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Posted (edited)

The results are in.

32,000 inappropriate items uncovered.

As expected, nose art was one of the items. As was a cover of the AF Times. And somebody's copy of 50 shades of grey.

For once in my life, I actually with the folks posting in the comment section of the article. Seems like a lot of folks need to get a grip.

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Edit: Typing at the same time as magnetfreezer

Edited by Toro
Posted
The list of everything seized is finally out: https://militarytimes.com/projects/air/health-welfare-findings. Good to see, among other things, we're protecting the AF from multiple instances of nose art, Avenger comic books, and guys with pictures on their desks of wives in swimsuits at the beach or "Photos of individual with wife/girlfriend (no nudity)".

I can't have a picture of my wife and me? Now I'm fucking offended!

  • Upvote 1
Posted (edited)

"mistake" awards

Heritage Mural

religious photo

Porta-Potty

Derogatory call signs

framed photo - 1940's era Nose Art From Aircraft

Links on computer to potential inappropriate websites

Sexually suggestive magazine (Men's Health)

Rolling Stone Magazine

Crud Rules - Inappropriate lexicon past 45 degrees Submitted to JAG

'Ken' doll dressed only in swim trunks

"PG-13" rated movies

AF Times Front Page (Female Airmen breastfeeding)

bottle of alcohol

Now a few from the WTF file:

Pubic hair in logbook

Meth

Used Condom

Edited by drewpey
Posted

And we have officially jumped the shark. No longer allowed vacation pictures of your own wives and girlfriends. Someone start gathering boxes, we need to start packing up and cleaning out.

Posted (edited)
PACAF Squadron Inappropriate/Offensive 10 "Mermaid" beer mugs with nude female torso handles Sq heritage room Removed/returned to owners

OMG mermaid handle beer mugs!!!! This will single handedly stop 6-9 rapes this year...

PACAF Squadron Inappropriate/Offensive 1 Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Poster Squadron Lounge

Removed

This is hypocritical considering the military is cool with the USO bringing them over to the AOR for morale...

USAF ALL MAJCOMS MORALE SQUASHED & REMOVED

They forgot this one!

These people have lost their minds! Soon, our thoughts will be monitored while at work, and anything remotely sexual will be censored, so you don't even think it. Also, from here on out, while in active service, sex will be allowed for procreation only and in the missionary position.

Edited by SocialD
Posted

Some of my favorites:

AETC 2 Wine Glasses

AETC 1 Beer Sign

AETC 1 'Pimp Cup'

AETC 1 Rubber dog feces (because dog poop is so offensive)

AFGSC 2 Esquire and Cosmopolitan Magazines Women's bathroom (eww)

AMC 1 GQ Magazine advertisements with women in their underwear

AMC 1 Viagra clock

AMC 3 R-Rated Movies

AMC Sticker 'Romney, Believe in America'

AMC 1 "Don't be a dick" sticker

PACAF 2 Fitness Magazines (no wonder why the AF has so many fatties)

PACAF Non AF Screen Saver (so very offensive!)

PACAF Hula girl doll

PACAF Approx 20 "Men's Health," "Men's Fitness," "Runners," "Running World," "Bicycling" and "Tri-Athlete" magazines with a male, a female, or a male and female cover photo.

PACAF 1 Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Opener

PACAF 1 Photo of two people in MOPP gear, one behind the other in a potentially compromising position

Posted

PACAF 1 Photo of two people in MOPP gear, one behind the other in a potentially compromising position

I think that may have been a secret FU to the inspectors.

Win.

  • Upvote 2
Posted (edited)

There are some good ones in there.

Ceiling Tiles - scantly clad animal mascot

Comic Strip with offensive language (one stormtrooper calls another a "douche.")

Edited by Jaded
Posted

Phew! Good thing I quietly took mine home from my desk before this all went down...

That would be my squadron, I believe they confiscated the dildo bottle opener as well (which the group commander's wife used at the bar to open her hard cider and thought was hilarious.)

Posted

That would be my squadron, I believe they confiscated the dildo bottle opener as well (which the group commander's wife used at the bar to open her hard cider and thought was hilarious.)

Well played sir...my squadron didn't have anything nearly as hilariously "offensive" confiscated during the great Professionalism Witch Hunt of 2012. My hat's off to you guys, rock on out there with your genital-inspired beer opening devies.

Posted

That would be my squadron, I believe they confiscated the dildo bottle opener as well (which the group commander's wife used at the bar to open her hard cider and thought was hilarious.)

The ones they sell in Chania?

Posted

I can only imagine what the public thinks. This worked out well for the AF PR wise...

If you MUST decorate your cubicle with pictures - maybe stick with stuff along the lines of:

Pictures from https://www.af.mil/photos/index.asp - to be safe stick with non-historical pictures so you don't run into any questionable wartime nose-art etc...

"Inspirational" material from https://sos.maxwell.af.mil/ or https://acsc.maxwell.af.mil/ dependent on your career development.

Or maybe something from https://www.afsec.af.mil/organizations/education/medialibrary.asp - because safety is everyones responsibility.

Posted (edited)

Pictures from https://www.af.mil/photos/index.asp - to be safe stick with non-historical pictures so you don't run into any questionable wartime nose-art etc...

No, many of those photos are unprofessional due to the depiction of implements of violence that could be used to discriminate against terrorists.

Edited by HU&W
Posted

Didn't actually think the article was that bad once it got down into what was rated "offensive" and all that. Unfortunately most people will only read the beginning.

I mean.. who doesn't love a shirtless Tom Brady picture. I'm surprised how much real dirt you guys got busted with. Us nerds will continue to hide our porn effectively.

Posted

Leadership..."go out to the Wizard RSU, bring a backpack and bring back all those magazines and shit you guys keep out there"

Us..."Sir, we'll bring two backpacks"

Posted

Wow, those rules are worse than the AUAB's. If you can buy a Maxim in the BX, but it's not allowed on base, how do you get it home? Are you even allowed to look at it in the store?

I still don't understand why we can't call the Deid's Memorial Plaza by it's nickname "The BRA", but they have been playing Magic Mike twice a day for the past 3 months.

  • Upvote 1
Posted

A bunch of those say desk drawer or similar areas where there is a reasonable expectation of privacy and was specifically excluded from search by the SecDef letter. Sounds like OSI should be investigating the inspectors as well.

Posted

A bunch of those say desk drawer or similar areas where there is a reasonable expectation of privacy and was specifically excluded from search by the SecDef letter. Sounds like OSI should be investigating the inspectors as well.

It's a witch hunt dude, there are no rules other than find some damn witches.

Posted

It's a witch hunt dude, there are no rules other than find some damn witches.

Friday patches are the new scarlet letter?

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