Best Deid Story

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by Safe&Clear:

Now that we have so many non-drinking SNAPs, can't us old alcoholics drink THEIR beers? Makes sense to me-- I assume they stock enough for everyone...

Of course not, they made sure to stock the DEL with enough wine and wine coolers to satisfy the SNAP crowd. It still blows my mind when I'm sitting in the bar after a 16-hour mission, dirty, stinking to hell, and guzzling a brew, to see some finance butterbar fresh off his 1100-1300 shift wasting a beer mark on a cup of napa valley night train.

Sad times.

HD

[Guest RedMan]

Thread Revival:

All right. That does it. Someone stole my monkey... So what do you do at the end of a rotation? Well, if you were me, then you take a giant inflatable monkey and tie him to the top of the van and drive around base. OK, admittedly, it's not the most mature thing to do. But who cares? It's a giant monkey on top of a van. It's hilarious. Anyway, I guess we offended a shoe clerk. It only took them 10 minutes to see the ominous ape, run our licenses tag, and call our Ops Sup (who was very confused by the whole conversation). We didn't know anyone had called, though, because we had taken the chimp to the chow hall (It’s taco night). The very sight of the grape ape infuriated someone to the point that they cut the monkey off the van and monkey-napped him.

So we've been driving around for an hour calling his name, but no luck. We've posted reward signs around base and we tried to file a missing monkey report with the cops, but they were laughing too hard. We have yet to see any ransom demands.

Oh, the best part of the story is, the original caller decided to remain anonymous, and tried to explain to the Ops Sup that inflatable monkeys on top of vans were not authorized. If this truly is a shoe clerk gone wild, all I can say is WTFO. Honestly, who calls a squadron to complain about this anonymously, and then cuts the monkey off the van? Harrumph!

[Guest TheBurt]

WTFO. Honestly, who calls a squadron to complain about this anonymously, and then cuts the monkey off the van? Harrumph! [/QB]

[Guest Hydro130]

I'm sure the old Camp Andy "Turdinater" (sic?) was long ago censored by the PC Police.

Sigh...

Cheers, Hydro

[ 18. September 2006, 23:13: Message edited by: Hydro130 ]

[Guest RedMan]

According to the interpretations of the Geneva Convention, he can not be spanked.

[Guest Clemsonpilot]

where did you post the signs? I just got back from the chow hall an hour or so ago and didn't see anything...

I will keep on the lookout ;)

also...the new net blockage sucks ass...

[HerkDerka]

Oh man. Thanks Hydro. The Turdinator and the Dookie Monster will never stop being funny.

HD

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by RedMan:

If this truly is a shoe clerk gone wild, all I can say is WTFO. Honestly, who calls a squadron to complain about this anonymously, and then cuts the monkey off the van? Harrumph!

Welcome to the suck.

HD

[Guest atmosphere]

me and some buds dressed up as ninjas at AUAB and threw cardboard throwing stars at an O-6 coming out of one of the aussie trailers. by the time we got out of town the next day the entire base was talking about the "unprofessional villains" who committed atrocities against an AF colonel. i'm pretty sure they went into defcon 4.

[Guest W'chee]

So, would issuing an entire squadron DCUs just for the plane ride there and back for "force protection" issues simply be a waste of money or an open admission that aviators are more important than REMFs??? :rolleyes:

[Guest Pan130]

3 beers a night...come on. You should have your own stash in your room that you brought over. There are plenty of places to purchase moral supplies when you do a couple of the good RONs.....wait that only applies to the -130/-17 guys. I caught one of our LTC's 2 nights ago pissing on the sidewalk outside our dorm. He had zero clue what was going on. 3 beers and an Ambien......right

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by Pan130:

3 beers and an Ambien......right

Mmmmmmm....Ambien challenge.

HD

[Herk Driver]

Originally posted by Pan130:

3 beers a night...come on. You should have your own stash in your room that you brought over. There are plenty of places to purchase moral supplies when you do a couple of the good RONs.....wait that only applies to the -130/-17 guys. I caught one of our LTC's 2 nights ago pissing on the sidewalk outside our dorm. He had zero clue what was going on. 3 beers and an Ambien......right

Been there...done that. Maybe just too d@mn lazy to walk to the toilet.

Of course, I know a guy who had 3 beers and an ambien and slept through a dude in his tent shatting himself. The whole tent cleared out for the night. No one could wake up the dude on ambien though. They opened the tent flaps to help with the smell and left him there until the next morning. And yes, the mad shatter had way more than 3 beers that night.

[Stiffler]

You know, I agree with all of this of course. But I know that alot of people that complain on a board, are the first to take their "morale" patches off or pull their sleeves down because they wanna make rank. Until we all just give a gigantic middle finger to the "shoe clerks" and rebel, it will go on.

There are alot of folks that read this, lets all pledge here to fight the system. Its even happening in the Guard, but we are still 10 years behind active duty shananigans.

[Guest HercNav]

Wasn't the AF Chief of Staff just making a case as to why we're out of money? Do AF funds go towards "hostile fire pay" at a base that doesn't qualify as a "combat" mission?

[Herk Driver]

Originally posted by hockeymv:

We've launched some recently, and as far as I know it's still CZTE. There were rumors about it changing at the end of the fiscal year, but I haven't seen anything for sure.

FWIW, there were rumors every year when I was there ('99 - '02) that it was ending as well.

Maybe there is a move to do it, but I won't believe it until I see it.

Sorry for the thread hi-jack

[ 21. September 2006, 04:08: Message edited by: Herk Driver ]

[Guest RedMan]

We've done it now. The shoe clerks sent out a memo. We are no longer authorized "stuff" on the vehicles. The posters were in the chow halls and caddies, and you probably saw the semi-base wide email asking for leads.

19 Sept 2006

MEMORANDUM FOR VCO/VCNCO

SUBJECT: Unauthorized Stuff on Vehicles

All VCO/VCNCO are responsible for there vehicles and what is put on them. Recently a number of vehicles have been either spotted operating or turned into maintenance with unauthorized items attached to them. This practice may seem to some to be a morale booster , when in it fact in the vehicle world these items can jeopardize the safe operation of the vehicle as well as endanger the vehicle and its occupants, and could lead to having a vehicle abuse case brought on the operator and your unit.

Extra license plates, inflatable animals , unit stickers, placards, or any unapproved identification markings are not authorized to be placed in or on vehicles that are being operated by US forces. Further, as a reminder to all, any and all attachments or additions, permanent or temporary, made to lease vehicles, must be coordinated through this office and be approved in writing by the lease vehicle vendor PRIOR to the vehicle being modified.

Please feel free to contact Vehicle Management and Analysis at 437- or 437- if you have any questions or concerns.

Vehicle Control Function

Vehicle Management and Analysis Office

[Guest Rainman A-10]

All VCO/VCNCO are responsible for there vehicles and what is put on them. [/QB]

Way to look stupid and while trying to look tough. Nice.

A good LPA would find a way to attach as much "stuff" (aka flair) to as many vehicles as possible, starting with the Vehicle Control folks vehicles. It should be permanent enough so it is difficult but not impossible to remove ( in case you have to remove it yourself ). You can easily mail order all kinds of crap and it will be there in a matter of days (we used to order Cubans off the web into Bagram before we even had a real runway...thanks Herc/Barney drivers for "haulin' the mail"). Other squadron ZAPs would really come in handy in a situation like this. A quick phone call home to your bros in other squadrons would result in dozens of people wanting to get in on the retaliation action...especially if you included a copy of that stupid memo and promised to send digital pictures of their squadron ZAP proudly displayed on windows all over base.

Technique only.

[brabus]

I want to know how exactly a unit sticker affects the "safety of the vehicle and its occupants" and is some how not a morale booster, but a terrible danger which might lead to a horrendous death! Fvcking idiots.

[Guest mshick06]

I was at the gym (stateside) today and saw a guy with a Deid shirt on the stated "Mission First" and the wing crest.

I can't attest because I have not been there yet, but from what I have read thus far... Priceless.

Midget

[Clayton Bigsby]

Yeah, that's the Al Udeid logo/crest. They slap that shit on everything. Hard to buy something at the 'deid that DOESN'T have "MISSION FIRST" on it...

...read the back of said t-shirt, it probably says "desert paradise" on the back. 'nuff said.

[Guest MeowMix]

Ambien, good times. First time taking it was on the way to the cadillac, brushing teeth and then it hit like 14 shots of cheap tequilla. Got dizzy real fast and scurried sloppily back to the room. Passing goofball copilot kicking some loadmasters A@@ on HALO2.............again.

[Guest LLoyd McPherson]

Originally posted by brabus:

I want to know how exactly a unit sticker affects the "safety of the vehicle and its occupants" .... Fvcking idiots.

It's all about CG, Baby!!! One sticker per side said the nice QA man

[Guest CrewDawg1]

Originally posted by Chuck Farleston:

Yeah, that's the Al Udeid logo/crest. They slap that shit on everything. Hard to buy something at the 'deid that DOESN'T have "MISSION FIRST" on it...

...read the back of said t-shirt, it probably says "desert paradise" on the back. 'nuff said.

Shouldn't it say, "MISSION FIRST, MORALE LAST!"

[Guest mernest]

3 beers a day...I don't miss that gay rule. Anyone on here been to Balad and the Deid? I found it funny that the Deid has shelters like every 10 feet but in Balad the majority are only outside of the DEFAC's. Also, i read on prior posts questions about PT gear. I was there about 6 months ago and PT gear was all that was authorized. Rumor had it that Rumsfeld went through there not too long before we were there and thought the place look more like MTV spring break than an AF base.