Pattern Buffoonery!

January 20, 2005

Does anyone have some funny Pattern/Area Buffoonery stories to share from UPT Phase II? I love hearing that I'm not the only one acting like a moron. :confused:

January 20, 2005

one guy in my class broke into the center ry 0-0 but i dont know if that is funny or just scary

January 20, 2005

If you mean completely breaking the wrong way, that would be both...

On the topic of crazy radio...we had one guy make the call...

Control: "Raptor XX, Ident."

Pilot: "Raptor XX, Identing."

Toro · January 20, 2005

On one of his T-38 solos, a guy in my class got sent around on short final by the RSU and forgot to unkey the mic immediately after his radio call.

RSU - "Taurus 69, go-around"

My bud - "Taurus 69 on the go.....dammit!"

January 20, 2005

Maybe im missing something.

Control: "Raptor XX, Ident."

Pilot: "Raptor XX, Identing."

Control: Raptor XX, Ident (whats your squawk)

Pilot: Raptor XX, Identing. (with the flash)(squawk)tn spelling.

call me crazy but im curious whats the joke?

Im sure there is a explination. In order to get the joke im prepared for the retaliation im going to recieve from those who get it. No disrespect intended just curious.

CHEERS

JS · January 20, 2005

The most F'ed up thing I ever remember hearing about was a pattern a classmate of mine flew in Tweets (this story came from him - and other classmates in the pattern confirmed it). It was his 2nd solo (pattern only) and he was coming up initial pretty offset off to the right of the runway. He broke left and realized how bad his spacing was so he kept the break turn coming around, didn't drop gear or descend, and lined back up with the runway for another initial - all in one maneuver. He then sped back up to 200 KIAS and called breakpoint-straight-through and kept going. The RSU apparently missed his first break because they didn't say anything. After he called BPST though, they asked him why he was going straight through (no straight-ins or anything like that). He came on the radio for like 10 seconds and mumbled something like "Ummmmm......I just didn't really.....feel comfortable with that one"

January 20, 2005

We had a guy in my class that got the "jackass" award every week. We all liked him but he was fun to tease. On our first area solo there were 9 of us from my class all going out at the end of the day at the same time. When we got back to the pattern we took turns extending off of the perch so this guy would have to break out. We all thought it was funny and were talking about it back in the flight room. Our Flight Commander didn't think it was very funny!

One of our Navy guys (Vance, AFB) did it the most and was the most boisterious about it. He got to give a safety brief on why it wasn't cool.

Also on that same flight this Navy guy had to break out right when I was comming back from the area. He had the sun in his eyes and couldn't find the VFR entry point. He figured he hadn't flown far enough so he just kept flying. I was descending from the radar release point and was trying to find my ground refrence. I looked up just in time to see a tweet come zipping past me less than 50 feet away and co-altitude. It scared the crap out of me. He was a good guy and was not a jackass. We kept it on the downlow until we were tweet complete and then at our flight commanders party we told him about it. We could all laugh about it at the time, but we were lucky SOBs. We should have talked to safety about it, but we were scared at the time he might get get washed out or something stupid like that. One factor to this incident was we had only flown this runway one other time prior to our solo, so we wern't very familiar with the ground refrences.

January 20, 2005

HercengTN, its kool...I'll explain.

Saying "with a flash" is a fine thing to do, attached to your contact radio call it would keep control from having to ask you to "ident."

Having not done it on your own, and having been asked to flip the switch, no one wants to hear "identing," just flip the bloody switch...Can you imagine a radio call everytime you flip a switch...silliness.

ClearedHot · January 20, 2005

I was sitting in the RSU at Laughlin when one of the Portuguese pilots in the class behind us called initial for runway 31…we were on runway 13! What followed can best be visualized by watching the Thunderbirds perform the bomb-burst. There were T-38’s everywhere. Of course when he landed his english skills suddenly got a lot worse…

Gravedigger · January 20, 2005

I was flying in IMC one time talking to departure on 126.97 and they told me to contact approach on 121.0. My friend had the radios, and calls up 126.97 thinking he had flipped the switch. They promptly told him to switch to 121.0. He answered with "and the monkey flips the switch." I love hearing peoples excuses for not switching. Anyone have some good ones?

January 20, 2005

I was flying a Mooney cross country and was handed off between controllers and to a different frequency. I forgot to flip the switch, it happens. I was corrected and made another radio call. Oops, I hit the nav flip switch. I called "Third time's a charm" and finally got it right.

farva · January 20, 2005

How about this one...

An IP was flying with an Italian student who was approaching the perch and was all messed up. So the IP says, "breakout". The student says and does nothing, just keeps flying to the perch. The IP again says, "breakout". Again the student says and does nothing. Finally the IP takes the jet and breaks out past the perch comes back around and lands. In the debrief, the IP asks "what the f--- was that all about, when I say breakout, do it." Then (picture this in your best Italian accent) the Italian dude says, "if you would have said breakout one more time, it would have been handgrips-squeeze, triggers-raise". The guy was gonna frickin' punch out because he thought the IP was saying "bailout". He even dicked up the boldface.

WHAP · January 21, 2005

We had a dude take a formation the wrong way up initial at Moody, made a few guys break out.

Some other dudes have tried to gear up land.

Had a dude in formation get to the area with his flaps hanging at 200 knots, max is 150 for the 6.

Had another dude almost declare an IFE because he had the throttle back at idle and his engine showed 5% torque. He was solo and another IP told him on victor "welcome to idle".

Toro · January 21, 2005

Originally posted by KoolKat:
Saying "with a flash" is a fine thing to do, attached to your contact radio call it would keep control from having to ask you to "ident."

Except you don't normally preface initial contact calls with "with a flash." Unless you free-call a controller from VFR flight, they are expecting you and know roughly where you are. They only ask you to ident if there is heavy traffic and/or they don't know your exact position. Except for the fact that "identing" doesn't sound quite as cool as "with a flash", there is neither anything wrong nor funny about the call.

January 21, 2005

This story actually happenned to one of my UPT classmates. Some IPS come up with some really creative ways to make a point:

As the SP and IP waited in the hammerhead in their T-37, they watch the preceding Tweet taxi onto the runway.."HOLY S*&T!!" said the IP. "He just took the active without clearance!"....then the tweet adds power and takes off! "HOLY S*&!!" said the IP even louder-- "He just took off without clearance!!!" The stud turns to his IP and says something like "OHMYGOD!! What do we do, sir???" he IP looks at him and coolly responds "How 'bout you change to Channel 4 (RSU freq)?" My friend forgot to switch to the RSU freq as he taxiied out--the IP later said that he was having so much fun toying with him, he didn't want to stop (STS). My friend was so freaked out...but he eventually laughed about it....

Flare · January 21, 2005

Originally posted by AV8NSP:
This story actually happenned to one of my UPT classmates. Some IPS come up with some really creative ways to make a point:
As the SP and IP waited in the hammerhead in their T-37, they watch the preceding Tweet taxi onto the runway.."HOLY S*&T!!" said the IP. "He just took the active without clearance!"....then the tweet adds power and takes off! "HOLY S*&!!" said the IP even louder-- "He just took off without clearance!!!" The stud turns to his IP and says something like "OHMYGOD!! What do we do, sir???" he IP looks at him and coolly responds "How 'bout you change to Channel 4 (RSU freq)?" My friend forgot to switch to the RSU freq as he taxiied out--the IP later said that he was having so much fun toying with him, he didn't want to stop (STS).

Thats awesome! I will definately be using that in the near future.......

Ram · January 21, 2005

I know an old urban legend here at SPS about way back in the early days of ENJJPT.

As you can guess, the whole "language barrier" deal was a hassle and a hard thing for Americans to get used to in the early days of the program. Some American IPs, however, took it in stride.

On a T3 sortie (IP in both cockpits) in the T-38, a couple IPs decided to mess with the RSU. Upon entering the pattern, one IP made all the radio calls in the thickest accent he could in an effort to convince the RSU that they had a language-challenged student in the pattern. To add to the hilarity, the IPs decided to f*ck with the RSU by having the front seater duck down below the canopy rails -- out of sight -- during the final approach/flare. Initial, the break, and the final turn all *look* normal, but, as the jet passes the RSU, the dudes in the container note that there's only one guy in the jet. AND HE'S IN THE BACK SEAT. Oh no!

The RSU gets on the radio to talk to the "foreign pilot," and they explain to him that the T-38 is only flown solo from the front seat.

The reply (in the best broken English the IP can muster): "Oh...ok...I fix, then. No problem."

So the FCP IP gets up and starts flying, while the RCP IP ducks down below the rails...

Next time around, the RSU sees the "foreign pilot" in the front seat now. Confusion and hilarity ensues.

Dunno if it's true, but 10% rule applies, and it's a damn good story...

January 21, 2005

That's just awesome.

January 21, 2005

hah, we all know that was you beerman

January 22, 2005

Scare was Payne, Code was Dahlgren. I was out there that afternoon also. By the way that was the same day as the story I posted above.

January 22, 2005

Seems like particular IPs do have quite the influence, don't they?

January 31, 2005

I got 3, Same like beerman, except, yours truly forgot to lock it down, so my neck was cocked to oneside on the top of the canopy as I'm checkin in, laughing, and trying to roll wing level.

Friend of mine flyin on my wing in Form, just couldn't stay on my wing, you could hear his voice getting more and more frustrated. Finally you hear over the radio......F@CK...2's BREAKING OUT. YEAH...HE HOOKED.

Ok last one this guy deserves the dumbass award and I hope none of you ever fly with him if he even made it out of vance and Columbus because he got unfair treatment at VANCE if you know him you'll know what I am talking about...MIKE HOCKISARD, called initial one day with his boards out. He called up the RSU and said he was declaring an emergency he thought his gear was stuck down. He commented on the plane's sluggish feel etc. The RSU checked his big fat tweet board hangin in the wind and told him to land...YEah he Hooked....HIS F^CKIN SOLO!

[ 31. January 2005, 05:10: Message edited by: Toro ]

Rocker · January 31, 2005

Hey KoolKat, where were you for UPT that you had "Raptor" callsigns?

We had a character in my class at Laughlin (T-6s) doing a pattern solo make a T-6 formation break out after they called VFR entry, he saw them, and then pushed up the juice to try to beat them (while simultaneously trying to remember the pattern priorities EMFREV). Obviously a hook when they found out who he was. And then of course there were several fun IRTs, such as "Texan XX, five miles radar initial" or "Texan XX, initial....um...gas" (actually saying the word gas because he knew he wanted to full stop but was a little behind the airplane right then). And then I was directly responsible for some buffoonery at VFR entry one day when four of us solos kept breaking out at the entry point to further engage in what we liked to call "The Battle of Britain." It was fun to "go to guns" on them while hearing he RSU say "Use caution, there are four of you." So much for flight discipline. And one last one...on an IFR stereo to San Angelo (SJT) one day, I had waited a little too long to get my tasks lined up, and got handed off to SJT approach way before I was ready, and while doing the other 15 things I say to approach: "San Angelo approach, Vaca XX is uh...43 miles um, east of...San Angelo...requesting vectors to...uh, stand by." That call seemed like about 30 seconds. Then without missing a beat, my IP gets on there and apologizes to San Angelo approach and the rest of the world on UHF because his student wasn't managing his tasks properly and makes the radio call for me. He laughed at me when he unkeyed the mic and I scorned him for selling me out. I got a "Funny" overall on the sortie.

[ 31. January 2005, 11:55: Message edited by: Rocker ]

TacAirCoug · January 31, 2005

My classmate: "Speedo 37..........Sh*t."

RSU: "Speedo 37, why don't you make this one a full stop."

January 31, 2005

Rocker Wrote:

Hey KoolKat, where were you for UPT that you had "Raptor" callsigns?

Doolittle Flight in the 41st @ CBM uses the Raptor callsign.

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