keallyn Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Hey everyone, So my boyfriend is in the process of getting to UPT for the Air National Guard. He leaves Feb 2015 to either Columbus(9 hours away) or Vance (5 hours away). My question is if I should go with him. Some back ground, we have been together for 4.5 years. Met in college and then did a long distance relationship for a year while I finished school. I'm a pediatric registered nurse and have a wonderful job (2 yrs experience). I know I could find a job in either place but it just may not be as great as the one I have now, but it is just a year. I'm not a huge fan of long distance relationships but I know it is doable because we have done it before. I know he will be very busy, I have read tons of forums from other spouses/girlfriends already. :) I'm just curious if it is worth going with him or if I should just wait for that year to be over? I want to be there to support him but I also don't want to take away from the experience he will get. I also know the chance of us living together are very, very slim from what I've read. I feel like I could go on and on about the pros and cons of going but I would like to hear from other peoples experience. Thanks for listening, Keally
ARIs 'R' Us Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 1. Go with him, it's better to be with a significant other than without there. 2. Get married (JoP if you want to wait for a real wedding) so you can use his benefits, get free healthcare, and make a lot more money as a dependent. Or breakup...but you should know by now after 4.5 years Posted from the NEW Baseops.net App! 2
matmacwc Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) Dump the bum, contact vivid entertainment, enjoy glamor and money for the next 5 years. Here is your link. https://members.vividcammodels.com/join/ Edited July 21, 2014 by matmacwc 3
guineapigfury Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 If you're in a good job at the place you'll be staying permanently, giving it up is probably suboptimal. Unless you two are going to get married PRIOR to UPT, stay put.
gucci Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 So you want to pack up and move at max 9 hours away. To live with a guy that is gonna be super busy for a year. Quit your job and find a new one. All to eventually come right back to where you already are in a year? My advise...stay put. There are enough 3-4 day weekends to justify taking a 9 hour roadtrip. If he gets Vance, even better. 1
keallyn Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 Well I actually will not be going back to the same place afterwards. We will be moving to where he will be based at which is in a different city so I'll be applying to the children's hospital in that city. So it was either leave a year early or wait it out. My thing is I do have times where I can get a week off at a time but if he is to busy if I was to move there to do much, I feel like it would be worse if I was visiting. I don't know though. You can see I'm kinda biased towards going as of now. But the comments really do help and give me more to think about.
HeyWatchThis Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) 4.5 yrs? Someone needs to tell your boyfriend to $%$& or get off the pot I just finished up UPT earlier this year, I will admit that I appreciated having my wife/kiddo there with me. If your boyfriend went to a real college (which being in the ANG I'm pretty sure he did) then he had all "experiences" that he is going to have at UPT. The only difference is that unique bond that can happen in the military from going thru the same (sorta) miserable process together. He will have a great time whether you go or not but I can speak from experience it was fantastic having someone who wasn't part of the process to come home to and just talk about anything BUT flying (FYI: be patient with him because his brain will be wired to talk about flying way. to. much.) But seriously 4.5 yrs? Edited July 22, 2014 by HeyWatchThis
HossHarris Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 A lot of hot chicks prowling around looking for a way out of Columbus and Enid .....
ARIs 'R' Us Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 A lot of desperate creatures prowling around looking for a way out of Columbus and Enid ..... FIFY Posted from the NEW Baseops.net App! 2
Edwarkl Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Well I actually will not be going back to the same place afterwards. We will be moving to where he will be based at which is in a different city so I'll be applying to the children's hospital in that city. So it was either leave a year early or wait it out. My thing is I do have times where I can get a week off at a time but if he is to busy if I was to move there to do much, I feel like it would be worse if I was visiting. I don't know though. You can see I'm kinda biased towards going as of now. But the comments really do help and give me more to think about. At first I was going to suggest that you stay put, but since you are not returning to your current location I suggest going with him. I did not go to UPT with my boyfriend (now husband) but he was about 4 hours away and I saw him almost every weekend. It worked out fine for us, but it would have been nice to be there too. My main decision driver is my career. I'm in marketing so I need consistency and advancement with good companies to achieve my goals. I think nursing might be a little different. Don't count on being able to find a job at his pilot training location though. You might want to consider if you can financially handle not working. My husband was in UPT about 10 years ago and he was able to live off base at Columbus after the first 6 months. If you all are interested in eventually getting married it would be a lot easier if you moved that up. Like someone else said you can just do a JOP wedding and plan the big one later. I know many people who have done this including myself. You will be able to live together and have easier access to base. I'm pretty sure he can live with you off base no matter what but he just won't get BAH because he'll have a place on base. You might want to look into that. He will also be very busy so you will probably want to be able to meet up with the other spouses for social events. It's not impossible to do so as a civilian though. You would just need someone to sponsor you on. So, I think you should go if you can handle it financially and are not worried about not having easy access to the base. However, I might suggest waiting a little bit. If things are still the same as they were 10 years ago the second half of UPT is a little less demanding and he might be able to collect BAH and live off base. Do you know what type of plane he will fly?
disgruntledemployee Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 If he's the one, go. Family first is not just a motto, its a happy way of life. If you can't make this decision on a snap, then maybe he's not the one. What I'm saying is that you should already know the answer and depending on an internet forum for advice will lead you to apply to places like Vivid (see post 4). Now go pack your bags.
Steve Davies Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 If there was ever a valid 'pictures or it didn't happen' response, this is it. I should clear something up and brag obnoxiously before I get in trouble. I made a joke of it, but we're still happily married 17 years later. We had 11 addresses in the first 10 years of AD, lots of TDYs and deployments while she raised the kids. But she's not your average fragile woman. She's the kind of woman who will wake up, work out, tag and castrate a new calf in the morning, teach a full day of school, come home run a Case 2096 and 15' batwing mower while I take a break and take the kids to practice, have an amazing homemade beef risotto waiting when we get back, and look hot while doing it all. Military life was always a minor inconvenience at worst. Your results may vary, but UPT was a great start for us. 2
brabus Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 15' batwing mower What the fuck is Mrs. Gearpig into? Nice...
Lawman Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 A lot of "women" prowling around looking for a way out of Every shitty town outside every US Military post on Earth..... Fixed it for you. Quotes because I've been to what used to be Clark AFB.
keallyn Posted August 29, 2014 Author Posted August 29, 2014 Gearpig thanks for clearing that up for me. I didn't even know what to say back to that. I'm glad to hear y'all have been together for 17 years Edwardl- He will be flying the c130. He just finished his FC-1 physical and passed. I'm thinking about doing travel nursing and hope to find a job that way. At first when he find out he got the pilot slot do the air national guard I didn't know it was possible to follow him or that it was an option. When we started to talk about it and it was option I knew I wanted to go and be there for support for UPT. We have talked more about it and as of now I'm planning on going in February with him.
Fuzz Posted September 2, 2014 Posted September 2, 2014 (edited) There are Herk drivers here that can provide more details but watching several friends that went the Herk route it took them about 2-2.5 years from showing up at a UPT Base to getting to their final base. The guard and reserve guys moved through the post-UPT training a little quicker but you are still looking at a year for UPT, a month for Water Survival & SERE and then another six months for C-130 school. That doesn't include downtime before and after UPT, and the move from UPT bases to Little Rock. Also I don't know your situation but to echo the other guys 4.5 years and there's not a ring involved seems ridiculous. He's about to make a big career decision and move to another city, but hey you two are adults and capable of your own decisions. ETA: spelling is hard Edited September 2, 2014 by Fuzz
keallyn Posted March 25, 2016 Author Posted March 25, 2016 I just want to say that I ended up coming with him and am very glad I did. I got a great job and we have been planning a wedding for when we get back home. I'm glad I got to be a part of this with him and help support him during it. Thanks everyone for your input. 1
Duck Posted March 25, 2016 Posted March 25, 2016 Congrats! It is a tough road ahead and UPT is just the beginning. My advice is to get plugged in wherever you all live, doesn't have to be at the base with base wives, just somewhere you feel comfortable and people you trust. The real work starts now, deployments, TDYs, missing birthdays, holidays and anniversaries. Be understanding and realize that this too will end one day. His Air Force career will be over and it's really up to both of you to decide if you are gonna stick it out together or just be another AF statistic of a broken marriage. Tell him I said to always make sure he puts his family above the Air Force (there is a line for the stuff you have to do versus chasing the carrot). Trust him that he has your best interests at heart and be there for him and support him on those tough days. Bottom line, be honest with each other and keep the communication open. 2
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