Join Spouse Info (Married military couples)

[Guest inmemoryofthose]

Any information on joint spouse and how to get assigned together would be appreciated. JAG and MPF seem clueless.

[Toro]

What's your situation (what does each of you do)?

In a very general sense, I can tell you that the AF will try "their best" to get you close together, but you're likely going to make some sacrifices. I've seen several instances (including a guy in my current squadron) where it worked well and a non-flier spouse followed a flyer with very little delay to the same base. I've also seen many instances where the couple was separated by at least a state.

IMHO, the worst thing you could do would be to marry another pilot, as this is the hardest thing for AFPC to work. You can't be in the same squadron (or so I hear), so your options are to either find an MDS that has multiple squadrons at the same base (seen this) or go to seperate MDSs that are stationed in the same place (seen this attempted). Problem is that if you are able do this once, it's often tough to find a second location where this is possible. Strike Eagles are nice in that there are two different bases with more than one squadron (Lakenheath/2 and Seymour/4).

I just talked to somebody I knew who married another pilot prior to them getting their assignment. He got vipers, she got C-12s and the best they could do was an Osan/Kunsan assignment. She just found out she's pregnant and worked for about six month to get out of her flying job to be stationed with him and finally made it happened - both to Shaw.

You can't be married to another AF pilot and expect to have any sort of normal marriage.

[ 26 February 2004, 23:27: Message edited by: Toro ]

[M2]

Actually, just to be clear, the term is "Join Spouse." A pretty successful program from what I have seen, the AF puts a lot of effort into it but it can't be 100% all of the time. You can get the gouge off AFPC's web site at: www.afpc.randolph.af.mil

Cheers! M2

[Guest Slilock]

Here's the skinny on Join-Spouse. When you get married both you and your wife go to the MPF and tell them that you both got married and you want to update your Join-Spouse intent. There are three codes, A, B, & C.

A - You want a Join-Spouse assignment with your spouse both CONUS and OS (even short tours if possible).

B - You want a Join-Spouse assignment with your spouse only for CONUS.

C - You don't want a Join-Spouse assignment with your spouse at all.

As for the dual pilot thing, yes you can be both pilots and stationed in the same squadron. I have two 130 pilots stationed in my squadron here at Little Rock. Join-Spouse is easy if both of you are of the same AFSC, it's hard to do if say you're an F-15 pilot and she's a C-130 Nav.

Also Join-Spouse assignments are not guarnteed, the AF will station you AS CLOSE as they can, doesn't mean you'll go to the same base.

[Guest goirishgo]

hi, i just got engaged this past weekend. i am starting UPT at laughlin on dec 1st. my fiancee is a senior in AFROTC, commissioning in may. we are trying to figure out how we can be stationed together eventually. a little background, her top choices on the dream sheet are AFIT, comm, and intel.

when filing for join-spouse, do both people need to file, even if the other is not finished with training? for example, if i am putting in for my assignment out of UPT or follow-on, and she is still at AFIT but not due to finish at the same time as i finish my training, does she need to fill out her dream sheet early?

i guess to simplify my question, i know that when filing for join-spouse, both people need to put in for it. however, what happens when one of the two already has an assignment is not due for PCS just yet?

obviously there's a number of scenarios seeing as how i don't know what kind of planes i'll be flying and she hasn't found out what her AFSC will be... but anyone who has experience with the join-spouse program that can help shed some light would be appreciated. just trying to gather as much info as early as possible. thanks!

[Guest rotorhead]

Both should make their desires known (and exactly mirror each other). I read SURFs at AFPC on couples in which one had desire listed as station with spouse anywhere, while the other had do NOT station me with this guy.

Remember, it is Join Spouse, not Join Girlfriend. A fiancee is just a girlfriend in the eyes of the USAF. Some folks get a quick JOTP marriage just for the paperwork, and the fancy wedding months later.

[Guest ifrflyer]

I have been picked up by an AFRC C-130 unit to go to Nav school. My wife is AD AF.

Is there anyway AFPC would give her joint spouse and keep her at the same base I will be stationed at? Does AFPC even see that she is married to a reservist (DEERS)?

She has already done a base of preference worksheet (BOP), hasn’t heard anything on it yet.

Thanks,

-ifrflyer

[Guest AV8NSP]

Yes, AFPC will have vsibility on her being married to a reservist. Will your C-130 unit be at an AD base? If so, there shouldn't be a problem...but don't expect her to homestead. If she remains active duty, and gets an assignment to your base, it will only be a normal rotation. That is, you can expect her to PCS at the regular interval for her AFSC (typically about 3 years). If your unit is at a reserve base or a civilian airport, don't hold your breath for Join-Spouse. If there's no real AD billet there (not talking ART or AGR, as she isn't eligible for those as an AD line officer), she can't get stationed there. I did the Join-Spouse thing pretty successfully when we were both AD, but when I took an ANG slot, we both got out, and she found a reserve unit in the same state, so we could at least live together...

[Guest tollfree969]

All,

I have a girlfriend (I know, shocker...) that is currently in medical school to become an AF Doc (probably something more general practice like pediatrics). I will be going to UPT in a few years. I am thinking about putting a ring on her finger but I have a question…

Do any of you know any combinations of Docs and pilots in the Air Force? I have a feeling there would be a decent chance we would get stationed together (bases need docs), but it would suck if most of our careers were spent apart, and would this severely limit our base options? We will already be in at least a 4 year long distance relationship when I get out of UPT and she gets out of Med School, and it’s killing me. Just thought I would ask.

Thanks in advance.

[dmeg130]

Some good friends of mine are a pilot/doc couple, and have so far been very lucky with joint spouse at all of their locations. Now when all your buddies have to go see her for their physicals...let's just say she'll know who the best man really was.

[Guest mjk5401]

How far along is she with her Med School? Does she have to do rotations at particular bases? I went to UPT with a guy who's wife is in Med school in DC. She had three more years of rotations, only to be done at particular bases, when it was assignment night (already went a year and a half apart). When he put his request to be a FAIP or C21 to Andrews, APFC was nice enough to accomodate his request, however AFPC allotted the C21 to a different UPT base. That base wouldn't trade/swap for it because someone there wanted it too. He ended up getting neither and now will be spending another 3-4 years apart from his wife. Hopefully his next assignment will go better. It all depends on timing and luck. You have to make it through UPT first, then stay together during that time. Med school and UPT are both stressful on a relationship. Either way, good luck.

[Guest Sparky]

All,

I have a girlfriend (I know, shocker...) that is currently in medical school to become an AF Doc (probably something more general practice like pediatrics). I will be going to UPT in a few years. I am thinking about putting a ring on her finger but I have a question…

Do any of you know any combinations of Docs and pilots in the Air Force? I have a feeling there would be a decent chance we would get stationed together (bases need docs), but it would suck if most of our careers were spent apart, and would this severely limit our base options? We will already be in at least a 4 year long distance relationship when I get out of UPT and she gets out of Med School, and it’s killing me. Just thought I would ask.

Thanks in advance.

There are definitely a lot of "what if's" with this question. Assuming you get selected for pilot training, assuming your girlfriend gets picked up for the residency program where you will be located...you guys could spend years apart or be together the whole time. Don't count on her being able to follow you around simply because you are a "pilot" (if that happens). I just had some friends leave Barksdale and PCS to Nellis, he was flying B-52's and she was completing her residency at LSU for OB/GYN. The AF paid a lot of money to send her through Med School and residency and was going to get their money worth out of her. Not a lot of bases have OB/GYN's anymore...at least not my last 3 bases, Women go off base. My buddy couldnt find a job there, the bomber functional wasnt going to release him so they were going to be separated, luckily at the last minute they found a position for him...he got released and they are joint spouse. Depending on what her specialty is, it may limit your options...make sure and discuss that together and find out exactly what she wants to do and plan your decisions early. Don't count on what Boom said about her following you simply because your a pilot! It has to make sense. If your a B-52 pilot and she is a Pediatrician, the timing would have to work out...there is only one Pediatrician slot here and that doc just go here. Hope this helps, just figure out what will work for you guys. cheers, Sparky

[itsokimapilot]

I have a buddy that is now getting ready to due a six month deployment in order to align his PCS with his wife's residency program. I'm looking to due a remote to help my family. It doesn't matter what your wife/girlfriend does. Make sure you have a solid relationship that can handle all of the curveballs the Air Force will throw at you. I guarantee you will spend a lot of time away from your girlfriend. There are no promises anymore. I haven't been gone as long as most here and since jan '03 I have been gone (deployed) nearly 2 years. Enjoy upt, there are few flying clubs left in the Air Force.

[HerkDerka]

According to the AFA almanac, the Medical career field has the second highest number of officers behind pilot. Not to mention most AF installations have a MDG.

For joint spouse assignments, you'd be in pretty good shape.

HD

[Guest GirlzFly]

I know this is kind of off topic but my boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. He is a Guard F16 pilot and I'm an active duty KC 135 pilot. His guard unit is in Montgomery, Al and my first KC135 assignment is to Fairchild in Washington State. If we were to get married I would be happy with being stationed at McDill in Tampa, Fl for the time he's full time at his guard unit then going from there... would the Air Force move me to McDill before my 4 years at Fairchild are up if we get married sometime in the next years? I know the Air Force will only 'talk' to you if you are actually married and not just engaged but is there anyone I can talk to now to explore my options? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

[Butters]

To tell you the truth there is no absolute answer to any of these questions. I have seen the AF really screw some people over in my time and I have seen them really bend over backwards to help... I am AD married to traditional AFRC that works for Boeing. I have been at McChord for three years, so to prevent being handed another three year assignment to somewhere else I have volunteered for a short tour with a return to McChord. Not the best option in the world but it gets us back living in the same zip code quicker than any other option.

So, here is what I can tell you from my experience..

1. If you are not married the AF does not care!

2. If you get married after you have PCSed, don't hold your breath thinking they will let you go early... However, I have seen it happen in rare cases.

3. If your Reserve or Guard unit it at or near an AD base you may be in luck... for 3-4 years.

4. Depending on you AFRC unit you may be able to move to another AFRC unit when your spouse PSCs.

5. Good luck!

[Guest Boom]

I know this is kind of off topic but my boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. He is a Guard F16 pilot and I'm an active duty KC 135 pilot. His guard unit is in Montgomery, Al and my first KC135 assignment is to Fairchild in Washington State. If we were to get married I would be happy with being stationed at McDill in Tampa, Fl for the time he's full time at his guard unit then going from there... would the Air Force move me to McDill before my 4 years at Fairchild are up if we get married sometime in the next years? I know the Air Force will only 'talk' to you if you are actually married and not just engaged but is there anyone I can talk to now to explore my options? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

Depends on the manning of Fairchild (we have a shitload of new PIQ/MPD/Copilots/Whatever they call themselves today up here already) and Macdill's manning. Get married, update your join-spouse code at the MPF and start having your Commander start talking to the functional. However realize as an Active Duty Officer you're going to move 3-4 years after your first assignment and the AF isn't going to try and place you around your husband all the time. They'll do their best (and they really try to work the join-spouse thing for couples so everyone's happy) but sometimes it's hard. Also he can transfer Guard/Reserve units (not something he'd probably like to do since they spent $$$$ making him a pilot but it's an option).

On the flip side if you do get married and you aren't around your spouse and come up here you won't be the only one. My Sq has two female pilots who are separated from their husbands due to their jobs (one's married to a missileer and the other a SWO in the Navy).

[The Kayla]

I've really been thinking about joining the AF as a Nurse, once I have my BSN.

I know the jist of COT, and some idea of the follow on healthcare training.

My question to anyone who is there or BTDT, how was it worked out for you? I understand that this is one of those "It's what you two make of it.." type issues, but I would like opinions.. pros and cons.. what are somethings that if you could change, you would? or things that you wouldn't change.

I have tried to talk to a Healthcare specialist recuiter for the AF, but he's not being very helpful. I asked him thses questions:

1) Is there anyway I could contact a family who is dual military? I would like a general idea of what life would be life.

2) Assignments: I'm pretty positive that nothing is set in stone with the Military, but how likely is it that I could have a joint-assignment (I think that is what it's called) with my husband?

And he never answered me.. hell, he hasn't even responded to my last email regarding additional questions regarding a program or something (see, I wanted more info on it.. and he left me hangin'!)

Thanks in advance!

[Toro]

Kayla,

I moved your post to this thread since there's a lot of similar situations as what you're asking including this post from the first page. My wife is not AF, but she is an RN, so I'll throw my two cents in.

1) Is there anyway I could contact a family who is dual military? I would like a general idea of what life would be life.

I know a few people who were married AF couples. Most of them were flyers, but I actually know one couple that was pilot and dental technician (somewhat similar to your situation). If you want to PM me with your personal e-mail address, I can contact them and see if they would be interested in providing you some answers.

2) Assignments: I'm pretty positive that nothing is set in stone with the Military, but how likely is it that I could have a joint-assignment (I think that is what it's called) with my husband?

A lot of similar questions and answers throughout this thread, but the general consensus is that the AF will try to make it happen but they will not guarantee anything (and the term is "Join Spouse").

I would recommend against you joining the AF for several reasons.

- A nursing degree will give you the opportunity to work in a very broad variety of jobs. While you do have a good chance of Join Spouse considerations in the medical field, I don’t think that commissioning is necessary to work as a nurse for the AF. There are plenty of nursing GS (civilian) jobs out there, and if there isn’t one available at the base that your husband goes to, then you always have the option of applying to the civilian hospital in town. My wife worked as GS nurse in Lakenheath, and now works for a civilian hospital.

- As a civilian, you do your job on base and that’s it. If you are an officer, you are now eligible for all the perks that come with that role to include deployments and AEFs. Unless you are on an AEF cycle aligned with your husband, he could leave for four months and return two days after you’ve stepped out the door for your four month deployment (I work with a maintenance NCO who had that exact thing happen to him). If you do get assigned to the same AEF and have kids, you'll have to find somebody to watch them for four months (kids are not a trump card for deployments).

- Even if you are able to work all of your assignments to the same base as your husband, you will rarely PCS with him unless you can get your report dates aligned. When you arrive at a base, you incur a Time on Station commitment that you cannot alter without special circumstances (which join spouse is not). It’s not a big deal, but as you know or will soon discover, PCSing is much easier if done together.

I would research more information on civilian nursing opportunities within the AF before you get committed to commissioning.

[Guest thebratpack]

My spouse has ten years in....I am an RN. My advise is stay civilian with the degree. There are many benifits to working the civialian side. Variety, opportunity to change specialties, etc. Also, if you secure a job before moving to your next assignment, you can inquire about relocation allowances. Most facilities will provide you with some $$$ for relocation. PM me if you have more questions re: this area.

Another thing to consider is that although you may not be thinking about it now. Kids may and could very well come into your future. With two spouses AD deploying and reassigning makes stability a bit harder to maintain. But it can be done. Just easier when one is AD and the other is civilian.

If your concern is student loans. Most states and or facilities are starting to offer forgivness progams. If all else fails, try the VA hospital (if there is one in your area)....pay usually beats civialian and AD pay, student loan payback (up to 40,000 the at the facility in our area), many oppurtunities for further education....again PM me if you want more specifics.

[Guest lemondrop]

My boyfriend is currently at UPT. I will be commissioning and going to UPT next year. I want to either go bomber or fighter, and he wants to fly heavies. I was wondering if this situation would work out? Would we be able to be stationed at the same place? Would it be easier if we were both heavy pilots? Any information at all would be appreciated. I keep going over things in my head and I don't see how things will work out.

[Toro]

My boyfriend is currently at UPT. I will be commissioning and going to UPT next year. I want to either go bomber or fighter, and he wants to fly heavies. I was wondering if this situation would work out? Would we be able to be stationed at the same place? Would it be easier if we were both heavy pilots? Any information at all would be appreciated. I keep going over things in my head and I don't see how things will work out.

Prepare to do a lot of commuting or not seeing your husband for long periods of time.

Look into heavy bases near fighter bases....nagunna find much. Look into bases with heavies and fighters together....you're gonna find even less.

Holding out for the joint UPT IP gig is idiotic - it's one assignment out of a 10 year commitment.

[Butters]

My boyfriend is currently at UPT. I will be commissioning and going to UPT next year. I want to either go bomber or fighter, and he wants to fly heavies. I was wondering if this situation would work out? Would we be able to be stationed at the same place? Would it be easier if we were both heavy pilots? Any information at all would be appreciated. I keep going over things in my head and I don't see how things will work out.

Honestly, if neither of you have finished UPT it is not even worth worrying about it right now. UPT has always been full of surprises, you never know how things are going to turn out. He could change his mind half way through T-6s and want to go fighters. Hell, I have seen a couple both get fighters and then have one wash out of IFF and go to C-17s. Had another guy at Yokota turn down his follow on to C-17s to go E-3s because that is what his wife got out of T-1s.

Only time I have heard of fighter married to airlift was F-16-C-17 assigned Shaw and Charleston, lived in Sumter, divorced a year later.

[Buddy Spike]

FYI....

Two pilots can be mairred and in the the same squadron. I have 2 sets in my SQ right now. They just can't be on the same crew or fly as a pax when the other is crew on the same jet.

Anyone have the reg reference for this? Thanks.

[Boxhead]

Anyone have the reg reference for this? Thanks.

The reg that says you can't be PAX if your family is on the aircrew was changed in...oh...around 2004ish. It was not an "aircrew" reg, it was a PAX terminal reg. Don't ask me what the # was.

I do know that once that changed, spouses/family started taking lots more trips around the pacific while I was there!

Point of the thread though: The AF is a family, you should never marry your sister.