Guest Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Straight from the desk of the worlds biggest shoe clerk, the third (and arguably most ridiculous) email sent by our newest CGOC President. Try not to puke: Come join me!!! Your CGOC is happy to buy the first couple of rounds, Thursday 30 Jul @ 1600. Location: O' Club bar. Occasion: THIRSTY THURSDAY! Guest speaker for this month is Col ### "###" ###, Commander of the XXXst Air Mobility Squadron. Come out and hear him explain: ~ Why AMC is the ONLY command with a real-world mission (AFSOC being a close second) ~ Why ACC in general and fighter pilots specifically are both HIGHLY overrated ~ What makes him single-handedly responsible for the AF's success in Iraq ~ How the C-130 provides better close air support than an A-10 (even on its best day!) And as a BONUS (for the non-mission focused): ~ How ROTC grads leave their Academy/OTS counterparts in the dust--EVERY DAY! ~ How much a stint at the AF Institute of Technology actually improves your golf game Looking for a good turnout from all of you dedicated professionals. Please use the voting buttons at the top left of this e-mail to let me know if I should expect you. Can't wait!!!! ~Vegas Hmmm. I think what we've got here is an example of a gal who couldn't get laid in high school. Then again, maybe she's right. Take stock of your lives, boys, and acknowledge the utter futility. Let's leave the difficult work to the real professionals. With warfighters like this doing the J-O-B, the rest of us can just take it easy sipping on our faggoty blue drinks and lamenting our small cocks. Unbelievable.
Mike Honcho Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I've got to hope it was an attempt at humor. Having said that, I think the LPA not flying on Friday needs to take this upon themselves (sts) to be there, as drunk as possible and heckle away.
Wolf424 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 No way she was serious. She must be making fun of said "guest speaker".
Rocker Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I agree - no way she was serious. I just can't imagine even a low/no-SA shoe clerk spewing that kind of shit talk. I think it's more likely that she left her ID card in the computer when she got up to go to the can or something.
Toro Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Totally agree this looks like sarcasm or somebody using her email, but...if you're a big enough douche to be the president of the CGOC, you're probably a big enough douche to send this as a serious email. Seems odd coming from somebody who has a call sign "Vegas"
Murph Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 There's some decent looking girls at our CGOC... still, I don't think I'll go back.
Hacker Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I think it's pretty funny, actually. C'mon, we bitch and moan every day that shoes are a bunch of lifeless drones who have no grasp on the reality of our mission...and one comes along with what appears to be a pretty good sense of humor that pokes right at the whole "mission" argument, and we bag on (her? I'm assuming that's her gender based on your post, Hoss). Although I think CGOC is pretty retarded, I'll admit that before I was an aviator I went to numerous CGOC events. The "community service" events and such were usually followed up by a bunch of Lts trying to recapture their college days through several cases of beer. It was fun, I have to admit.
slacker Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I agree - no way she was serious. I just can't imagine even a low/no-SA shoe clerk spewing that kind of shit talk. I think it's more likely that she left her ID card in the computer when she got up to go to the can or something. 2. This is definitely the kind of shit we'd send out when someone left their CAC in the computer.
Toro Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 On the subject of heinous CGOC emails, somebody gave me a great way to get your name taken off their email distro list. Apparently, he was on their distro and the CGOC president refused to remove his name (resulting in mass spam of CGOC events) because the pres felt that - as a fellow CGO, he was obligated to inform all CGOs of CGOC events. So one day he gets an email that details a CGOC get together in the club at 1700. 6-9 minutes later another CGOC email pops up and says that the club has a function at 1700 and the get-together will occur at 1730 6-9 minutes after another CGOC email pops up that says that the club function will not affect the CGOC function and the time is back to 1700. So this guy hits "Reply All" and writes, "Hey guys! Not gonna be able to make it tonight - I'm on the schedule to fly. Have a great time!" He waits 6-9 minutes, hits "Reply All" again and writes, "Hey guess what, my flight got cancelled and I'll be able to make it! See you all there!" He waits another 6-9 minutes, hits "Reply All" again and writes, "Oh bummer, they put me in a different sortie. Guess I'll have to catch you all another time." He sent another 3-4 messages in the same manner. Wouldn't you know it - next day he was off the distro list.
M2 Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 HOSS I think you need to go, and take your camera with you. This will be a monumental event, and needs to be documented for the world to see! Let this forum serve that purpose... Cheers! M2
08Dawg Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I hope this got sent as a joke, because if not, this dimwit needs to be slapped...multiple times. Of course, a colonel claiming to be single handedly responsible for the success of the war in Iraq is not outside the realm of possibility.
booze Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I've been saving this email chain for awhile, and it seems to be appropriate for this thread, so I'll remove the names and share. It was entertaining, but I don't recommend the "reply to all" button here. I heard these guys caught some trouble. CGOs, Just a reminder that tomorrow at 1600 at the Poly Bar in the O’Club, we will have our monthly CGOC meeting. Come hang out, have some cheap drinks, and free food. Who doesn’t love free food??? After the meeting at 1900 we will have our first social of the summer to celebrate our VP, XXXXX’s birthday!!! The location is “On the Border” on Broadway. If you have any questions or can’t make it to the meeting and want to give us some ideas/suggestions feel free to contact me. Hope to see you all tomorrow!!! XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, 2Lt, USAF Financial Services Flight Commander First reply to all... XXXX- 1) Don't email me. 2) Financial Services Flight Commander is not a real job. 3) You misspelled your name. Names like Brooke and Anne end w/ an e. If you insist, please try XXXXXX. 4) Consistent use of 3 punctuation marks does not reduce your annoying factor. 5) Don't email me!!! <NAME DELETED> Second reply to all... XXXXX, I have some news which might be of great interest to you... Capt XXXX of the ### Fighter Squadron, recently graduated #1 of his SOS class! Not #1 of his flight... #1 of the entire Blue Bedroom! What an accomplishment! I'm sure he'd be overjoyed at the opportunity to lead such a fine organization as the CGOC. He just might even be able discern which rung of Cog's Ladder you're currently on.... Recommend contacting him directly for mentoring. I'm sure he'd love to be the guest speaker at your monthly meeting! As for the rest of us fighter pilots, we'll have to take a rain-check on your birthday social.... it's Friday and we'll be in our bar. Please remove me from your gigantic spam list. Attack. <NAME DELETED>
Goblin Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I dont think the Services Lt was being dumb or whatever, it didn't seem like an annoying "shoeish" e-mail, I think what the pilots did in return was not needed. YMMV
Timbonez Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I dont think the Services Lt was being dumb or whatever, it didn't seem like an annoying "shoeish" e-mail, I think what the pilots did in return was not needed. YMMV The three punctuation thing is pretty annoying though.
Rocker Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I've been saving this email chain for awhile, and it seems to be appropriate for this thread, so I'll remove the names and share. It was entertaining, but I don't recommend the "reply to all" button here. I heard these guys caught some trouble. Yep, I remember that. A buddy of mine in the OSS gets the CGOC e-mails and forwarded this out. A little over the top if you ask me, but hilarious and apparently the FW/CC was less than impressed when word reached him. I volunteered for a one week all-expenses-paid vacation to Langley a few months ago to go to the CGOC national convention deal at Langley. I've never been a part of anything CGOC, but I figured, hey a free week out of the squadron. While there was no shortage of attractive women (which does me no good since I'm married), it was worthwhile to learn how the shoeclerks fight, what they know, how they think, and what their level of commitment is. Other than that, I had my rolled up flight suit sleeves pointed out by another Captain (female BDU-wearing type) in the hotel lobby, attended the lamest Dining Out ever and earned a shitload of Marriot Rewards points.
slacker Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 Bragging about SOS rank is cool. I want to be that guy.
HerkDerka Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 it was worthwhile to learn how the shoeclerks fight, what they know, how they think, and what their level of commitment is. That's the key right there. Good intel is how we're going to bring the shoe clerks' world crashing down around them. However, getting that intel requires actually going to CGOC meetings and avoiding putting a pencil through your left eye. That's a serious grenade to jump on. HD
Ram Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 I had my rolled up flight suit sleeves pointed out by another Captain (female BDU-wearing type) in the hotel lobby. BDU wearers can eat shit if they want to criticize me for wearing my sleeves up. I roll them down before stepping to the jet. Unless they're an O-6, higher ranking flier, or someone who just saw the OG/CC walk into the squadron and wants to keep me from getting yelled-at, my reply is always a standard "NOTED" with all the fucking sarcasm I can muster.
Whitman Posted July 23, 2009 Posted July 23, 2009 On the subject of heinous CGOC emails, somebody gave me a great way to get your name taken off their email distro list. Apparently, he was on their distro and the CGOC president refused to remove his name (resulting in mass spam of CGOC events) because the pres felt that - as a fellow CGO, he was obligated to inform all CGOs of CGOC events. So one day he gets an email that details a CGOC get together in the club at 1700. 6-9 minutes later another CGOC email pops up and says that the club has a function at 1700 and the get-together will occur at 1730 6-9 minutes after another CGOC email pops up that says that the club function will not affect the CGOC function and the time is back to 1700. So this guy hits "Reply All" and writes, "Hey guys! Not gonna be able to make it tonight - I'm on the schedule to fly. Have a great time!" He waits 6-9 minutes, hits "Reply All" again and writes, "Hey guess what, my flight got cancelled and I'll be able to make it! See you all there!" He waits another 6-9 minutes, hits "Reply All" again and writes, "Oh bummer, they put me in a different sortie. Guess I'll have to catch you all another time." He sent another 3-4 messages in the same manner. Wouldn't you know it - next day he was off the distro list. Great story Toro! This is almost as good as Seinfeld's response to telemarketers that call during dinner.
slacker Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 (edited) fury- dig the new avatar- funny stuff. edit- spellin Edited July 24, 2009 by slacker
Clayton Bigsby Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 meh, let the nerds have their fun, she's got a sense of humor and you're apparently not in the mood. try to not take yourself so seriously...why so serious?
Guest Smoke_Jaguar4 Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Vegas needs put down the soju, then she needs to get laid. OTOH, CGOC may be lame but you never know when it could be useful. For example, being buddy-buddy with the 2Lt Finance Flt/CC may come in handy when you need to unfukc a travel voucher.
Champ Kind Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 Vegas needs put down the soju, then she needs to get laid. OTOH, CGOC may be lame but you never know when it could be useful. For example, being buddy-buddy with the 2Lt Finance Flt/CC may come in handy when you need to unfukc a travel voucher. Or get your jollies off, in this case.
contraildash Posted July 24, 2009 Posted July 24, 2009 How much caffeine/crack does this "Vegas" chick take very day? Either she was the head camp counselor at gay ass kumbaya summer camp and that shit carried over into her AF career, or this chick hates her job and oozes sarcasm like some sort of foul vaginal discharge.
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