UPT weekends home?

[Rhade]

I have been selected for a UPT slot with an ANG unit.  I am trying to make the difficult decision of whether or not to seize this opportunity.  In other circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to jump right in and sign the paperwork.  However my fiance (together 10 years) is a type 1 diabetic and has numerous health problems.  She is still young/healthy enough that she can take care of herself for the most part, but I would like to be there as much as possible for emotional support and she would stay behind if I left to support us financially as an engineer.

So my question is how reasonable would it be to expect to fly home on weekends while at UPT.  Again I would be in UPT as a member of the ANG so I would not be competing for my aircraft assignment.  I would love to hear from you guys who went through the UPT process.  Follow up question, how long is the gap between UPT and RTU (C-130s), out of curiosity?

[hispeed7721]

Big question is where do you live and what base are you attending UPT at?

If it's more than a couple hours each way, I'd say it's not impossible but horribly unrealistic.

For ANG/AFR guys, it's usually less than a week from UPT graduation to RTU start, whereas AD is as much as 6 months

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[Rhade]

 

17 minutes ago, hispeed7721 said:

 

Big question is where do you live and what base are you attending UPT at?

 

If it's more than a couple hours each way, I'd say it's not impossible but horribly unrealistic.

 

For ANG/AFR guys, it's usually less than a week from UPT graduation to RTU start, whereas AD is as much as 6 months

 

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I haven't been assigned yet, but all of the UPT bases are about a 2.5 hour flight from home.  I haven't accepted the pilot slot yet, so I haven't been assigned.  What makes it unrealistic?  If we can swing the cost of plane tickets (we can I believe), I figured I could study on the plane.  Thoughts?

[hispeed7721]

To start - you'll be on a plane home Saturday morning (because you won't finish on base till 5-6 pm on Friday), and on a plane flying back Sunday afternoon...MAYBE 36 hours at the house. I can't imagine what the cost for those flights are throughout all of pilot training for only 36 hours. Also, you will fly some weekends and won't be able to leave.

When I went through, last duty Friday until Sunday after lunch was a no study time. You need time to decompress, so being gone and not studying isn't really an issue. But if you're worrying about your SO's health in a different location during the week it will make things more difficult.

Like I said, not impossible. But completely unrealistic IMHO.

You have to decide what your priorities are. There's nothing wrong with deciding that your family can't stand to have you gone and committed to the time UPT takes. But if you're going to attend UPT and actually graduate, plan to put the time in. Don't show up with the attitude of "I'm ANG so I can just breeze through." I've seen more than one ANG guy get the boot because they had that attitude.

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[Rhade]

2 minutes ago, hispeed7721 said:

 

 

To start - you'll be on a plane home Saturday morning (because you won't finish on base till 5-6 pm on Friday), and on a plane flying back Sunday afternoon...MAYBE 36 hours at the house. I can't imagine what the cost for those flights are throughout all of pilot training for only 36 hours. Also, you will fly some weekends and won't be able to leave.

 

 

When I went through, last duty Friday until Sunday after lunch was a no study time. You need time to decompress, so being gone and not studying isn't really an issue. But if you're worrying about your SO's health in a different location during the week it will make things more difficult.

 

 

Like I said, not impossible. But completely unrealistic IMHO.

 

 

You have to decide what your priorities are. There's nothing wrong with deciding that your family can't stand to have you gone and commuted to the time UPT takes. But if you're going to attend UPT and actually graduate, plan to put the time in. Don't show up with the attitude of "I'm ANG so I can just breeze through." I've seen more than one ANG guy get the boot because they had that attitude.

 

 

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I have no delusions about breezing through UPT or it being easy at all, I'm just trying to find a way to follow a once in a lifetime opportunity while still giving my fiance the support she needs.  I was planning on leaving Friday night and having all day Sat. and part of Sunday morning with her.  I know it probably couldn't happen every weekend, but it's something I would want to try to take advantage of if the opportunity arose.  In all honesty I got the idea from the LtCol I interviewed with who did something similar but via driving.

[Clark Griswold]

Hmmmm... my honest opinion it just seems a bit complicated and prone to problems.  Are you considering flying home every weekend?  If so, you will have to be on leave, just assuming a 2.5 hour plane ride is 1000+ miles from your UPT base and it puts a bit of risk on you every weekend.

What if your training event (flight or sim) runs late and you can't make your flight?  What if your return flight gets cancelled or diverts, low chance but a possibility.  This highlights you and screws up your training schedule which is packed and has to keep moving to graduate you on time or close to it and not totally saturate you with training events, believe me it sucks when you have to drink from the fire hose to catch up or just at particularly demanding portions of the syllabus.

Also, the bullshit of modern air travel for passengers seems like it would wear you down and I agree with hispeed7721, down time to recharge is necessary.  

Just a suggestion, if you do choose to accept the UPT slot, don't plan on leaving or going home at the beginning of a new Phase of training until you have gotten the basics and have figured out how to handle it, i.e. when you hit the flight line, wait two to three weeks before you try to bounce to home as you will see how fast you absorb the material, your personal time need to prepare for each training event scheduled and training events you are eligible for and could be scheduled for on the fly if there is an opening on the schedule.

I hope it works out for you and you're able to find a good mix if you choose to go.

[HeloDude]

Why not just marry her and bring her with you?  Is her health situation that bad that she can't get the health services she needs at one of the local hospitals in a UPT town?  What about asking to be stationed at Vance with the OKC hospitals not too reasonably far away?

If you can't make one of these options work, then I suggest you stick with what matters most...

[Rhade]

12 minutes ago, HeloDude said:

Why not just marry her and bring her with you?  Is her health situation that bad that she can't get the health services she needs at one of the local hospitals in a UPT town?  What about asking to be stationed at Vance with the OKC hospitals not too reasonably far away?

If you can't make one of these options work, then I suggest you stick with what matters most...

No she can get care anywhere, but bc I would be ANG and would be returning to where we currently live we both agreed it would be best if she continued her professional career as opposed to putting it on hold for my 1.5-2 years of training.

[viper154]

Do a court house wedding, don't tell anyone and bring her along. Unless your in such a bad financial situation she needs to keep her job, in which case how do you expect to pay for flights ? And if she is working full time I would expect she has good enough health to fly and see you as well. I think every weekend probably ain't going to happen. Maybe once a month, or on the long weekends holidays. UPT is stressful enough, dealing with airline bullshit, sleep, travel ect every week sounds like a recipie for a bad time, mmmmk

[HeloDude]

8 minutes ago, Rhade said:

No she can get care anywhere, but bc I would be ANG and would be returning to where we currently live we both agreed it would be best if she continued her professional career as opposed to putting it on hold for my 1.5-2 years of training.

Sorry man, but life is about tough choices.  As others have said, you won't be able to fly home often while in UPT...so if this hard to accept, then perhaps you should focus on your number one priority which appears to be your fiancé.  Flying in the AF/Guard can be great, but it's no substitute for your family.  Good luck.

[Rhade]

1 minute ago, viper154 said:

Do a court house wedding, don't tell anyone and bring her along. Unless your in such a bad financial situation she needs to keep her job, in which case how do you expect to pay for flights ? And if she is working full time I would expect she has good enough health to fly and see you as well. I think every weekend probably ain't going to happen. Maybe once a month, or on the long weekends holidays. UPT is stressful enough, dealing with airline bullshit, sleep, travel ect every week sounds like a recipie for a bad time, mmmmk

Getting married is something we will definitely do if I accept.  She has a very good job making a sizable income, and both she and I are very proud of her career.  With me only making a Lt salary, we would want her to keep her job for the financial benefit as well as her professional satisfaction.  It's not fair of me to ask her to give up her dream for mine.  But you make a fair point about her visiting me on some weekends as well.

As a side note, I really appreciate all of your responses.  The insight from you guys in the know is a huge help! 

[thingsthatfly]

Just spitballing here but is there anyway that she can work remotely? Is she able to travel, how about her visiting you on the some weekends? 

Sounds like money might not be too much of issue but if you were married you cant get a waiver to receive dependent rate BAH for where you spouse is living if you got to UPT as an unaccompanied married officer. So you would get your home zip code BAH (they normally just take this at UPT) on top of your LT salary that might help pay for some tickets. You can look that up here. 

 

[Rhade]

4 hours ago, thingsthatfly said:

Just spitballing here but is there anyway that she can work remotely? Is she able to travel, how about her visiting you on the some weekends? 

Sounds like money might not be too much of issue but if you were married you cant get a waiver to receive dependent rate BAH for where you spouse is living if you got to UPT as an unaccompanied married officer. So you would get your home zip code BAH (they normally just take this at UPT) on top of your LT salary that might help pay for some tickets. You can look that up here. 

 

This would be ideal, but she is currently working as a consultant as opposed to a permanent employee.  The rumor is they may make her a permanent offer soon, but until then she cant realistically make that request until then.  We have talked about it though and that would absolutely be the plan if we could swing it.  In the meantime we want to plan for the most difficult scenario. Hope for the best, plan for the worst kind of people. :)  But yea good call TTF.

[Kenny Powers]

Keep in mind, being away from her isn't going to stop after UPT. How will deployments/tdys work? You'll probably stay busy/gone after you get wings so you need to take that into consideration. Like others have said, this job is great but I wouldn't put it before my family.

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[YoungnDumb]

Speaking as a current IP, I 100% agree with the other comments, you will not be able to go home every weekend to be with your fiance.  No matter how much you think it is possible and how you will study on the airplane rides and so on, it will not happen.  Furthermore, every IP I know does not allow their students leave while in training.

At this point you need to make a very tough decision, join the Guard or don't.  If you do, given your desire to keep your fiance with her current job, I would recommend going through a court house marriage so she gets health coverage (though not 100% sure how the Guard treats family), and you get a small pay bump for being married.  Then you go through UPT, see her when you can, which in reality will maybe be between phases (if you finish early enough) and on long weekends.  Is it going to suck for about 2 years with UPT and follow on training?  Absolutely.  Have others done it?  Absolutely.  My wife and I went through essentially the same thing; Academy, then UPT, then more training before finally getting a chance to be together.  If you have a strong enough relationship it will work out. But, if you're not willing to go through 1-2 years with minimal face time and contact then I'd recommend looking elsewhere for employment.

[brabus]

Kenny's point is huge.  I've been gone from home a cumulative 4 years out of 9 years of marriage...and I'm pretty sure that's average at best, there are many dudes who have been gone a lot more than that.  Flying is awesome and I love my job, but it's not easy on the family.  I *think* the ANG is better than the picture I painted, but spending YEARS (cumulative) away from family is reality over a career, regardless if you're AD or ARC.  UPT is only the beginning, and almost laughably low stress/easy once you get a few years in the future and compare that to UPT.  It's a great life/job for many, but not for all; make your decision being the most informed possible.

[Rhade]

On 3/29/2016 at 11:35 PM, Kenny Powers said:

Keep in mind, being away from her isn't going to stop after UPT. How will deployments/tdys work? You'll probably stay busy/gone after you get wings so you need to take that into consideration. Like others have said, this job is great but I wouldn't put it before my family.

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26 minutes ago, brabus said:

Kenny's point is huge.  I've been gone from home a cumulative 4 years out of 9 years of marriage...and I'm pretty sure that's average at best, there are many dudes who have been gone a lot more than that.  Flying is awesome and I love my job, but it's not easy on the family.  I *think* the ANG is better than the picture I painted, but spending YEARS (cumulative) away from family is reality over a career, regardless if you're AD or ARC.  UPT is only the beginning, and almost laughably low stress/easy once you get a few years in the future and compare that to UPT.  It's a great life/job for many, but not for all; make your decision being the most informed possible.

These are great points and things we have discussed.  From my understanding the Guard tends to have shorter deployments and I think she will be fine for those months I'm gone.  Another question, is how realistic is it for a pilot to be a traditional part time guardsman?  I've been told part-time is always an option after training, but i just find it hard to believe they wouldn't want/force me full time after spending a million dollars in training on me.

[Rohhiram]

From what I've heard, Guard bases don't have a problem with you being a traditional guardsman, as long as you "put your time in", so to speak. One C-130 base I was talking said they like you to fly quite a bit, volunteer for crappy trips, and so on, for the first few years right after UPT. But after that, they're OK with you being a traditional. Seems like the same story at different KC-135 base too. 

Guys with actual experience may want to chime in. 

[bb17]

On 3/26/2016 at 3:33 PM, thingsthatfly said:

Just spitballing here but is there anyway that she can work remotely? Is she able to travel, how about her visiting you on the some weekends? 

Sounds like money might not be too much of issue but if you were married you cant get a waiver to receive dependent rate BAH for where you spouse is living if you got to UPT as an unaccompanied married officer. So you would get your home zip code BAH (they normally just take this at UPT) on top of your LT salary that might help pay for some tickets. You can look that up here. 

 

Can you provide more detail on how this works? I will be in a similar situation - wife living in a house that we own and working in that city, while I'll be at UPT full time about 2 hrs away. 

[viper154]

3 hours ago, bb17 said:

Can you provide more detail on how this works? I will be in a similar situation - wife living in a house that we own and working in that city, while I'll be at UPT full time about 2 hrs away. 

You need to talk to you unit as they provide the funding/waiver or whatever it is they do. We had several guys do this in my class. If you go this route you will be forced to live in the dorms. 

[bb17]

2 hours ago, viper154 said:

You need to talk to you unit as they provide the funding/waiver or whatever it is they do. We had several guys do this in my class. If you go this route you will be forced to live in the dorms. 

Cool and thanks for input! Dorms is fine to me, less baggage to deal with.