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Posted

...I think I have seen him running a few times...

Please, Please, PLLEEEAASSSE, point your leaf blower at him the next time he goes by. I promise hilarity will ensue.

Posted (edited)

Well, the zip code is 39702. Google will tell you everything you need to know without me posting anyone's personal info on the interwoo.

As for my interaction with this individual, I think I have seen him running a few times (there's an old guy who runs the neighborhood, but I never put 2+2 together) but I don't intend on seeking him out. With that said, I'm not sure I will have an option. I'm the only military guy in the neighborhood, and all the neighbors I have met so far have opened up with "so I hear you're a pilot!". This tells me that word is spreading around about me via the other neighbors, so it might get to you-know-who and he might come offer some "mentorship".

Based on the way he was discussed, the guy I spoke with today didn't hold HWSNBN in high regard... sounds like he's the same ole skeletor.

I googled it. Apparently that was my zip code once upon a time. I can't imagine voluntarily living there, especially if my pension topped six figures.

Edited by LockheedFix
Posted

As for my interaction with this individual, I think I have seen him running a few times (there's an old guy who runs the neighborhood, but I never put 2+2 together) but I don't intend on seeking him out. With that said, I'm not sure I will have an option. I'm the only military guy in the neighborhood, and all the neighbors I have met so far have opened up with "so I hear you're a pilot!". This tells me that word is spreading around about me via the other neighbors, so it might get to you-know-who and he might come offer some "mentorship".

Condolences bro.

So does he wear his lower g-suit <I mean "speed pants"> while jogging?

Posted

So guess who I found out lives just a few doors down from yours truly........

Pictures or it didn't happen.

  • 8 months later...
Posted (edited)

I was an Exec at Aviano during the height of Doc´s “Combat Programs” reign of terror. A decade later I still shake my head and wonder how this guy ever made O-5, let alone O-10. Anyway, I think it´s good to recount the crazy stuff he did so that he doesn´t somehow end up in politics, or whatever, and do even more damage.

Submitted for your approval…

1) He treated Aviano essentially as his personal flying club hobby shop. He would fly down, on average, twice a month, to fly F-16s, use the gym, jog around the base looking for infractions, eat at the club, and sing with his band to boost morale.

1a) He would typically always go to the gym immediately upon arrival. He insisted on being issued locker 001. I witnessed the day he received locker 002 (some SrA wasn´t briefed on the importance of locker 001). Doc was not happy. He was obviously the most important officer in Europe. Therefore locker 001 was the only appropriate locker. Doc let the Wg/CC know that Aviano needed to get it´s shit together. Doc then boarded his executive jet and returned to Ramstein LESS THAN AN HOUR AFTER HE ARRIVED because Aviano was not prepared for his visit. He just took his ball and went home.

1b) Doc does not like onions. I was there when he was served a salad with onions at the club. He looked like he was served a dead baby (kind of like when the French guy first opens the Ark of the Covenant in Indiana Jones before his face melts). Seriously, his eyes got big and he simply looked horrified. The club director saw the onions and whisked the plate away before too much could happen. Fortunately, that trip he was using his flying club hobby shop go give a second (yes, second) F-16 familiarization ride to his good friend, the co-founder of RyanAir (https://www.usafe.af.mil/news/story.asp?storyID=123017607), so he had to keep his composure.

1c) Doc likes things to be painted brown. On one of his jogging trips, he realized that the backs of the stop and yield signs on the base were bare steel (you know, ugly). He immediately ordered that the backs all be painted brown. He was happy with the result, but the Italian police were not. Each sign had an Italian sticker on the back saying who had approved the sign, that it was an official sign, etc. Painting the signs voided the permit. We had to buy all new signs.

1d) Doc thinks dumpsters are ugly. They disrupt the view while he is jogging. Doc also had a policy of “taxing” each wing for a portion of its operating funds (this is normal, but his tax was quite high). He would then dispense the funds to wings that would use the cash for cool projects he approved of. Aviano desperately needed money for real things (sorry, the only thing I can think of now is fuel for the cop cars), but Doc didn´t like that. Instead, he gave (actually, returned to) Aviano $200K to build $10,000-a-piece, brick dumpster enclosures. Yes, each enclosure cost $10K. Ugly dumpster problem solved.

1e) I´m not a pilot, so I probably have some of the vocab wrong, but you´ll get the idea. Doc really wanted to fly in some NATO exercise in the UK. He ordered Aviano to send more A/C than originally planned or really needed because he wanted zero chance of a Mx CANX. Someone in the MXS filed a Congressional complaint for waste. To make it go away, Doc rescinded the order and told Aviano to send the appropriate number of jets. I was at the meeting with the OG/CC and MXG/CC to discuss the “appropriate” number of jets. OG/CC wanted to send the number of jets originally planned since Doc had backed off his request. MXG/CC said “No, it´s a trap. We have to send the number of jets he really wants or we will be punished in some other way.” In the end Doc got what he wanted out of fear, waste be damned.

2) Doc´s combat programs were a metric-based tool to measure quality. One metric was waiting time at the MPF. I seem to remember that 3 minutes was acceptable. However, if Incirlik had a 2 minute waiting time, he would want to know why the other bases couldn´t keep up. So, some bases implemented an MPF greeter, like Wal-Mart. This would create a waiting time of 0 minutes (according to the rules of the metric), but would keep some MPF troop from doing any work, which in reality hurt overall time spent by people at the MPF. He would send operatives (secret police, in effect) to all the USAFE bases to verify the reported numbers. The Lajes SVS/CC got fired for “speeding” when the secret police couldn´t replicate the numbers. Keep in mind that the SVS metric was something like how many children attend story time at the library each afternoon (that one was Combat Wizard).

2a) Another SVS metric was profitability. If a base club or outdoor rec was not profitable for x months in a row, he would shut it down. It wasn´t enough that the bowling alley and slot machines generated enough profit to make the entire MWR suite profitable. He demanded that each section be profitable on its own. Who cares if people really like the auto hobby shop and we can fund it with slot machine money? If it can´t turn a profit by itself it´s gone!

2b) The SFS metric was shooting range efficiency. 100% of the range training slots had to be used every day. So if there was some maintenance emergency and SSgt Smith had to fix a plane at the last minute instead of shoot, it became a big deal (at the f*&%ing 4-star level) because it meant an empty range slot. Solution: if a squadron had X slots on Monday, it would have to send 2X troops just in case another squadron had a no-show. That gives you a 100% UTE rate for the shooting range, but a horrible rate for other mission areas.

3) Not about Doc, but shows the level of hatred. I dated an Army captain who had previously been on Gen Bell´s (USAREUR/CC) staff. Bell detested Doc and made a bunch of AFN commercials just to get more airtime than Doc and spin him up.

4) Stuff I can´t confirm, but I´ve heard the rumors multiple times:

4a) When he was the NAF/CC at DM, he required that the cars at the office holiday party be taller tapped.

4b) Not only did he have airmen at Ramstein raking leaves in a forest (confirmed), but he actually had them raking dead leaves out of the trees. I personally saw Doc´s replacement (sorry, can´t remember the name) shake his head and say “I can´t believe we had US Air Force members raking leaves in a forest.” So, even the higher-ups thought he was crazy.

Edited by Pajaro
  • Upvote 7
Posted

Pile on: One of the punks once spelled his name wrong on the lineup card, so he cancelled the whole first go for the base and held a pilot meeting about attention to detail.

  • Upvote 2
Posted

What a great thread! Here's some of my Doc stories from my EGUN time.

1. I watched O-5s and O-6s picking up cigarette butts for Combat Proud. My first realization that the AF had screwed up priorities.

2. He came in to shoot a commercial. All the parking curbs (they held the rank placards for the spots. We didn't us sign posts) had to be reprinted brown. We did a squadron cleaning that would make Martha Stewart jealous. Took us three days. He landed, went straight to the commercial, then left to visit Lakenheath.

3. We got tasked to fly him and his band around USAFE (and the Deid IIRC) over the Christmas holidays so he could bring morale to the troops. Each show was a mandatory formation for the base. On Christmas.

4. On flying Doc and his band back to ramstein, the jet had a fire in one of the engines. Crew handled it like pros, pushed on the ETAR. After landing, no thank you, no good job, no recognition that there was a fire and the T.O. says to land as soon as practicable. Just walks his happy ass off the jet like he flew himself home.

Wow. I feel much better!

  • Upvote 3
Posted (edited)

It's telling that the man didn't survive a year as a president of a state university. The patch in my sister squadron at Lakenheath was a genius: he crafted his own combat plan to track aircrew performance titled "Combat Combat."

Edited by Dupe
  • Upvote 3
Posted

The taller tapping of vans is true. Not only did they have to be taller tapped, you couldn't mix blue ops vans with green mx vans. That was at Ramstein. We also had to have the ropes on the aircraft chocks crossed in a bowtie fashion and the power cord running to the aircraft had to be in a straight line to the aircraft. It couldn't have a bend in it or any slack at all.

Posted

3) Not about Doc, but shows the level of hatred. I dated an Army captain who had previously been on Gen Bell´s (USAREUR/CC) staff. Bell detested Doc and made a bunch of AFN commercials just to get more airtime than Doc and spin him up.

B.B. Bell was a bit of a lunatic, but still a good dude for an Army GO and miles better than Doc. He actually came to SHAPE and read books to my son's kindergarten class, and my son said Bell really was a hit with the kids!

Bell also wasn't the only senior officer in Europe that thought Doc was an assclown...

Anyone else remember that gay-ass motorcycle safety commercial Doc did?

  • Upvote 1
Posted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ3kCqptpw0

He appears to be unable to appear in front of a camera without reminding you that he is a general. I'm surprised though that he agreed to do this without wearing speed pants.

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