Best Deid Story

[HerkDerka]

In the spirit of the other Died post, I thought this might be intresting. Everyone who has done their time has at least one good Morale Suppression Police story. Let's hear yours.

I'll get the thread rolling:

So there I was. I was sitting Alpha with my crew and we jumped into the alert van to go to the chow hall. The AC (female) was wearing a pair of short shorts with the words "Roll Tide" on the back of her britches. So we head back to the van and a Major who had just gotten off the rotator one week earlier crosses the street out of her way to stop us and then berate the AC in front of the rest of us. Basically her reasoning was that her shorts were out of regs since they have writing on the seat. By the way, that is nowhere written in the Died's dress code. So my AC calmly listens to her tirade and then meek as ever retorts, "Ma'am, I do not believe that to be in the local regs. 15 days in theater doesn't give you much time to research. I think I learned that on my third deployment here." I still can believe the major didn't call our squadron commander. Classic.

We also had a new CP working in the tactics shop when a shirt from another unit came in and saw his mildly out of regs combat stache. The shirt didn't say a word. Instead he went back to his office, and sent an email to the tactics chief that the guys stachs "was out of regs and OFFENDED him" The tactics chief's reply? "Noted."

Why in the hell can't people at the Died worry about themselves. Way too many NSPFs with nothing to do but write and enforce regs to justify their deployment

I'll end with a quote:

When asked at a troop call when men and women were to longer allowed to be in the same room in billeting. A CC replied: "There are plenty of areas to socialize. Your room is for sleeping and sleeping only."

Chalk one up for bunker love.

HD

[TacAirCoug]

My favorite Died Fun Police story was from before the hard billets were open. In the spirit of the Christmas season, some aircrew decided to decorate one of the SMOKING GAZEBOS with Christmas lights. Soon thereafter, the fire department stopped by and directed them to take the lights down due to the FIRE HAZARD.

[Wing Sweep]

To carry on the fine FIRE HAZARD tradition...

As many of you know, we use the ponchos and poncho liners as room dividers to our spanctuaries when living in tents. When they finally moved us to hard billets, we continued the the tradition so that we had some privacy. Then along comes Big Blue... Big Blue decided to allow the AEW 1st shirt to inspect the compound dorms along with the base fire chief. They made us take down the poncho liners and told us we had to use use white linen to give us "privacy".

Also had cardboard boxes we folded and duck-taped to the window of our hard billets. They were 100% light proof, but the fire chief made us take them down and they contracted some hajis to put in curtains instead (which weren't 100% light proof). Funny thing is, they bought the curtains and the hajis never showed up. We were forced to install curtains we didn't want ourselves and they weren't light proof!

How 'bout them apples!

[ 29. July 2005, 14:17: Message edited by: gabe2surf ]

[Wing Sweep]

Two more stories.

Again not in Deid, but close enough. We were going back to our rooms in the crew vehicle. We were so tired from a long mish, we didn't have our seatbelts on when we went through the gate. The gate guard confiscated our i.d. cards and said we could expect article 15s because the base commander was sick of people not following his order concerning seatbelts. CJSOAC found out about this and he called the base wing king and said to him, "my boys are busy fighting a war, so please leave them alone." Good on our boss for standing up to the wing king!

We also had the reflective belt police harassing us constantly. We decided to start wearing "No Big Blue" morale patches and wrote AFPD on our belts. This stands for Article Fifteen Protection Device.

They even had posts detailing the latest violaters of orders instituted by the Wing King, along with their punishments. Some of them received paperwork for the above mentioned violations.

The chow hall stories could fill a few pages, so I won't bother.

Once the AOR bases turned into big bases, it was like being back in the U.S. or worse. When life throws us lemons, we have no choice but to make lemonade. It's little victories that help us make it through those deployments. :]

[ 29. July 2005, 14:42: Message edited by: gabe2surf ]

[Guest AF2ANG]

I was dating a guy who deployed to the Deid and while there I had sent him a few care packages. He was pretty well known in the squadron at home for being "Metro", so I thought it would be funny to send him a back-washing-girly-shower-poof-on-a-stick. It came complete with a stuffed bunny on the end, and was pink. Having the same sense of humor I have, he actally took it to the shower and used it. Well, while walking back to his room he had gotten some slack for it, and was told not to use it again. He hung it up outside to dry along with some other things and when he went out to get his stuff, everything was gone. He was later told that there was a new order which had come down stating that you were no longer allowed to hang clothes/towels/etc outside to dry and that from then on, anyone who disobeyed would have their items confiscated. They didn't give him any of his stuff back - not even the pink bunny back scrubber.

On the same trip, they decided that nobody was allowed to wear visor type hats.

People with nothing better to do than make hell hotter than it already is.

Michaela

[Scooter14]

Sounds like it's turning into PSAB all over again. I don't get it. Thumrait was no hat, no salute, wear whatever you wanted (within reason) in tent city, no big deal. PSAB was always "you're floppy hat is not floppy enough" or somethng gay like that.

We had a First Shirt try to chew out my CP because his ID card was not being worn properly in that ID holder thing you wear around your neck. Well, the problem was, the chow hall was upwind of our dorm, and the winds were about 30 kts. An ID card, believe it or not, will be blown (sts) backwards if you are walking into the wind. Well, we can't move the chow hall and we can't change the weather, but some pencil neck in starched DCU's on the "Pride Patrol" is gonna chew ass because your ID card is around your neck behind you.

[Guest lovelacm]

Originally posted by Scooter14:

...some pencil neck in starched DCU's on the "Pride Patrol"...

Originally posted by TacAirCoug:

...the fire department...

Originally posted by HerkDriver24:

...a shirt from another unit ...

I believe the US Army has a long-standing name for folks like this... R.E.M.F.'s (of course, we'd be called the same thing in the Army's eyes).

[ 29. July 2005, 15:55: Message edited by: Linda ]

[HerkDerka]

While REMF is good, I still prefer the term in my first post.

Way too many NSPFs with nothing to do

NSFP = Non Sortie Producing F**k. Very true in Diedland.

One more story for you. I always figured the MSP at the Died was due to too many people being deployed to a non-combat zone with nothing to do. So I had a chance to prove my theory while broke at Balad for awhile. I walked around in my flight suit with no patches on, an OSU baseball cap on, and my pistol clip-in.

I shit you not, not a single soul said a word.

What a difference it makes when the non-flyers are actually fighting a war. Either that or they considered me batshit.

HD

[ 29. July 2005, 17:01: Message edited by: HerkDriver24 ]

[Wing Sweep]

At a certain few places, a certain amount of time ago, we used to wear shorts, a brown T, baseball cap (of your favorite team or no hat), no salute, and an overgrown mustache. When we where in our bags, we'd have our SAW with us, pistol was off safety, and no patches.

Heck, remember the days when we could fly in shorts, boots, flak vest and our trusty helmet. Man those were the good times and definitely Kodak moments! Of course, there are still places where we fly that we still do that with a cool Mike Charlie(not the sandbox). It's funny how those things bring joy to us.

[Wing Sweep]

I'm sure even maintainers hate desk jockeys too. More than they hate flyers. Now that's bad!

[Guest Jetjock19]

Well my story has nothing to do with aviation, but its an excellent deid story. I am a crew chief that got stuck with TCN duty there and had to endure 4 months of watching these guys work. And it was the worst four months of my life. this is when we were still doing the Camp Andy thing. Anyways, while watching them clean the bathroom one beautiful morning, I noticed they were taking a long time to finish. So I went back to the shower to investigate, and saw something that has scarred me forever. Im sure that you all have heard the rumors that some of these guys like...(each other). Well, I found that rumor to be true when I pulled the shower curtain back and found two of these guys... (practicing their thrust movements). Shocked and not knowing what to do, I ran out and shut the door and locked it, then called OSI and the cops to sort this one out. Well, lets just say that bathroom was closed for awhile and those guys were removed from the base for good so they could spend more quality time together.

[Wing Sweep]

Outstanding story Jetjock! This one has to take first place!

[HerkDerka]

Not surprising. Getting f**ked in the ass is SOP at the Died.

HD

[Guest Jetjock19]

yeah, I thought ya'll would like that one. And its funny, even though these guys know they aren't supposed to be doing this, they still do. I am in Iraq right now and see that nasty a$$ PDA crap here too. Im just glad I will never be doing TCN duty again. Have a beer on me. mmmmmm....beer

= :D

[Guest SinCityAMMO]

Great stories! I'm heading to the Deid extremely soon and have found these stories to be both inspirational and disheartening. Oh well, I suppose every place is where you make it. I've already written "AFPD" on my light belt in preparation for the worst.....at least I'll have my guitar......is there anything good about the place? I know there are worse places to be.......In the meantime, I'll be working on tying one on for the last time before I go......thanks and great board Toro!!

[Techsan]

Originally posted by HerkDriver24:

Not surprising. Getting f**ked in the ass is SOP at the Died.

HD

Totally true...good observation HD.

[Cooter]

No more lightbelts in CC finally. I don't know how manu times I woke up in the middle of the night and got yelled at from across the compound for not having my light belt. Getting a stern talking to while doing the "I gotta piss hop" is so rewarding. I have to say out of all my trips this one is the most relaxed...buuuuut there is still stupidnous that goes on. My squadron out here had mandatory bed makings everyday and random weekly room inspections for 3 months...RETARDED! What are we twelve? Go to steak night at the CAOC you'll be suprised they actually use a grill. Other than that...it's still the same old Died.

Anyone going to be here Jan-May? Going back to crew dogging after my stint in the CA OC. I'll be this guy but with a mustache a F**KING huge one (STS)!

Cooter

35 days to go biatches!

Muff's back open btw!

[ 11. August 2006, 11:16: Message edited by: Cooter ]

[Guest SinCityAMMO]

Thanks for the intel brother....The Muff's the bar right? Good to hear that the AFPD's aren't required 24/7. Also, I'm bringing my guitar.....don't anticipate much of a music scene, but maybe play at church and it's definitely my escape........Jimmy Buffett anyone? If you put a lime in Bud Light, it taste's like Corona:)

Here's a quote from an e-mail I got yesterday with a reporting instruction change......WTF?? My XXL shorts are still painted on!

"Effective AEF 3/4, all Air Force personnel deploying to, or transient through Al Udeid (ALDA) will wear DCU, DFDU, or the Air Force PT Uniform only. Civilian clothing is no longer authorized."

[ 11. August 2006, 12:14: Message edited by: SinCityAMMO ]

[Clayton Bigsby]

Yeah, the 'deid was the last holdout, and now it's gone. I actually finally got my PT gear yesterday, just in case.

[Guest SinCityAMMO]

Dude, seriously......are there any civvies allowed at all? Do I need to bring 4 sets of PT gear? What about the pool/downtown? No one here seems to know s---! Thanks again.

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by SinCityAMMO:

are there any civvies allowed at all? Do I need to bring 4 sets of PT gear? What about the pool/downtown?

The Deid was the last of the holdouts, but I'm sure they've switched to PTs by now since October is the doom date. For downtown, bring some slacks and a knit shirt.

Originally posted by SinCityAMMO:

thanks and great board Toro!!

Toro is an admin, but Baseops.net is the sugar daddy for the board.

Originally posted by SinCityAMMO:

If you put a lime in Bud Light, it taste's like Corona:)

The Deid still had Corona last time I was there. Not as good as the days of the 16 oz. Tuborgs, but better than Budweiser.

Here's the thing about the Deid, there are plenty of worse places to be stationed. The thing that makes the Deid suck is the ridiculous amounts of REMFs there who have nothing better to do than make your life shit. However, MSP detachment have sprung up across the AOR, so you can't whine too much anymore. Besides, the ability to drink a beer does amazing stuff for your morale.

I'm glad to hear they got rid of belts in the CC.

HD

[Guest SinCityAMMO]

Thanks HD,

I just got home from my final out and they told me "don't even bring civilian clothing". So, there I was in clothing sales sifting through X-tra Small or XXXXL shorts and shirts, and I talked to someone who confirmed that downtown is still a go. I'm packing one nice outfit and 5 pairs of PT gear to keep from contributing to any stench. Hopefully, I can steer clear of any REMFs (impossible right?) and I agree about the beer......can't complain too much, even if it's only 3.

If Comm let's me use my laptop, I'll be contributing some good stories to this site in the very near future.

-SCA

[Cooter]

I would bring at least 6 sets of PT gear for the 3 day laundry turn around. I'm leaving right before 1 Oct when that all takes effect so I'm still strutting my civilain attire on base. The only place you where light belts is over in Ops and on flight line obviously. Don't get me wrong the Died is nice (it's all relative brother) and once you've been here 3/4 or more times you don't notice a lot of theings anymore, but yeah it still blows with all the REMF's. I get more emails on how to wear PT gear and other queep stuff that you just get used to it. Bring civies for downtown and possibly the trip home. There's been a lot of back and forth on whether or not it's DCU's or civilain and they can't make up there minds. One "big" decision coming down soon is whether or not you hqve to wear your cover while waiting for the bus. Oh and even better you can now wear sunglasses around your neck but not indoors for long periods of time, that's unprofessional. So we got that going for us now! Unfukinbelievable!

Cooter

[C17Driver]

I have a buddy that just reported they have ice makers in the DFAC...

[Guest Slilock]

Back in the summer of '04 I saw a Dyess Nav scale the beer tent and at the top (think nipple) of the tent he stuck his squadron patch under the opening. He then slid off the tent like a slide and I "think" broke his arm.

CE was booed the next day when they had a boom truck trying to take it down.