otsap Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 What happens if a pilot flying an airframe "sans" bathroom is on a long mission, can't land, and HAS to go? Do they wear a bag or something?
Herk Mafia Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 You could just sh*t yourself like that F-16 guy. Or maybe use you helmet bag if you have the time.
ClearedHot Posted April 19, 2005 Posted April 19, 2005 My first deployment in the Gunship...we departed HRT for Taegu Korea, I was sleeping in the gun positions for the 20MM's which we removed to cross the pond. About an hour after and a half after take off, the Loadmaster (who was killed in the MC-130 crash in Albania) wakes me up and says "hey they need a pilot up there quick!" I shake the cobwebs out and as I am about to go up the ladder, the Sqd/DO comes running down the ladder headed for the honey bucket. After he goes by I make it to the flight deck and see our Sqdn/DOV sitting in the seat looking all green. I don't have a headset, checklist, or anything, so he just points at the left seat and starts unstrapping. As it turns out one of the wives brought in some day old Boston crème donuts...that were left out all night. As the story goes one of the pilots sat on the trash can for the next few hours puking and crapping at the same time. I logged my first left seat time in the gunship solo as I took us to Travis AFB.
ViperStud Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 The call is "two's racehorse" and your flightlead should leave you alone. In the viper, #1 is time consuming but possible. Usually have to undo your labbelt and maybe your kit so you can get it up (sts) out of the way of the ejection handle. Good thing we have alt/heg hold. For #2 I have no personal stories but a dude I flew with not too long ago told us of the time he undid the same straps and no kidding cut his flightsuit (VERY carefully I assume) from the small of his back all the way down. He took a bag he had jammed in his cockpit (he was returning from a deployment, lots of souvenirs), and spread it below him all over the seat to catch the mess. In spite of the careful planning he shit all over the place and no joke upon landing called "3's down code 3 for poop." Man that's priceless.
Techsan Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 We had a guy in our sister flight in Tones who had an "emergency" one day. While he was sitting the jumpseat, he slipped into the back without anyone seeing him. He just forgot one thing...the TP. He made his way back to the jumpseat undetected. He also failed to mention any of this to mx. (Keep in mind this is Del Rio in the summer) The next day, the SQ/DO was scheduled to fly that same tail #. To his surprise, in the toilet lay Mr. Hankey...Hideeeee Hoooooooe SQ/DO! To make matters even worse, they seemed to be missing quite a few pages from their TX Low Vol 10. Ouch!
Guest AirGuardian Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 For the T-1 newbies entering the program in the near future... When you go cross country to another UPT Tone base and use the can(#2) in your Tone: If you RON there, make sure early next morning you swap out the honey bucket in the nearest home station Tone and see if the stink makes it back to your Wing King like some of us did...! God forbid the Tone you swapped with sits in the sun for a day or two... Priceless!
Guest SnakeT38 Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by ViperStud: The call is "two's racehorse" and your flightlead should leave you alone. In the viper, #1 is time consuming but possible. Usually have to undo your labbelt and maybe your kit so you can get it up (sts) out of the way of the ejection handle. Good thing we have alt/heg hold. For #2 I have no personal stories but a dude I flew with not too long ago told us of the time he undid the same straps and no kidding cut his flightsuit (VERY carefully I assume) from the small of his back all the way down. He took a bag he had jammed in his cockpit (he was returning from a deployment, lots of souvenirs), and spread it below him all over the seat to catch the mess. In spite of the careful planning he shit all over the place and no joke upon landing called "3's down code 3 for poop." Man that's priceless. I hope his "callsign" was changed to "Stooley, Dumper, Pile, Loaf, Mudslide".
Guest Rainman A-10 Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 It's kind of a joke but some really stupid things have happened because guys didn't pay attention. Single seat guys have to be told how to use a piddle pack during hanging harness training now. The LGPOS guys have actually lost jets trying to take a piss in-flight. We lost a pilot in the A-10 a couple years ago because he unstrapped the leg staps on his harness when he took a piss in a piddle pack while he was on the ground during the turn on a surge. He forgot to strap back up before they took off on the next sortie. He had a mid-air with the FAC(A) and had to bail out. Everything worked fine until the opening shock. Tragedy.
AFCS_Actuator Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 I think I just thought of a use for the flying scarf! It seems that scarves are about the right length and width to be used for TP. Call it ATP: aviator toliet paper?
Guest Tailspin Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 No, the scarves don't work as well as you would think. Not enough friction, but I wouldn't know...
Techsan Posted April 20, 2005 Posted April 20, 2005 Originally posted by Det002cadet: Before posting in this thread ask yourself if you are actaully going to answer my question or offer an opinion. I only want an answer. I have no desire for this to become another sh!tstorm thread. At my ROTC det we have a silk detachment flying scarf. Cadets who have been selected for UPT/UNT are allowed to wear the scarf with their bags. All I want to know is the proper way to wear the scarf. If you know the answer please post. If you want to offer an opinion about why cadets shouldn't be allowed to wear a scarf or bag please refrain from posting. Thank you. The above quote was actually made by Goin2UPT... So I guess you finally found a use for that scarf after all? Good for you!
Guest elroy Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 However, he has no desire for a SHITstorm...taste the irony.
Guest grsckoro Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Couple of good stories from some friends. A professor of mine was an F-16 Flight doc for the Fargo ANG and told us this story. In a two seat Viper the pilot in back had to go #2 and couldn't hold it so decided to shyt himself in his flight suit. The front pilot thought it would be funny afterwards to start pulling some heavy g's and going vertical while the rear pilot was trying to get comfortable again. When they got back and got out of the a/c the shyt had leaked all the way up his back to his neck line. Another friend of mine's Dad was an old 141 moth pilot and had trip when another squadron’s commander was going to jump seat back with them. They decided to play of joke on the guy to show how tough there squadron was. Before the flight they took a Cream of Chicken soup can and emptied it into a zip lock bag. Once in the air the co-pilot announced he was felling sick and acted like he was throwing up in the bag. After wards he turned to the jump-seat commander and told him in their squadron you had to re-eat it. He then turned and dumped the (cream and chicken soup) back down his mouth causing the jump-seater to throw up. Looking forward to having some of mine own soon, but thought these where good. [ 21. April 2005, 13:18: Message edited by: TUG ]
scoobs Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 This guy wrote a book on his experience flying the SR-71.A guy had an emergency while taxing to the runway.He was so deadicated he continued on.After the flight they had to pull him out because he was in so much pain.
Guest Pogo Posted April 21, 2005 Posted April 21, 2005 Scoobs, was that the guy who had a bad case of the slops, decided to sit in it for the mission and ended up with acidic burns to his thighs?
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