following axioms;

1. Grow the fuck up! Ok I get it, you are 20 something and you made it through years of training, upgrades, Weapons School and you are at the top of your game. That being said there is no….I repeat NO freaking reason to be an idiot. Step out of your testosterone filled melon for a second and truthfully tell me how you would react to seeing one of your bright and shinny instructors in his corvette sliding sideways at 80 MPH through the main intersection to the front gate. Was that supposed to be cool? If you will do something like that when you think no one is watching, what are you doing in the jet when I am not around? Hear me clearly, I want you to be aggressive, I want you to think about killing our enemies and doing as much as possible with the equipment the American taxpayers have purchased for you…Hell I want your fangs poking through the bottom of the cockpit when the balloon goes up. HOWEVER, I also expect a small amount of common sense and the personal integrity to know when to “push it up” for the right reasons and when to drive like a normal human being so I don’t have to waste my nonexistent free time keeping your ass out of a sling with the Wing/CC.

2. Take some personal responsibility for your own career. I didn’t make the rules, I can’t change the rules, all I can do is compete you within those rules. I know some of you profess not to care about getting promoted, I have also had a few of you moping in my office when you did not get picked up for school. Of course luck and timing can play a role and yes sometimes butt snorkelers get a leg up (although they usually crash spectacularly), but you are not doing anything to help me or more importantly yourself. Do you think I enjoy sitting in my office 14 hours a day working on OPRs and PRFs when I should be out flying with you and teaching the young guys. I would like to see how your Shakespearian skills would transform “Flew 83 tac lines, restocked the squadron snack bar, and contributed to CFC into a working OPR. I am NOT saying you have to volunteer to be the wing voting officer, but for the love of god give me some details about those 83 lines. You are doing god’s work training yourself and others to protect democracy. Take 30 seconds and write some of that crap down so I can leave my crap hole office before 2000 each night and perhaps eat dinner with my family and tuck the kid into bed once in a while.

3. If I have put you in a position of responsibility, try being a leader. Chances are that if I made you a Flt/CC or an ADO, it was not for the purpose of creating more work for myself. See bullet #2 about OPRs, but interject the careers of the folks that work for you. Take a few minutes out of your busy schedule of talking about porn and American Idol and try writing something more than “Johnny is a good pilot”. I fully understand that everyone can’t be a general. Trust me I’ve worked up close and personal with the dudes at the very top and I don’t want their job. HOWEVER, unless you want the shoe clerks running the show (which might happen anyway), we need to promote someone who understands what we do and can lead.

4. Make a difference. Not everyone is as smart as you are. While it is far easier to help the dude who learns quick than it is stick it out with the dude who struggles, you are failing if you overlook the kid with heart. Some of you are getting just enough experience to become a little jaded and it is almost comical to watch you make fun of a new kid as he struggles a bit. How much would it hurt your ego to learn that many of us old timers said the exact same thing about you just a few short years ago. I promise you it is far more rewarding to help the dude with heart, and when the light bulb comes on, the reward is something that will remain with you forever.

5. Try expanding your mind. Kudos to the dude who just wants to fly his plane around the flagpole everyday. In years past we would probably survive with a bunch of dudes like that. However, today we are in the fight of our lives. We are engaged in two combat theaters, our senior leadership has been removed, we are being minimized as a service, we are most certainly facing a large reduction in our budget, our airframes are old and tired, our people are worn out, and many of our adversaries have found a way to asymmetrically defeat our technological advantage. The bad guys are determined and more importantly, they are our-breeding us 12:1. Enjoy this little factoid I recently saw in a presentation. Something like 5% of our kids are born gifted. Reference countries like India and China…they produce more “gifted” kids each year than we do kids all altogether. Unless you want this country and our way of life and more importantly the way of life of our children to go screaming down the shitter, you need to understand the application of war a little bit more than aiming five mils high on a proximity round delivery. Try reading a real book about war and strategy, we are going to need your experience someday and since you volunteered to be a professional officer, try acting like one.

I have reached the pinnacle of a very mediocre career. This is the job I always wanted and I could care less what happens after this. In fact, unless it is something that is a perfect fit for my family, I will retire and let the next moron try to lead you.

I genuinely love each one of you bozos and I would do anything for you. When the balloon goes up, I won’t tell you what to do, I will show you and lead the way and I will expect you to be on my wing as we fight like stormtroopers of the apocalypse knocking on the gates of Armageddon.

That is all.

[PapaJu]

Well said.

BTW, who is that in the avatar?

[brickhistory]

I will retire and let the next moron try to lead you.

I genuinely love each one of you bozos and I would do anything for you. When the balloon goes up, I won’t tell you what to do, I will show you and lead the way and I will expect you to be on my wing as we fight like stormtroopers of the apocalypse knocking on the gates of Armageddon.

That is all.

It wasn't quite the "I'd be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle, anytime, anywhere' Patton-esque speech, but it wasn't bad.

Have a CC's call and say the same thing. This is exactly what needs to be said and would be surprisingly well-received, I bet.

[Butters]

Jesus! What brand of Bourbon are you drinking? I want some!

Right on about teaching the ones who are struggling, vs. making fun them.

[Danny Noonin]

harumph!

[Bishop]

BTW, who is that in the avatar?

Thats his wife.. oh man now your screwed

[Chuck17]

Jesus! What brand of Bourbon are you drinking? I want some!

"2!"

Nice post CH! I said a long time ago and once again recently in a Squadron Climate Survey or whatever the fnck those things are that "I want to be able to say that I would follow my squadron leadership into the gates of hell, if only they would ask..." I signed my name to that shit and meant every word. The CC said he liked the quote but its a tough thing to live up to. I asked him why?

If I was the CC Id expect that or do anything to make that happen.

Too bad only about 30% of the dudes Ive worked for fit that discription.

Chuck

[bfargin]

Great post. Sounded a lot like what my first SQ/CC would have said.

[Hacker]

That's the kind of sh*t that NEEDS to be said -- in public -- by a SQ/CC or above.

[Butters]

I would like to see how your Shakespearian skills would transform “Flew 83 tac lines, restocked the squadron snack bar, and contributed to CFC into a working OPR. I am NOT saying you have to volunteer to be the wing voting officer, but for the love of god give me some details about those 83 lines. You are doing god’s work training yourself and others to protect democracy. Take 30 seconds and write some of that crap down so I can leave my crap hole office before 2000 each night and perhaps eat dinner with my family and tuck the kid into bed once in a while.

How about...

Flew 83 Tac lines, 53 during the Day and 30 at night.

Restocked squadron snack bar, with crap that will make you fat.

Contributed to CFC, $3.

HOWEVER, unless you want the shoe clerks running the show (which might happen anyway), we need to promote someone who understands what we do and can lead.

Unfortunately some really good leaders make it to the top and are either assimilated or ostracized when they try to makes changes.

Back when I was a young safety officer, the squadron was deploying. We looked at where they told us we were going and it was a safety nightmare. There were other choices, but this one was the cheapest so of course that is what we were going with. I tried to pull the safety card, "Sir, if we go here chances are we are going to have a serious mishap..... [data proving my point here].

Boss: "OK, If I go to the CC and tell him we are not doing this, here is what is going to happen. He is going to fire me and get someone else to do it. I know who the person that would replace me is and trust me, you do not want to work for him. So we are going and we a will make the best of it."

Well, we went and did not have a major mishap, Only 27 HATRs, 9 bird strikes, and lost one UHF antenna to a mid-field barrier.

Most of today’s AF managers would have not even bothered to listen or explain anything. They just would have fired you and gone on signing the higher ups tune. At least my boss listened, and was honest with me about how his hands were tied… and then he fired me and threw me out of his office! Just kidding…

[Guest LtLoad]

I love it. Give us hell.

[FourFans]

CH - We need more like you.

...and more of that bourbon...

[Eeyore]

OUTSTANDING WORDS. Do at CC Call. I've added axiom I used as CC.

Labor

Effort

Attitude

Devotion

Example

Respect

Sacrifice

Honesty

Integrity

People

[sledy]

BTW, who is that in the avatar?

[Techsan]

Excellent old guy rant. Couldn't have been said any better.

This should be pinned at the top.

[Guest Boom]

[PapaNav]

Pour me some of the bourbon as well.

A kid gives me his OPR bullets recently.....has the requisite line about restocking the snack bar, but only one line regarding his two months in Iraq!

[Guest Buzzkill]

Well said.

BTW, who is that in the avatar?

Right click the avatar, go to properties. Her name is in the link. :)

Edited July 29, 2008 by Buzzkill

[DFRESH]

That speech gave me a woody (no homo)..... is that bad?

I hope I can serve under (sts) somebody like you one day.

2 on the pinning.... this should definitely be pinned.

[Guest CAVEMAN]

Pour me some of the bourbon as well.

A kid gives me his OPR bullets recently.....has the requisite line about restocking the snack bar, but only one line regarding his two months in Iraq!

When your deployed duties consisted of checking for ID's and making sure the command adhered to the reflective belt policy, it is really hard not calling a spade a spade. If I were deployed and had serious responsibilities, I would not have to think to itemize my duties and accomplishment. The truth is that such individuals were not essential and did not do a damn thing. (At least worth mentioning)!!

Just my thoughts

Cave

[busdriver]

Great rant CH.

Those self fellating OPR bullets are the hardest thing for me to do. I suck at providing OPR bullets for my raters.

I'm finally a shop chief, and I'm finding that I'm surprisingly OK with stiff arming leadership to give my guys room to work. I end up taking heat and looking bad in the short term, but screw it I'm not going to be a micro managing ass. I'll pass the importance of whatever the boss is pinging about, but I refuse to take over.

[war007afa]

That's not said bottle of bourbon we gave you for your Change of Command is it? B/c that's a LOT of booze! Wish more of our guys read this board...

[Guest FUBAR]

You sound like my first squadron commander. Wish there were more like you out there.

[Guest AirGuardian]

Now that ya'll have given him the OPR "accolades beyond reproach, well above his peers not only in years!"

It doesn't take Bourbon for him to give the masses the real deal like that.

I met CH back in the day during a Big Blue (nearly a year) Kool Aid course I coasted, he crushed. He always holds the line and pulls the trigger when he sees fit and rightfully so.

Take Care Mr. Hurricane. I know you're twisting heads and keep'em straight wherever you are now... Hopefully in the COCKPIT and that's the way it is.

Fellow Elder, but not wiser.

AG

[M2]

AG

It is good to see you back! I've been reading your latest posts, and deserve credit for showering some wisdom on this forum as well.

Still got the Repsol? Mine's covered in dust...

Cheers! M2