Classic Thread - Security Forces (SFS) Tales

[TreeA10]

They don't train those guys to exercise judgement. Years ago, I'm going through the crash school at Norton (yes, a long time ago) and I'm out for a run. I've run the perimeter of the base and was heading back to the Q's when a security police car passes me, cuts in front of me, and a dude jumps out with a shotgun and levels it at me. I am armed with a running tank top, shorts, and New Balance shoes. Idiot. I was not detained and allowed to go on my way shortly thereafter. In a heated discussion with the desk sergeant later, I was told somebody stole something from the BX. Lucky them, it I wanted it, it would be on the truck coming Tuesday.

[gimmeaplane]

Wow...has it been two years since somebody had a SFS story?

Air Force security holds granny at gunpoint at Wright Patterson

They're not skycop stories anymore if it's all rent-a-cops.

[sky_king]

They don't train those guys to exercise judgement. Years ago, I'm going through the crash school at Norton (yes, a long time ago) and I'm out for a run. I've run the perimeter of the base and was heading back to the Q's when a security police car passes me, cuts in front of me, and a dude jumps out with a shotgun and levels it at me. I am armed with a running tank top, shorts, and New Balance shoes. Idiot. I was not detained and allowed to go on my way shortly thereafter. In a heated discussion with the desk sergeant later, I was told somebody stole something from the BX. Lucky them, it I wanted it, it would be on the truck coming Tuesday.

Another reason to spend as little time on-base as possible. It's not worth the risk doing whatever it is you want to do if it's possible in a civilian setting.

[sputnik]

I was out for a jog one lovely morning on Laughlin AFB. I hear a shout and turn around. There's a seriously out of breath cop yelling me over.

I'm of the darker persuasion....he saw me running along the fence line and thought I was a border crosser.

Thank god he didn't have a dog.

[Crewdog135]

Ok, I'll play. About 8 years ago at the Died a buddy of mine is taxiing out of the secure ramp (RC-135). Cop car screeches in front of the aircraft, lights flashing, and young skycop levels his rifle at the cockpit. Yep, the jet broke red!

You can't make this stuff up....

[guineapigfury]

So there I was; taxiing a KC-135 at Osan. A solitary white pick-up blocks our path. I taxi closer and the pick-up remains. We come to a stop, well clear and begin flashing the landing light. Still nothing. Suddenly, another white pickup zooms into view and a SF dude sprints out toward the stopped vehicle. He opens the door, at which point the clearly bewildered occupant starts flailing wildly as his dreams of sugar plums, soju and juicy girls have been cruelly interrupted. Moral of the story: the taxiway is not for naptimes.

[Vice]

At the Sheppard golf course late at night with a female. Both of us were in tech school so you can guess where things were going when all of a sudden SF man steps out of the shadows like 006 in Goldeneye, NVGs in hand and a smirk on his face. His buddy rolls up in his car and they have a chat with us. Cockblocked by SF but got to see through NVGs for the first time in my life, pretty cool.

[Ram]

At the Sheppard golf course late at night with a female. Both of us were in tech school so you can guess where things were going when all of a sudden SF man steps out of the shadows like 006 in Goldeneye, NVGs in hand and a smirk on his face. His buddy rolls up in his car and they have a chat with us. Cockblocked by SF but got to see through NVGs for the first time in my life, pretty cool.

Yeah, that seems like a good use of time and government resources.

[HossHarris]

For fucks sake get a room and the activities between two consenting adults won't be interrupted.

[Techsan]

So there I was; taxiing a KC-135 at Osan. A solitary white pick-up blocks our path. I taxi closer and the pick-up remains. We come to a stop, well clear and begin flashing the landing light. Still nothing. Suddenly, another white pickup zooms into view and a SF dude sprints out toward the stopped vehicle. He opens the door, at which point the clearly bewildered occupant starts flailing wildly as his dreams of sugar plums, soju and juicy girls have been cruelly interrupted. Moral of the story: the taxiway is not for naptimes.

Shit happened all the time @ Dhafra on the ramp. We would get right on his ass, flash the taxi light, & spool the engines up a bit in order to roust him. Seriously dude, if you want to catch some shut eye do it off of the route in/out of the parking area. Smart ones they are.

[Azimuth]

Normally if they're caught by their leadership for sleeping on post that's and automatic Art 15 for dereliction of duty.

[Majestik Møøse]

The UCMJ actually allows for them to be executed.

https://usmilitary.about.com/library/milinfo/mcm/bl113.htm

[SocialD]

For fucks sake get a room and the activities between two consenting adults won't be interrupted.

Not that easy when you're going through an enlisted tech school. When I went through, you couldn't get off base privileges for quite a while, and sneaking a chick into your dorm room was some mission impossible type shit. Had a buddy try to get a room at the Inn and got turned in by the staff after they asked for his phase card. You'd be amazed at some of the places people got busted doing it at Sheppard. Having said that, I opted for the mission impossible route...luckily never got caught.

Edited April 17, 2014 by SocialD

[10percenttruth]

Or just bang an ENJPPT stud in their dorm, I'm sure that's been pressed-to-test before.

[contraildash]

Buddy just told me that his wife and car full of kids was stopped at the gate after they had thier ID's checked in order to act as a block to the car behind them. Great idea, let's use a car full of kids as a roadblock at the gate....

[Hodor]

They were doing that here...Only they were using a motorcyclist. That would have been effective.

[guineapigfury]

Buddy just told me that his wife and car full of kids was stopped at the gate after they had thier ID's checked in order to act as a block to the car behind them. Great idea, let's use a car full of kids as a roadblock at the gate....

This happened to me multiple times at the back gate at Holloman, except there was no car behind me. Random Anti-terrorism Measure or some such nonsense. I asked how long I would be waiting there and was told "until the next car". Fucking retards.

[sky_king]

That's no different than closing every gate into a base for 4 hours for an exercise. I get it, you need to show that you can stop traffic in and out of the base and secure it. Why can't they just roll the gates shut for 69 seconds, re-open them and slap a piece of paper with "SIM CLOSED" on it? We simulate everything else for God's sake and the guards were just standing there looking at the cars. This happened at Laughlin with my wife and 1 month old daughter stuck 3 cars from the front of the line.

[sputnik]

One day they were checking insurance. As I was on a bike this involved a little work (I keep it under the seat). When I asked why I was told it was a RAM.

I didn't know terrorists couldn't get insurance.

[guineapigfury]

One day they were checking insurance. As I was on a bike this involved a little work (I keep it under the seat). When I asked why I was told it was a RAM.

I didn't know terrorists couldn't get insurance.

Pretty sure they get the Jihadi equivalent of USAA. You get a generous family discount on your camel policy, but hut owner's insurance doesn't cover suicide vest-related mishaps. Also, excellent customer service, so you never have to say Derka-Derka to a machine.

[Guest]

A couple weeks ago the gate guard wouldn't let me on base at Randolph as my Texas safety inspection sticker was out of date. Solution: turn around and pick a different entry lane/guard.

When I was at the zoo I got stopped at the gate once for RAM and was told he needed to inspect my car. The Airman said "I'm going to start by giving your vehicle a reacharound." After much laughter from my friends and I, he embarrassedly told us "never mind, you can go."

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ElLoco]

A couple weeks ago the gate guard wouldn't let me on base at Randolph as my Texas safety inspection sticker was out of date. Solution: turn around and pick a different entry lane

Done this one a few times myself

[one1]

A few months ago I was helping organize a car show at a recreational camp that was sponsored by the Air Force. The recreational area is owned by the Air Force but it is open to the public. You do not need an ID to get in. The day before the event the "anti-terrorism" representative told me the following.

Anti-terrorism representative: Since you have so many vehicles coming on to the camp, you have to search every vehicles trunk coming to the car show.

Me: This won't be possible because 6 volunteers are running the entire car show and a few thousand people are expected to show up.

Anti-terrorism representative: In that case, just inspect the cars that are going to be participants in the car show so you only have to inspect around100 cars.

Me: Do you think terrorists are going to enter a car in the car show? What are we even looking for in the trunks of muscle cars?

Anti-terrorism representative: Illegal weapons, hidden bombs....that sort of thing.

Me: How will my crack team of volunteer A1Cs and Junior ROTC cadets be able to know if the weapons are illegal? What does a hidden bomb look like?

Anti-terrorism representative: If you don't search the trunks of the vehicles I can have security forces shut down the car show for not following regulations.

Me: Can security forces search the vehicles?

Anti-terrorism representative: They don't have time to waste at car shows.

Me: Then how can they shut down the car show?

We ended up searching the trunks. Not one participant had a single thing in their classic car. All the trunks were completely empty. I can't believe the Air Force is paying this guy to be an "Anti-terrorism" representative. He is a GS-13.

Edited April 18, 2014 by one1

[HerkFE]

"A couple weeks ago the gate guard wouldn't let me on base at Randolph as my Texas safety inspection sticker was out of date. Solution: turn around and pick a different entry lane/guard."

My first assignment in 1989 was NAS Oceana. Virginia had a state inspection. I rolled up to the gate having been in the state for a total of about 2.5 hours since crossing the state line and the gate guard said "Where's your state inspection sticker?" To which I replied "I'm from Alabama and we don't have a state inspection." He said that I had to have a Virginia state inspection sticker to get on base. I informed him that I had been in the state for all of 2.5 hours and proceeded to point out all of my $hit packed in the bed and front seat of my truck. He told me that he would "let it slide this time" but that he would remember my vehicle and wouldn't be so nice the next time. True fvcking story.

BTW, I know VA is a commonwealth, not a state, Just pre-empting the Nerds/Navigators correcting me.

Edited April 18, 2014 by HerkFE

[stract]

if you didn't have VA license plates, you should have told him to fuck off.