Leadership at the 'Deid

[Toro]

The subject has been touched on in the past, but I'd like to open a thread to highlight all that is lame with current Ops at the 'Deid.

When the shooting war was starting, everybody was too preoccupied with the no-$hit mission to worry about queep. Then the jets started coming back with bombs and the shoe clerk mentality started to grow.

Here's my first story -

Over in 'Ops Town' we had a bathroom that was just a short walk from our Ops Tent. By the time we got there, there was a good deal of penned-in graffiti on the walls of the $hitters. Standard $hitter immature crap. Well somebody got fairly pissed about it, sent in some dudes to paint over the walls and then decided the problem would be solved by TAKING THE CRAPPER DOORS OFF! So now anybody who wanted to take a dooker had to do so in front of God and anybody else who decided to walk in. This same c@ckslap O-5 sent a message to '379AEW/ALL' lamenting on the situation of the crappers and announced that the bathrooms were now starting on a clean slate.

Our motivated lieutenants temporarily solved the problems by going to the BX and buying shower curtains which they draped over the crappers for provacy. But at some point before the curtains were installed, the first lick of graffiti was written on the crapper wall -- "CLEAN SLATE!"

[Hacker]

Originally posted by Toro:

When the shooting war was starting, everybody was too preoccupied with the no-$hit mission to worry about queep.

Good story, but can't say I agree with this part. There was still plenty of *****ing about reflective belts, flight suit sleeves being rolled up, floppy hats, friday patches, singing 'offensive' songs at the Wagon Wheel, f*cking in the bomb shelters, p*ssing in piddle packs in the tents, etc, even while there was a full-on shooting war going on.

There is more than enough BS in the Air Force to go around even when we're supposedly 'doing the real mission'.

[ClearedHot]

My favorite crapper graffiti viewed at K2...

"Flush twice, it's a long way to the chow hall"

[C17Driver]

I'm thinking it was around summer 04 - When the deed went to a strict apparel policy. Our crew left the states on our two week trip right before the word got out that PT gear or uniforms would be required there. So we show up on a Friday night and the stage tells us that starting Sunday the deed would have this new policy. We don't really think anything of it...Saturday afternoon we launch on a 24 hour mission. We get back Sunday afternoon and decide to go grab something to eat. Well now the PT Gear policy is in full force. No shit, the Loadmaster (MSgt with 18 years in) and I get stopped three times on the way to the chow (which is just across the street) because we had pockets on our shorts and PT gear doesn't have pockets, or so we were told.

We get up to the door, the door checker wouldn't let us in; not because of the pockets, but because the Load had belt loops on his khaki shorts!

[Guest ELan]

Saleem is making the Air Force PT Gear an official uniform that you are required to wear, when not in a flight suit/DCU. There is a 3-4 page document on how to properly wear it. Effective October 1st. CAN'T wait for the PT NAZI's who will be stopping you everywhere, for not properly wearing the "uniform". I take it that the Died is already like that then...

Just another example of making life harder for everyone that's there to accomplish a mission.

[ 21. September 2005, 16:32: Message edited by: Torch ]

[HerkDerka]

Toro, oh man I remember the crapper doors.

What shortsighted idiot thinks it's within his right to deny privacy during a nice offload. I was seriously considering taking that one to the IG, but he's one of the enemy too.

I think my personal favorite was "Dolly The Love Ewe". For those who have yet to go, the MDG/CC was a real toolshed. In lieu of being issued a vehicle, he rode his bicycle everwhere. I shit you not he had a small Col placard made and had it fixed on the front of his handlebars. To go along with that, he had a desert camo cover made for his bike helmet that has, you guessed it, an O-6 eagle on the front. That dork actually expected salutes on a damn bicycle. That, my friends, is the essence of the NSPFness at the Died.

A couple guys who were making an anonymous and scathing lampoon newsletter called the "AUAB Desert Penguin" Took an inflatable pink cow and took pictures of it on the Col's bike. I can't remember the commentary in the newsletter, but it had something to do with the cow's "new position" in the medical group.

HD

[ClearedHot]

I almost got an Article-15 from the Army K2 base commander because I would not take the parachute down from our make-shift porch. We flew at night and slept during the day. It was in the 100's and the power kept going out so we would wake up and go sit under the parachute to get some shade.

"Sorry Col SIR, I was busy flying ocmbat missions and killing bad guys down range. I will cancel my CAS missions tonight so I can take down the parachute and make it look like a perfect little Army base." Freaking tools.

[boobs]

I know the feeling. I was in Saleem and the services group commander decides its time to enforce shirt tucking policy....Well I have no freakin clue who the hell this overweight figure is, so I blow off the suggestion. Mistake #1! It then becomes her job to lecture me on proper uniform wear. When I realize who it is I half heartedly comply. This services group commander doesn't even eat in her own chow hall! I know this is rambling but my point is... if you OWN the chow hall and choose to eat at the Army chow hall, how can your own people respect the job your doing. I know not applicable but still more deployed bull(&*^. Thanks for your time. Stay Classy San Diego,

~BOOBS

[Guest CrewDawg1]

So we were sitting there eating the OPS town chow hall and my friend notices someone walking toward him with a light on in his pocket. So my friend said excuse me sir but you have a light on in your pocket. Well the LT. Col. just starts chewing his ass right there in the chow hall for correcting an officer. Makes a big seen and threatens to arrest him for correcting an officer. Go figure

I have never seen a place that is able to kill morale as good as the Died. Like they said starting 1Oct AF PT uniform is mandatory. Glad I am getting out of here before that. I will not miss this place. .

[ 21. September 2005, 23:04: Message edited by: CrewDawg1 ]

[Guest ELan]

I always got a chuckle out of being turned down at the chow hall because you didn't have your ID, like you came to the desert, because it was some great dining experience. Do I look middle eastern...I'm probably in the military...oh and I won't pass on any of your culinary secrets!

One thing the Died does have is beer...be happy for that...

[ 21. September 2005, 22:25: Message edited by: Torch ]

[Techsan]

Originally posted by Torch:

I always got a chuckle out of being turned down at the chow hall because you didn't have your ID, like you came to the desert, because it was some great dining experience. Do I look middle eastern...I'm probably in the military...oh and I won't pass on any of your culinary secrets!

One thing the Died does have is beer...be happy for that...

I can totally relate. One night, 5 of us thought it would be a good idea to hang out at the Brit club in the CAOC. One of us had a CAOC badge and was going to sign us all in. Well, one of the other guys didn't have their ID card...but we all vouched for the guy and was let in. After our "3" beers at the Muff, we started to make out way to the Camp Andy chow hall for some midnight munchies. And wouldn't you know it...the guy who didn't have his ID card (who was let into the CAOC) wasn't allowed to partake in some biscuits and gravy, and was told that he had to have his ID in order to eat. That just cracks me up!!

I can't wait to go back

[HerkDerka]

A story going around the last time I was there said that some Maj in the service squadron was tired of "her troops" having to clean up beer bottles after the bra closed down for the night. She said it would be her "personal mission" to turn the Died into a dry base AFTER SHE RETURNED HOME.

Not that I condone being a slob. Isn't this Services' job anyway? Cleaning up other peoples crap? Serves them right for enlisting Open General. Do better on your ASVAB next time.

As for the Major, I guess if you don't have a real mission in your job, you need to find one.

The Died is a clinic in double standards. The wing always *****es about stopping at the bus stops to pick people up. The only person from the wing staff I ever saw stop and pick someone up was the wing shirt. Of course I think the only reason he gave me a ride (sts) was so he could impart his wisdom on leadership to a young LT. Thanks dude, now shut up and drive.

Another one is how the leadership always harps on all of the bathroom regs, i.e. reflective belts and IDs to the bathroom etc. But they made sure to have dookers installed in their quarters.

HD

[ 21. September 2005, 22:44: Message edited by: HerkDriver24 ]

[TacAirCoug]

Steak and shrimp night. You can have one serving of each, but you can't have two servings of one or the other.

Originally posted by HerkDriver24:

In lieu of being issued a vehicle, he rode his bicycle everwhere. I shit you not he had a small Col placard made and had it fixed on the front of his handlebars. To go along with that, he had a desert camo cover made for his bike helmet that has, you guessed it, an O-6 eagle on the front. That dork actually expected salutes on a damn bicycle.

Are you sure they weren't filming new episodes of M*A*S*H?

[Guest Hoser]

They just started taking the crapper doors off when I was there last. Are they still off?

They had also just implemented the "only PT gear around the CC" policy. I got stopped by some clothing Nazi outside the chow hall who was trying to prevent me from eating. I told him to go pound sand.

Hoser

[Guest HueyPilot]

I'm at the Deid now...ops here are pretty ridiculous. I got grouched at by some MSgt pulling dress Nazi duties about not having my patches on my flight suit...sorry, I took them off to be sanitized for a flight into the box and the intel folks lost them and we came right over to eat after a 14 hour day...excuse me.

Just 23 more days...or, looking at it the other way, just 143 more days till we're back here again.

[BossHogg]

Having lived on both sides of the fence for about six months. Having spent almost two years in the usual garden spots, Seeb, Deed, Ali, and (insert some corn hole spot here).

We are entrusted to protect the constitution against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Well, I think this needs to be broken down a little better to clearly define who is truly the enemy. As one Lt Col, that I don't really even care for put it, there are the insurgents, and there are security forces -- both organizations are sitting around twisting their mustaches/beards and making elaborate plans to end your career.

I have now run to AETC for refuge; which is equally depressing, not because of the typical stereotype of AETC. A bunch of rule wankers that love to wallow in self-inflicted queep. It is depressing because compared to the services, security forces, and uniform nazi's. Well, it is more like club med.

So, I drink a beer for you guys -- keepers of the reflective belt. May your jogging without music, reflective belt/tucked in pt uniform wearing, saluting while carrying 60 pounds worth of gear, 1/4 mile walk to the pisser, triple fod checking asses remember that people were not meant to live this way.

I will zonk you out and make you feel like you have been fishing all day.

[TacAirCoug]

THREAD REVIVAL

Boys and girls, we're winning the War on Terror one reflective belt battle at a time. This greeted me when I opened my inbox:

New reflective belt guidance for Al Udeid Air Base. The reflective belt is no longer required in Coalition Compound (CC) unless running or cycling along any road surface (see below).

1.12. (Added) Reflective Belts. Outside of Coalition Compound (CC) and CAOC, the reflective belt will be worn by all personnel during hours of darkness or periods of reduced visibility. It will be worn around the waist ONLY, not only while in uniform but also in PT gear. The reflective belt is not required in the Air Force PT uniform due to the reflective material incorporated into the clothing. The reflective belt is not required within the confines of CC in any uniform or PT gear. EXCEPTION: the reflective belt is required if running or cycling along any road surface within CC and the CAOC. ESFS personnel will not wear reflective belts while in the performance of their duties.

Edit: My three allotted beers.

[ 15. April 2006, 11:18: Message edited by: TacAirCoug ]

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by TacAirCoug:

It will be worn around the waist ONLY, not only while in uniform but also in PT gear.

The reflective belt is not required in the Air Force PT uniform due to the reflective material incorporated into the clothing.

The reflective belt is not required within the confines of CC in any uniform or PT gear.

Ummm...contradiction anyone?

ESFS personnel will not wear reflective belts while in the performance of their duties.

Yeah, because they gots to be out there "dug in" and "holding the line" and all.

Smart remarks aside...I'm happy the leadership is making an attempt (even if only superficial one) to de-gay AUAB a little. Chalk one up for the good ole boys.

HD

[BitteEinBit]

You opened up a can of worms with this thread!

I'll never forget the time at the Deid we were on ALPHA alert with the ALPHA alert van. Since we were on call for the quick takeoff, we considered ourselves "Emergency Response" and parked in front of the chow hall in the "Emergency response vehicles only" parking lot..which was completely empty by the way. No! No rational thinking allowed at the Deid. Wouldn't you know it, when we come back outside after our fine Deid dinner, the Security Forces managed to BOOT the vehicle because we weren't considered an emergency response vehicle. This was at the back end of a 120-day and I was already tired of the Deid BS anyway.

Long story short, I had a few choice words for the female LT who responded to my call to the LE desk to get the "F*cking boot off my van." She in turn informed me that I would get a citation and this incident would probably make the "police blotter" the next day. I responded by saying "Great, tell the whole base how the security forces contributed to the war effort by disabling the medevac aircrew alert vehicle," (in so many words) and that she can take the hit if we can't take off on time because our vehicle was disabled. I didn't get a citation and I don't think the incident ended up in the blotter.

I probably could have handled it better, but it was the END of my 120 day and that just took me over the edge. My understanding is that the sign in that parking lot now says "Emergency Response and Alert vehicles only..."

I like that quote TacAirCoug "Winning the war on terror, one reflective belt at a time"

[HuggyU2]

Buddy of mine is down the street at (base x) a few weeks back. He gets back from an 11 hour sortie, throws on a shirt with "VANS" written on it, along withthe Van's logo. Some unidentified dude stops him in the chow hall and tells him the logo is too large IAW Wing policy. Pilot informs him the logo is 2" tall (which ok), and that the word "VANS" is a "trademark", not a "logo", and he should learn the difference. They argue. Unidentified gent says the Chief wrote the new reg. Pilot tells him Chiefs don't write regs, offciers do. Finally, pilot asks this guy who he is, and he is a SMSgt. He runs off, cries to the Chief (who is watching from afar), and within 36 hours, the sq/cc is getting asked about it from the O-6 level.

We have GOT to take back control of the USAF from these idiots --- officers and enlisted alike. These stories paint a sad picture of what is going on.

Technique: when pulled aside by someone for some silly-ass infraction, get close, look them in the eye, and at the top of your lungs yell, "NOTED!". Very effective, I've found out.

[ 16. April 2006, 13:17: Message edited by: HerkDerka ]

[Herk Mafia]

This is the sh*t that other services make fun of us for.

[BitteEinBit]

Huggyu2, its amazing how that happens at EVERY base over there. I think I figured out why:

Most MAF aircrew, maintenance and other squadron support functions end up deploying outside of the AEF cycle. For instance, in the Herk community, it had been 4 on 4 off. The AEF weenies do 4 on 15 off (I think). They send three Chiefs per support function to manage that function, but once the function is set up, what else do they have to do?!?

I don't know about you guys, but when I wasn't flying, I was searching for things to do. Perhaps they do the same...and enforcing regs is probably all they can find to do. It's amazing how the people who spend 4 months of an AEF rotation in the desert are making all the rules for those who spend MOST of every year there.

I always thought it was funny how every 4 months we'd deploy to the desert and have to sit through the same personnel briefings as if it was the first time we ever deployed. Five years of this and we still don't have it quite right yet.

But...who am I. My only job is to fly the mission and play the "desert girlfriend" game....

[Guest thebronze]

Pilot tells him Chiefs don't write regs, offciers do. Finally, pilot asks this guy who he is, and he is a SMSgt. He runs off, cries to the Chief (who is watching from afar), and within 36 hours, the sq/cc is getting asked about it from the O-6 level.

He's lucky.

In my soon-to-be ex-sqdn the CC would try to Art. 15 him...

We have GOT to take back control of the USAF from these idiots --- officers and enlisted alike. These stories paint a sad picture of what is going on.

+ 1K

Too late though. The warrior culture in the AF is almost non-existent.

If you're not a "Shoe", you're not...

BTW, I've got a sweet patch that's very apropos nowadays (got it a long time ago from a Navy bud).

Its a black shoe w/ a red border and a red diagonal line through the shoe.

It means something entirely different in the Navy, but it now works for the AF.

"NO SHOES!"

[HuggyU2]

Johann,

Agree. We've got plenty of warrior enlisted/officers in the USAF. We just need to put THEM into the leadership roles at these deployed locations. I'd take my squadron's survival NCO over any officer in the non-support group if it came to a deployment,... POW situation,... or game of kickball. Ditto for the E-3 we have sitting behind the duty desk. Warriors, both of them.

[ 16. April 2006, 13:13: Message edited by: Huggyu2 ]

[Guest viper24]

So this is the AF I have to look forward to? Maybe Im just stuck in a dream here, but I remember all the stories I herd from my 2 bros and dad about how the AF was the greatest thing on earth. Parties with the bros and sis from work, ect ect. IMHO it seems that the AF has gone down the sh*tter with all this shoe clerk garbage. Im just a worthless ROTC puke right now but all the uniform regs and caring about worthless reflective belt crap has made its way into ROTC. What about the important stuff?

The stories about the Deid blow me (STS) away. There is a war going on, people being killed, destruction, and some people spend thier useless day worrying about reflective belts? YGTBFSM!

It MUST stop. For the love of God it must stop. I know I didnt sign the next 10 years of my life away to get my balls busted for not wearing a reflective belt. Will the AF ever be the same? How do we get the warrior spirit back?

OK, tangent over. Ill get off my soap box. All this shoe clerk crap I hear about and witness in ROTC just pisses me off. CHEERS to the few warriors left in the AF. Seems like you older flyers in here are the last of a dying breed. God Bless