Join Spouse Info (Married military couples)

[HuskyPilot]

The wife and I are both active duty, not stationed together.  We met, PCSd to different bases, then got married.  She is separating from AD soon in order to live with me full time.  She has been talking to the in service recruiter to become a traditional reservist at March ARB.  Her recruiter mentioned the possibility of getting a join spouse assignment for me.  I'm a KC-135 pilot (McConnell) and March is an active-associate unit.  Is the recruiter full of it, or is join spouse to follow my soon to be reservist wife in the realm of possibilities?  Either way, this next PCS (wherever it is) will be my last on active duty, so I'm not too concerned on where to go from March.  FWIW, apparently their reserve -135 manning has seen better days; not sure if that would make any difference.  Overall it seems too good to be true...

 

Thanks in advance!

[HeloDude]

23 hours ago, HuskyPilot said:

The wife and I are both active duty, not stationed together.  We met, PCSd to different bases, then got married.  She is separating from AD soon in order to live with me full time.  She has been talking to the in service recruiter to become a traditional reservist at March ARB.  Her recruiter mentioned the possibility of getting a join spouse assignment for me.  I'm a KC-135 pilot (McConnell) and March is an active-associate unit.  Is the recruiter full of it, or is join spouse to follow my soon to be reservist wife in the realm of possibilities?  Either way, this next PCS (wherever it is) will be my last on active duty, so I'm not too concerned on where to go from March.  FWIW, apparently their reserve -135 manning has seen better days; not sure if that would make any difference.  Overall it seems too good to be true...

 

Thanks in advance!

Yes, the recruiter is full of it.  AOs are under no AFI/policy guidance to get AD members stationed at guard/reserve bases to be with a part-time reservist.  That isn't to say it couldn't happen since the March assignment is always a possibility, just know that the AO doesn't have to answer for not doing it.   AOs only have to station AF AD members married to AF AD members (or get AFPC CC approval to not do it).  Yes, I am a join spouse...

[daynightindicator]

Yes, the recruiter is full of it.  AOs are under no AFI/policy guidance to get AD members stationed at guard/reserve bases to be with a part-time reservist.  That isn't to say it couldn't happen since the March assignment is always a possibility, just know that the AO doesn't have to answer for not doing it.   AOs only have to station AF AD members married to AF AD members (or get AFPC CC approval to not do it).  Yes, I am a join spouse...

All true, just want to add that a good functional and supportive leadership can go a long way to helping out that situation. But Helo is correct, they're not obligated to help you out.


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[AwShoot1209]

On 1/23/2017 at 11:35 AM, MitchS said:

In your experiences, which AFSC "mil-to-pilot" couples have had the least trouble getting stationed together? Which AFSCs need to be avoided?

The wifey and I have made Intel/Pilot work for 4yrs so far.  Every base that has non-AETC aircraft will probably have intel support, so there's your first assignment together.  

My platform has several options outside the ops unit to PCA around base:  the initial training (IQC/FTU), instructor course (FIC), test squadron (TES), and weapons instructor course (WIC).  Even if your ops unit's base doesn't have all those things, any base that has aircraft will have plenty of jobs available outside of the ops squadron:  wing scheduling, various exec gigs, etc.  I know some folks that have PCA'd around base for 8-12yrs, some without join spouse.  You're doing different-enough jobs that it still shows progression, even if you never PCS.  

The Intel gig is different.  The ADSC is shorter, and mastering the core competency of ops support relatively simple to master, that intel leadership wants their young CGOs to branch out quickly and gain experience in a variety of intel functions (DGS, ISR, AOC, etc.).  My wife was able to work an ops-ops PCA because both units were on base and it was with different aircraft (and vastly different missions; tac airlift vs. CAF), but I hear that's generally a hard sell if it doesn't show any progression (such as doing ops support for one tac airlift squadron, then doing ops support for another tac airlift squadron).  

A short term separation will be SUPT and the Intel FTU at Goodfellow.  Laughlin is pretty close to Goodfellow, so weekend visits will be easy.

All this probably holds true for PA, LRS, etc...

[Flying EE]

I am in AFROTC and have been awarded a Pilot Slot. I am married to an Enlisted SF AFSC. I am trying to find out what is the possibility of having her being able to be stationed with me at UPT. The training meets the length requirements and she is eligible to PCS.

ROTC cadets don't have access to the AF Portal to select marital assignment preference.  I am considered IRR, so do we have to wait until I am AD to apply for Join Spouse? AFI36-2110 attachment 8 mentions a letter application which seems like the most likely route.

[HeloDude]

18 hours ago, Flying EE said:

I am in AFROTC and have been awarded a Pilot Slot. I am married to an Enlisted SF AFSC. I am trying to find out what is the possibility of having her being able to be stationed with me at UPT. The training meets the length requirements and she is eligible to PCS.

ROTC cadets don't have access to the AF Portal to select marital assignment preference.  I am considered IRR, so do we have to wait until I am AD to apply for Join Spouse? AFI36-2110 attachment 8 mentions a letter application which seems like the most likely route.

All good questions to ask your ROTC cadre.  Not trying to be a jerk, but seriously, this is exactly what they are there to do.

[Flying EE]

1 hour ago, HeloDude said:

All good questions to ask your ROTC cadre.  Not trying to be a jerk, but seriously, this is exactly what they are there to do.

That is always my first stop after I check the regs. They typically have no clue and say "we will look into it" then never do, and they ask cadets on how ROTC is run instead of looking it up themselves. I am reaching out now because I haven't been able to find anything and see if anyone has some advice.

[Dapper Dan Man]

That is always my first stop after I check the regs. They typically have no clue and say "we will look into it" then never do, and they ask cadets on how ROTC is run instead of looking it up themselves. I am reaching out now because I haven't been able to find anything and see if anyone has some advice.

Back in the day in ROTC I think there was some sort of "desire joint spouse" option you could mark when you put in for your UPT bases. No guarantees on the timeline, but for us we got pilot slots February junior year, put in for bases in the fall, and got our base December senior year. That was 6 years ago so take it with a grain of salt. Good luck man.


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[brickhistory]

On ‎3‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 11:50 AM, Flying EE said:

I am in AFROTC and have been awarded a Pilot Slot. I am married to an Enlisted SF AFSC. I am trying to find out what is the possibility of having her being able to be stationed with me at UPT. The training meets the length requirements and she is eligible to PCS.

ROTC cadets don't have access to the AF Portal to select marital assignment preference.  I am considered IRR, so do we have to wait until I am AD to apply for Join Spouse? AFI36-2110 attachment 8 mentions a letter application which seems like the most likely route.

Didn't go to UPT or marry an E.

However, something to consider:  If you got to UPT base X, and spouse gets an assignment there, you are there for a year-ish.  She, on the other hand, drew the PCS commitment and sentence - two years if she takes an overseas gig afterwards, or at least three if it's CONUS.  Possibly longer.

So, in the long view, is her being there while you go through UPT AND she is doing her job with, I assume, it's own long hours and pressure at the same base, A) how fun would that be for both of you and B) what happens when you are winged and off to Base Y for B-course/MQT, etc?  She's still stuck at UPT base X for a lot longer time.

 

[Guest]

Didn't go to UPT or marry an E.
However, something to consider:  If you got to UPT base X, and spouse gets an assignment there, you are there for a year-ish.  She, on the other hand, drew the PCS commitment and sentence - two years if she takes an overseas gig afterwards, or at least three if it's CONUS.  Possibly longer.
So, in the long view, is her being there while you go through UPT AND she is doing her job with, I assume, it's own long hours and pressure at the same base, A) how fun would that be for both of you and B) what happens when you are winged and off to Base Y for B-course/MQT, etc?  She's still stuck at UPT base X for a lot longer time.
 

If he goes to Vance, then drops 135s, 17s, 46s, or E-3s they'd at least be in the same area until her commitment is almost up.


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[Fuzz]

On 2/10/2017 at 7:25 PM, AwShoot1209 said:

The wifey and I have made Intel/Pilot work for 4yrs so far.  Every base that has non-AETC aircraft will probably have intel support, so there's your first assignment together.  

My platform has several options outside the ops unit to PCA around base:  the initial training (IQC/FTU), instructor course (FIC), test squadron (TES), and weapons instructor course (WIC).  Even if your ops unit's base doesn't have all those things, any base that has aircraft will have plenty of jobs available outside of the ops squadron:  wing scheduling, various exec gigs, etc.  I know some folks that have PCA'd around base for 8-12yrs, some without join spouse.  You're doing different-enough jobs that it still shows progression, even if you never PCS.  

The Intel gig is different.  The ADSC is shorter, and mastering the core competency of ops support relatively simple to master, that intel leadership wants their young CGOs to branch out quickly and gain experience in a variety of intel functions (DGS, ISR, AOC, etc.).  My wife was able to work an ops-ops PCA because both units were on base and it was with different aircraft (and vastly different missions; tac airlift vs. CAF), but I hear that's generally a hard sell if it doesn't show any progression (such as doing ops support for one tac airlift squadron, then doing ops support for another tac airlift squadron).  

A short term separation will be SUPT and the Intel FTU at Goodfellow.  Laughlin is pretty close to Goodfellow, so weekend visits will be easy.

All this probably holds true for PA, LRS, etc...

Some AETC bases have intel as well, just depends on the MWS. Knew a pilot/intel couple who worked a join spouse to Altus. Obivouly the UPT bases don't have any but I'm trying to think of a schoolhouse besides Altus that isn't colocated with operational units.

[Torch09]

I got a little bored.  Data for those considering a join spouse relationship:

Of the 6.4yrs/2,352 days my wife and I have been married, 2.5yrs/909 days have been apart.  That's an average of 4.7mo/141 days per year physically separated by TDY, PCS, or deployment.  The average duration of separation is 37 days, including the occasional 1-2 day jet-swap TDYs.  

We've had one PCS separation that left an 11mo gap, with the rest stationed together.  Days apart does not consider leave taken to visit each other while separated via PCS.

We also have jobs that are highly compatible, both ops-focused and relatively easy to station together.  If we were committed to different MWS's or didn't have today's friendly AF policy directing join spouse assignments, it would be far worse.  

The 1-3wk TDYs aren't bad.  It's enough time for the spouse still home to work on house projects, hog all the time with the kiddos, and then appreciate the return of the TDY spouse.  Deployments longer than a couple months suck; 5-6mo are standard in our jobs.  

Thankfully, we've had CC's on our side for the couple times we've asked for a break.  One was simultaneous deployments, leaving our 1yr old with family.  The other was staggered deployments, with only 5wks together over the course of 2yrs.  CC involvement in both cases helped shift things around, and both worked out well for our family.  

Things that helped make the separations easier:

1.  Set expectations low.  Even if it's an easy TDY, walk into each one as though you won't have time to talk until you're both home.  Any contact is then a pleasant surprise.  

2.  Block off leave and family time for after the TDY/deployment well in advance.  Keep it sacred.

3.  If the AF is paying you to go to Nellis, find a reliable babysitter (i.e. grandparents) for the kiddos and fly the wife out there for one of the weekends.  Second honeymoon.

4.  Don't overcommit on unnecessary projects.  You're both making a decent paycheck, so don't go full dad mode and install a deck by yourself at the expense of relaxing with the family.  Pay for the labor on tasks that you don't inherently enjoy, and consider it an investment in mitigating the stress of future time apart.  

5.  Enjoy the crap out of the times you get the kiddos to yourself.  It's a lot of work on top of your day job, but good grief it's fun.  

6.  Your Family Care Plan forces this, but it's a good idea regardless:  Have 2-3 close friends in the local area that you trust to pick up your kids and care for them overnight.  I had to ask for help a couple times that a night sortie was unavoidable.  Work with DOS to ensure you have as much of a nuggets' up as possible on sorties that will impact your ability to pick up kids from daycare.