single vrs. married/ dating

[wikz]

kind of an abnormal post, but my question is, do you think people do better in UPT if single?

I had a good talk with one of the MSGT's in my unit, and we were discussing what I wanted to do, and we both agreed that dating while trying to pursue a fighter slot should be something to shy away from because of how busy a fighter pilot's life can be. 

dont get me wrong. with all due respect, I love women and dream to start a family as well, but I do believe that they can distract you from your goals. as most of you know, the energy, money, and time spent on a significant other is enormous. I can't seem to shake the idea in my head of "how much better I could be doing without one while trying to pursue the slot," which is the reason I dont date.

Edited May 20 by wikz

[BashiChuni]

seen it work both ways. depends on the relationship.

[CaptainMorgan]

I’d say single, with the exception of students who’ve been married for a while and whose spouses have developed a good understanding of what the military lifestyle is like. Dragging a newlywed to Columbus, Vance, or Laughlin is a terrible idea. You’re going to be extremely busy, especially if your goal is to track T-38s and then get a fighter. She, on the other hand, is going to be extremely bored in a place with nothing to do, unless her job is portable.


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[nunya]

3 hours ago, wikz said:

I do believe that they can distract you from your goals

They can also be an incredible ally in one of the hardest years of your life. Certainly I've seen them be a drain - and that couple usually ends up divorced. My wife of 20+ years was with me before and through UPT and she made my life during training infinitely easier and more comfortable. She also found a part time job so she wasn't cooped up in the house all day just waiting on formal release.

To CaptainMorgan's point... we weren't complete newly weds and it would have been more shocking to go from honeymoon to UPT in days instead of months.

3 hours ago, wikz said:

which is the reason I dont date

That's fine. And I agree 100% - don't let your Tinder/Insta/Grindr/Bumble/Farmers Only flings distract you. But my only advice is don't be so closed minded that if the right one drops into your life that you ignore her for the wrong reasons.

Edited May 21 by nunya

[wikz]

3 hours ago, nunya said:

 But my only advice is don't be so closed minded that if the right one drops into your life that you ignore her for the wrong reasons.

I agree. I guess I just haven't met anyone that knocks my socks off. I would love to find someone who pushes me when im tired or understands what I want, but its just hard to find.

im glad you were able to.

Edited May 21 by wikz

[brabus]

On 5/20/2024 at 6:45 PM, CaptainMorgan said:

Dragging a newlywed to Columbus, Vance, or Laughlin is a terrible idea. You’re going to be extremely busy, especially if your goal is to track T-38s and then get a fighter. She, on the other hand, is going to be extremely bored in a place with nothing to do, unless her job is portable.

Maybe, maybe completely invalid. All depends on if one made a good spouse choice. 
 

@wikz If you meet someone who shares your values/morals, has good female/maternal qualities (even if you don’t want kids right away, those are still good qualities to look for), and is supportive of your goals, then do not pass her up. My wife has been instrumental in my life, and that includes 3 days after the honey moon when she moved alone to Vance and I went direct to party my face off at Maxwell for 6 weeks before starting UPT. The right one is out there, don’t be in a rush, but don’t go so fast you miss the signs of a quality mate. It may happen at the most unexpected time. 

[HossHarris]

Crushing pussy is admin … married or single. Should take very little of your time and attention to do well. 
 

or maybe you aren’t cut out to fly fighters ….

[gearhog]

My wife and I had been dating for about 1.5 years. As my UPT date approached, we weren't sure what to do. She was still in college. I was going to be in BOQ in Columbus. How was she going to visit and how often?

I proposed on a Thursday evening. We went to the courthouse Friday morning and got married. Then we called our parents and I called CBM and said I needed a house on base. Arrived there a week later and got to work making some kids. That was 26 years ago. Now we have grandkids. I wanted to fly and I wanted a family. There is absolutely no reason why someone can't do both. Granted, you gotta choose wisely, but going home to a house after flying, having a dinner at a table every night, getting laid, and having someone to be with... I wouldn't do it any other way.

That said, I sympathize with you. The quality of women available to men of your generation is absolute shit. good luck.

[RASH]

My wife and I had been dating for about 1.5 years. As my UPT date approached, we weren't sure what to do. She was still in college. I was going to be in BOQ in Columbus. How was she going to visit and how often?
I proposed on a Thursday evening. We went to the courthouse Friday morning and got married. Then we called our parents and I called CBM and said I needed a house on base. Arrived there a week later and got to work making some kids. That was 26 years ago. Now we have grandkids. I wanted to fly and I wanted a family. There is absolutely no reason why someone can't do both. Granted, you gotta choose wisely, but going home to a house after flying, having a dinner at a table every night, getting laid, and having someone to be with... I wouldn't do it any other way.
That said, I sympathize with you. The quality of women available to men of your generation is absolute shit. good luck.

Similar story. Proposed June 3rd, married July 14th, moved to Lubbock July 21st, started UPT Aug 3rd. First kid born mid-May (middle of 38s). 3 more years of FAIPdom, another kid, followed by 17 years of Herks. 15 years after retiring, and we’re celebrating our 35th anniversary next month. YMMV, but don’t pass up “the one”


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