Aviation Truisms

[Guest driftsight]

Forgive me if you've seen these already. I'm sure a few of us around here haven't...

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."

- General MacArthur

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me."

- U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

- At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan

"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."

- Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."

From an old carrier sailor

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, . the pilot dies."

"Never trade luck for skill."

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:

"Why is it doing that?"

"Where are we?"

and "OH SHIT!"

"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."

"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."

Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."

"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."

"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"

"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."

"When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten."

"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible."

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you."

- Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum."

- Jon McBride, astronaut

"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."

- Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."

- Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."

[Guest Xtndr50boom]

There were a few in there I've never heard. Good list!

Only correction I can think of is the mach 3/lost quote. Paul Crickmore is an author who has written quite a few SR-71 books and publications. He's neither an SR-71 pilot, nor test pilot. IIRC the actual quote comes from either Jim Watkins (fmr SR pilot) or Dave Dempster (fmr SR RSO). One of them made the quote after their startracker nav system failed and they inadvertantly flew into mexican airspace near SoCal. 150 mile turn radius can screw with your seat of the pants feel apparently

[M2]

Wow, did you get those from The Hun??

Cheers! M2

[Guest sleepy]

Do you guys not have an e-mail address??? These things are all e-mail fwds from three weeks ago.

I did read an interesting bit in AOPA magazine today about some British guy who was doing aerobatics and the wing was about to rip off. So, he went inverted, putting negative G's on the wing in order to keep it attached to the fuselage, and rolled back just in time to flare. After touching down, supposedly, the wing ripped. They call it the English bunt. Might be old news to some, but fresh for me!

Hope that made sense. Too many s, worried about my depth perception (shameless plug hoping someone can advise me on my ? in av. med. forum) I know I shouldn't worry...mostly an excuse to chat w/ Mr. Miller.

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by sleepy:

Do you guys not have an e-mail address??? These things are all e-mail fwds from three weeks ago.

Try three years...minimum.

HD

[Guest sleepy]

Originally posted by HerkDriver24:

Try three years...minimum.

Ah, I see. Didn't pick up on M2's "Wow, did you get those from The Hun??"

I is a lidda slow deez dayz, Mista HD. Lidda bit slow.

:D

[HerkDerka]

LOL

HD

[Guest nmiller]

Originally posted by sleepy:

...mostly an excuse to chat w/ Mr. Miller.

Who me? :confused:

[Rocker]

Originally posted by driftsight:

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."

- General MacArthur

I'll take "The Penis Mightier" for $500.

[Guest dumaisj]

See, SNL had its moments...damn I miss those Jeopardy skits!

[busdriver]

Here's one:

The ground has a Pk of 1.0

[FourFans]

"The flak shell with your name on it isn't the one to fear...it's all those addressed: "To Whom It May Concern" that you need to worry about."

BUCK FUTTER!

[Guest driftsight]

Originally posted by MajorMadMax:

Wow, did you get those from The Hun??

Cheers! M2

LOL! Hell yea! You're even cooler than I thought, M3.