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Yet another Poser...this time pretending to be a Two Star

ClearedHot

By ClearedHot
in Squadron Bar

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GovernmentMan Crew Dawg

GovernmentMan

Posted
Posted

If he had just worn sloppy ABUs, a gold oak leaf and a medical badge, nobody would have paid him any mind. But no...he just had to go in service dress as a 2*

  • Upvote 2
Masshole Gray Beard

Masshole

Posted
Posted
The most serious charge, entry by false pretenses to real property of the United States with the intent to commit a felony, carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison, a $250,000 fine, or both.

It would have been cheaper to move to New Hampshire.

Vicious3027 SNAP

Vicious3027

Posted
Posted

"...carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison, a $250,000 fine, or both."

$62 worth of tax-free groceries just got a hell of a lot more expensive!

  • Upvote 1
Masshole Gray Beard

Masshole

Posted
Posted

Somehow the $5 he probably saved in taxes was worth the hundreds of dollars he probably spent creating his fake credentials and purchasing the uniform.

sky_king Gray Beard

sky_king

Posted
Posted

The problem is, he still had to pay the 5% surcharge and probably had to tip the baggers. Unless he bought $62 worth of meat, it would probably still be cheaper at the grocery store.

GovernmentMan Crew Dawg

GovernmentMan

Posted
Posted

Maybe he just gets a thrill out of tipping middle-age Asian ladies. I somehow doubt there any many opportunities to do so off-post in Southern Arizona.

  • 8 months later...
Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Too bad there wasn't an E-9 around...what with those sleeves rolled up.

Stitch Gray Beard

Stitch

Posted
Posted

If he had just worn sloppy ABUs, a gold oak leaf and a medical badge, nobody would have paid him any mind. But no...he just had to go in service dress as a 2*

That ain't no lie...

bfargin Gray Beard

bfargin

Posted
Posted

I wonder whether anyone ever impersonates being a member of TIB?

Steve I tried that but I got tired of having to sign autographs everywhere I went.

  • Upvote 2
SuperWSO Flight Lead

SuperWSO

Posted
Posted

Dude is so dumb he can't even count to two...single star on those ABUs, 2-star on his "business card." :banghead:

Maybe he was frocked? If not, he's definitely frocked now that he's been caught. Frock YOU!

Swizzle Gray Beard

Swizzle

Posted
Posted (edited)

Dude is so dumb he can't even count to two...single star on those ABUs, 2-star on his "business card." :banghead:

No....one star on each lapel = two........duh!

buddy-jesus.jpg

Edited by Swizzle
Catbox Flight Lead

Catbox

Posted
Posted (edited)

Dude is so dumb he can't even count to two...single star on those ABUs, 2-star on his "business card." :banghead:

Well, in his defense he was only "recently" promoted. The seamstress probably didn't work as fast as the print shop.

Maybe he was frocked? If not, he's definitely frocked now that he's been caught. Frock YOU!

Ok it took me two times to get this and all I have to say is boooooo. Great pun.

Edited by Catbox
Rusty Pipes Flight Lead

Rusty Pipes

Posted
Posted (edited)

What the hell... I say we give the guy a shot! We've had so many Generals being outright imposters actually pretending to be leaders lately that this guy probably couldn't do much worse!!! "Wait... why would I want you to get a Masters degree if your job is to fly an airplane? Hey guys, why are we kicking out pilots or sending them to meaningless staff jobs when we spent millions of dollars training them and we have a pilot shortage?!?" This guy might actually fix stuff!!!

Edited by Rusty Pipes
  • Upvote 1
M2 Gray Beard

M2

Posted
Posted

And yet ANOTHER Douche...

"When he lived in Las Vegas, Jacob R. Cruze used fake military documents to obtain license plates reserved for wounded Nevada war veterans."

https://www.lvrj.com/...-143287936.html

6845780-0-4.jpg

Those front teeth are worthy of the 'WTF?!?' thread!

Infamous Crew Dawg

Infamous

Posted
Posted (edited)

If he had just worn sloppy ABUs, a gold oak leaf and a medical badge, nobody would have paid him any mind. But no...he just had to go in service dress as a 2*

hahaha so true.

I'll never forget the time at OTS when I was an OT and saluted a 1LT going through the medical/lawyer/chaplain version of OTS... 4 of us were marching and I was carrying a guidon, I saluted and gave her the greeting of the day. I got a guidon salute back (she wasn't carrying a guidon) from her with the response "Good afternoon... sirs." :airman:

Edited by Infamous
guineapigfury Gray Beard

guineapigfury

Posted
Posted

hahaha so true.

I'll never forget the time at OTS when I was an OT and saluted a 1LT going through the medical/lawyer/chaplain version of OTS... 4 of us were marching and I was carrying a guidon, I saluted and gave her the greeting of the day. I got a guidon salute back (she wasn't carrying a guidon) from her with the response "Good afternoon... sirs." :airman:

Here are my 2 favorites from OTS. We were marching to class, probably on the exact same sidewalk, and here comes this chubby major, with half his front shirt untucked. We were almost late so there is nothing to do but salute and say "Good Morning Sir!", he responds with no salute and a "Hi Guys!" Number 2 is the first day for the new batch of COT(OTS for Chaplains, Lawyers, Docs) after we'd been there 6-7 weeks. I enter the latrine and there is a new guy in there in a state of utter confusion. He has his canteen belt on upside down and is trying to get his canteen in there, being defeated by gravity each time. I helpfully point out that he has his belt on upside down, thus resolving the situation. 2 days later I see this dude in the hallway wearing LtCol rank. Hope he's better at being a surgeon than getting dressed.

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