Former and Current Military Pilots: Complete this Statement

[DeltaMike17]

Fill in the blanks:
"In the [insert Military Branch], you're actually a ______ first, then a pilot second"
and give me a reason why this is the case

I've seen it on multiple posts here and there, decided I may want to try to coalesce these answers all together under one.
For example, marketing tells me that going Warrant Officer Army Pilot all you'll do is fly helicopters. I find this a little too good to be true as with any leadership position there comes a bevy of staff duties to fulfill. Like making sure the fridge is stocked.

For example: In the Marines, you're actually a rifleman first, a pilot second. Because "oo-rah kill".

So let's hear it! What additional jobs/ responsibilities are thrown on you as a leader of the fine US military?
 

[Mighty]

“In the Navy, you’re actually a seaman first, then a pilot second because you are what you eat”

[Biff_T]

2 hours ago, DMartin17 said:

Fill in the blanks:
"In the [insert Military Branch], you're actually a ______ first, then a pilot second"
and give me a reason why this is 

 

USAF

Pure American badass

Because

Edited December 11, 2022 by Biff_T

[Springer]

USAF  Snack bar officer AFTER spending 1.5 years training to be a pilot.

Needs of the military.

 

Edited December 12, 2022 by Springer

[SocialD]

In the Air Force, I'm a Microsoft Office maven first, pilot second. 

 

If I had known how much I need to know office products in the Air Force, I'd have spent more time learning it in college.

[LiquidSky]

I wish I was a pilot second. At this point me flying is third or fourth on the supposed needs of the air force.

[Prozac]

In the Air Force you’re actually a finance officer first, a personnelist second, a logistics officer third, an amateur pharmacist fourth, a security forces officer fifth, a lawyer sixth, and a pilot, oh, I dunno, maybe tenth?, twelfth?  Because….all of the people who are supposed to be doing all that other shit have gone home for the day by the time you’re back from your flight. 

[RegularJoe]

Usaf

 

PowerPoint Specialist 

 

Because no-one can fly without a slideshow

[nunya]

I was definitely a travel agent way before I was a USAF pilot. Hotels for the crew, check. Cars for the crew, check. Oh wait, Andrews rental car place closed at noon. Ok, we'll call three taxis. Taxi driver got arrested trying to come through the gate. Can I hitchhike to the off base rental car center? DTS approver wants to know why I didn't get a u-drive. Ok, hand it all in 14 hours later. What's that Eng? We're broke? Ok, I'll get our cars back. Let's see if the hotel has rooms - wait - it's Friday night. Now I put on my lawyer hat because the load just called from jail.

[Biff_T]

9 hours ago, nunya said:

I was definitely a travel agent way before I was a USAF pilot. Hotels for the crew, check. Cars for the crew, check. Oh wait, Andrews rental car place closed at noon. Ok, we'll call three taxis. Taxi driver got arrested trying to come through the gate. Can I hitchhike to the off base rental car center? DTS approver wants to know why I didn't get a u-drive. Ok, hand it all in 14 hours later. What's that Eng? We're broke? Ok, I'll get our cars back. Let's see if the hotel has rooms - wait - it's Friday night. Now I put on my lawyer hat because the load just called from jail.

When I was a boom I put my ACs through some fun times.  Thank God I never flew in AMC as a pilot (not a dig).   You guys are really good at herding all of the drunk cattle around Earth.  It was fun as a boom though.   

[filthy_liar]

What is the point of this DMartin17?  If its a venue to vent, fair enough but this seems very LPAish.  Yes, you're going to have a shitload of additional duties.  Yes, pilots hate them and are no kidding getting out because of them.  I fail to see the point of this thread.

[Danger41]

4 hours ago, Biff_T said:

When I was a boom I put my ACs through some fun times.  Thank God I never flew in AMC as a pilot (not a dig).   You guys are really good at herding all of the drunk cattle around Earth.  It was fun as a boom though.   

I’ve never been in a community that has had to deal with these types of shenanigans, but has an AC ever just said “fuck this guy. He’s an adult and I’m not responsible for his stupid ass?” Or is it always the military standard of the AC is responsible for everyone on the crew even if they’re shit heads?

[Biff_T]

7 minutes ago, Danger41 said:

I’ve never been in a community that has had to deal with these types of shenanigans, but has an AC ever just said “fuck this guy. He’s an adult and I’m not responsible for his stupid ass?” Or is it always the military standard of the AC is responsible for everyone on the crew even if they’re shit heads?

When I was a boom, the ACs took care of us.  They earned their paychecks on the road.  

[dream big]

1 hour ago, Danger41 said:

I’ve never been in a community that has had to deal with these types of shenanigans, but has an AC ever just said “fuck this guy. He’s an adult and I’m not responsible for his stupid ass?” Or is it always the military standard of the AC is responsible for everyone on the crew even if they’re shit heads?

Yepp, left a drunk loadmaster behind once at bus time  (we had two for this mission and only needed one to get home). Commander had my back. 

[SocialD]

9 hours ago, filthy_liar said:

What is the point of this DMartin17?  If its a venue to vent, fair enough but this seems very LPAish.  Yes, you're going to have a shitload of additional duties.  Yes, pilots hate them and are no kidding getting out because of them.  I fail to see the point of this thread.

 

 

This is a forum where we have fun sport bitching and occasionally solving things.  This is clearly the former, so you can take your slightly decent attitude somewhere else!  

[Prozac]

12 hours ago, Danger41 said:

I’ve never been in a community that has had to deal with these types of shenanigans, but has an AC ever just said “fuck this guy. He’s an adult and I’m not responsible for his stupid ass?” Or is it always the military standard of the AC is responsible for everyone on the crew even if they’re shit heads?

Never left a boom. There were a couple times when when I immediately put a guy in the back & told him I didn’t want to see him for the remainder of the flight, but those guys were squadron mates & weren’t gonna get left behind. I even once had to talk the OIC at the brig in Souda Bay into releasing a couple of my guys (who had broken curfew) so we could depart. I did deny boarding once to a (very) drunk crew chief (think belligerent, out of control & a potential danger to the crew) & was backed up by leadership. 

[DeltaMike17]

On 12/12/2022 at 9:10 PM, filthy_liar said:

 I fail to see the point of this thread.

I'm a civilian interested in flying for the military. I'm also am a skeptic and I enjoy humor. The advertising for the military is always "join the X branch, slay the dragon etc. etc."

"Join the Air Force, become the best, AIM HIGH. YOU CAN FLY THE F35 AND DO AWESOME STUFF ALL THE TIME"
Yeah Yeah yeah, It's awesome to become a pilot. However, I know there's usually much more behind a job than just the official title and duties listed on paper. I'm an outsider looking in so browsing and engaging these forums help

The point was to get an idea of everyday duties of being an Officer/ Pilot. For Example, @RegularJoe commented that In the USAF you're a powerpoint specialist. That's funny and I can see reasons why this is the case.

Or in the Navy, I've heard they're Cleaning specialists first because "this damn ship keeps producing lint from it's ass" (E2 hawkeye pilot I met told me that).

So you can get a lot of information from encouraging sarcastic responses

[VMFA187]

“In the Marine Corps, you’re actually dumb first, then a pilot fifth because we teach and train to the lowest common denominator.”

2) Skeds O / Maintenance O / Adjutant etc...

3) Therapist / Financial Advisor / etc... for those E-3 and 4s who get married to a stripper in Guam on deployment two months ago, who doesn't speak English, and then you find out that her whole family (8) moved to America and is living in a 2 bedroom apartment with said E-3. Or the E-4 who bought a brand new Ford Raptor because "Sir, they allow 10 year car loans now with no money down at only an 8% interest rate."

4) Paperwork bitch because of all those random Commanding General Inspections - "Wait, you didn't know that you were the voting officer and the hazardous duty officer? You didn't perform quarterly vehicle inspections on all the enlisted Marines to ensure they could evacuate if required AND you didn't publish quarterly voting advertisements for the Marines who are all residents from varied states, counties, and cities? You're off the flight schedule until this is remedied. We can't get a deficiency in these areas... Yes, I am aware we reported 7 up jets this morning and just went down to a single."

[Biff_T]

36 minutes ago, VMFA187 said:

“In the Marine Corps, you’re actually dumb first, then a pilot fifth because we teach and train to the lowest common denominator.”

2) Skeds O / Maintenance O / Adjutant etc...

3) Therapist / Financial Advisor / etc... for those E-3 and 4s who get married to a stripper in Guam on deployment two months ago, who doesn't speak English, and then you find out that her whole family (8) moved to America and is living in a 2 bedroom apartment with said E-3. Or the E-4 who bought a brand new Ford Raptor because "Sir, they allow 10 year car loans now with no money down at only an 8% interest rate."

4) Paperwork bitch because of all those random Commanding General Inspections - "Wait, you didn't know that you were the voting officer and the hazardous duty officer? You didn't perform quarterly vehicle inspections on all the enlisted Marines to ensure they could evacuate if required AND you didn't publish quarterly voting advertisements for the Marines who are all residents from varied states, counties, and cities? You're off the flight schedule until this is remedied. We can't get a deficiency in these areas... Yes, I am aware we reported 7 up jets this morning and just went down to a single."

This is the most accurate statement about being a military pilot.  It was pretty similar in the mighty USAF.  Lol.  

[DeltaMike17]

@filthy_liar
Behold, an excellent and sarcastic answer by @VMFA187
Some valuable insight can be obtained here about flying for the Marines

@VMFA187You can change CIA to Marines in this gif below lol