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Posted

"I want to die while I'm asleep just like my Grandfather; not screaming and yelling like his passengers"

  • Upvote 2
Posted

Sticking with the Nav theme...

Two Navs walk up to a machine that is dispensing pilot wings. The wings cost 0.50, and each Nav has only a quarter. They discuss it, and determine that they're going to each put in a quarter, and they will take turns with the wings.

They each put in a quarter, turn the knob (sts), and the wings pop out. The first Nav takes the wings, pins them to his chest, and struts around proudly. After 6-9 minutes, the second Nav jealously says, "All right, that's enough...my turn," to which the winged gent says, "FUCK YOU NAV!"

  • Upvote 5
Posted

What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?

Both of their biggest hits were The Wall.

Posted

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neal Armstrong?

Neal Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon...

and Michael Jackson raped little boys.

  • Upvote 2
Posted

How do you get two navs into a fist fight?

Ask them what time it is.

Disclaimer: The preceding was an archaic joke that may not be comprehended by the iphone/GPS generation. For additional clarification please ask someone over the age of 45.

  • Upvote 3
Posted

How do you know when there's a pilot at a party?

He'll tell you

How do you know when there's a nav at a party?

Trick question, navs don't get invited to parties.

  • Upvote 1
Posted

Two guys are wrapping up a long night of drinking and are discussing their personal lives.

"Let me ask you something..... do you talk to your wife after sex?"

The other guy thinks for a second and replies, "That depends, am I near a phone?"

Posted

I always laugh at this one....

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration. The FAA examiner arrived for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and put his flying skills to the test.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

“What's that for?” asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, “I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time,” as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, “but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff.”

  • Upvote 1
Posted

I always laugh at this one....

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration. The FAA examiner arrived for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and put his flying skills to the test.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

“What's that for?” asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, “I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time,” as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, “but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff.”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=50vE47DGEy4&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D50vE47DGEy4

Posted

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a Porsche? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Porsche.

What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? "I just got laid and you expect me to get hard in five minutes?"

Posted

Say hi to Chris Harrison for me.

It's Chris Hansen...and you know him? From that time you had brought the 12 pack of Bud Light & box of condoms over to that "18 year old's" house?

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