Not being a SNAP

[WHAP]

Disclaimer: Im a 2LT in the herk world. I dont claim to be an Old Head or anything like that.

So, I have avoided being a SNAP for most of my short time in the AF. Mainly be knowing that my job for the most part is to STFU and do what I am told without having to bug people about how to do it, but I have noticed lately a lot of people talking around this board on topics they have no experience in and really no business commenting on. The lack of search function use has always been a common problem, but whatever, dealing with that is like changing the tides.

So, I would like the Old Heads around here to share what they think people who havent put their time in (myself included) can do to avoid being a SNAP. Other non-SNAPs share your own lessons learned in your time in the AF. For you wannabees and ROTC types, now would be a good time to listen and only speak if you have some follow up question.

For my own lessons learned, very simply, STFU. Formation debriefs where ACs are discussing things dont involve the brand new CP opening his mouth unless he/she is being asked a direct question. Dont bug ACs, IPs, DOs, CCs, or EPs with simple questions that another CP, or FP for us MPD bastards, can answer. Dont ever start a task by asking someone else how to do it, search the local computer drives, look up the regs yourself, and after a few hours or days of comtemplation (depending on urgency of task) with no success, then think about asking someone. Take criticism with professionalism. The guy giving it is only trying to make you better and you arent gonna get, nor should you want, a hug afterwards. It should be a given that you will do your job well without expecting praise, so the AC/IP whoever should not be required to give you praise.

Now, Old Heads, please enlighten us, cuz we need it.

[Guest SpectrePilot]

"The Ultimate SNAP" by S&C

Well, the term SNAP has been out there long before it became a common deragatory term on this website. I first heard it when visiting an old buddy down at Tyndall as he was throwing a "dinner party" for some of the new Eagle-pups. (It was meant to be an old-school drinking party followed by an inebriated trip to the nearest strip-joint.) However, the kids he described as SNAPs showed up and most met one or more of the following descriptions.

A SNAP is/ may be:

-Usually married prior/ during/ immediately after UPT. Kids are already present or on the way.

-Does not drink. (Except spouse-approved wine with dinner.)

-Does not swear or use profanity of any kind.

-Attends church regularly and encourages others to do the same.

-Does not eat steak, ribs, or burgers. Chicken or fish only. Quite possibly a vegetarian.

-Is opposed to killing in general. May or may not be ready to annihilate the enemy.

-Often has a "what's in it for me" attitude. Increases significantly if trait number one is a factor.

-Political leanings often toward the left.

-Probably had no wash-outs in his UPT class. Sense of "entitlement" enhanced by this factor.

-Often lacks a bit in the "common sense" area; cannot think outside what was written in the book/ regulation. If the lineman/ crew chief does not give him a signal to turn, the SNAP may taxi his aircraft directly into the hangar in front of him....

-Is over-reliant on technology. If the "net's down", he may have no idea how to collect NOTAMs or get an idea of what kind of weather to expect.

-In keeping with previous attribute, a SNAP probably put his "whiz wheel" (flight computer) in a drawer somewhere during/ after UPT and no longer sees any use for such an "antiquated" tool. (This is assuming he ever learned to use it in the first place.)

-Despite the aforementioned habits concerning alcohol and diet, the SNAP may be a bit out of shape, possibly even overweight. Current AF policy does little to address or correct this. See next bullet.

-And finally, let's not forget the first word in the acronym itself: "Sensitive". The SNAP cannot be rebuked, bossed around, or corrected on mistakes with anything other than a kind word. Do not "dress him down", as this is no longer considered politically correct in the USAF.

Unfortunately for the SNAP, rather than having any problems he has directly addressed by superiors, he may instead be placed on "Super Secret Probation" and have no idea himself that his performance is less than desired.

That is all I have for now. It's been fun reflecting on the subject-- thanks for the thread!

[dmeg130]

Also known to complete SOS by correspondence, just to "help his odds" of going in residence...

Often volunteers to be the Sq/OG/WG exec...

Somehow always has a medical/social/personal conflict with the deployment schedule...

Thinks that ASBC was a really valuable leadership experience...

ALWAYS has an excuse for why they were 100' low, 10 knots slow, turned the wrong way, etc...

[HerkDerka]

SC now that was some truth right there.

Guys the biggest part of being a SNAP is having the modern Air Force attitude:

"I could make a lot more money on the outside."

"I want to focus on my career enhancement."

"A mouse farted in my room and woke me up, I'm going to call crew rest."

"My wife is having yet another baby, I'm not going to make this deployment."

"Don't tell me I'm stupid Eng, I'm an officer."

"I'm a victim."

"I'll be there after I stop by MEO. My IP yelled at me and I think he's prejudiced."

Safe to say that if you live in today's AF and don't feel that you were born a few decades later than you should have been...you might be a SNAP.

The true testament of the non-SNAP in the Herk world is to see how many Mag-Lite dents his helmet has in it.

HD

[ 02. May 2006, 17:36: Message edited by: HerkDerka ]

[Guest Hoser]

Anyone who gets offened by fear/sarcasm/ridicule/swearing/singing songs about other dudes wife / whore house, etc.

When in doubt, assume you have no speaking part.

Actually using an umbrella / briefcase.

As for the not-drinking thing, there is a difference. Just becuase you don't drink, it doesn't necessarily make you a SNAP (one guy in my last squadron was Mormon). What makes a non-drinker a SNAP is when he follows his "no thanks" with a "I'm can't, I'm doing the South Beach thing" / "I don't like the taste of weed/JD/Capt Morgan" / "I'd prefer a diet Myoplex"

It goes along the lines of always having an execuse for why they can't drink / push it up on a Friday / why they screwed up the in-flight execution (rock in my shoe / sun in my eyes), etc.

Hoser

[Guest evil load]

Late for showtime/briefing because he had to go to the BX because he ran out of hair care product. Maybe that is more metrosexual than SNAP...

As for not drinking, I agree with Hoser's statement. I would like to add that non-drinker = designated driver = rest of crew gets polluted = crew gets back to hotel safe and sound after bar closing and a late night trip to find a Wendy's for some Frosty's. Nothing wrong with that.

Married with kids before/during/after UPT? I disagree with this being on S&C's list. This should be an advantage if the person in question is flying on a multi-crew (officer and enlisted)aircraft. There is very little difference in taking an aircraft on a weekend TDY to St John's, NFLD, or a trip in the family mini-van with the hyper-active kids to Disney World.

[Vetter]

Best advice ever recieved: Never pass up an opportunity to shut the fizzzzuck up!

It has bitten me in the ass a few times, but I am too hard headed/apathetic to learn.

[Guest Aces-High]

Yea, I mean hell I might be a SNAP myself, but the blatant cockiness of some of these 38 studs and their inability to take a ribbing pisses me off. I'm mean yea they are good pilots (for the most part), but I think I am too, and I don't act like an ass. You'd think they just got back from a war they won all by themselves.

[Guest SpectrePilot]

The fighter-track student mindset has always been that way. Nothing "New-Age" about it. I thought I wanted to be a fighter-pilot once upon a time, until I visited Sheppard just prior to UPT-- changed my mind immediately.

What was really funny was watching my friends who took 38s change their personalities to match! Weird stuff...

[Hacker]

UPT is a big part of the problem. I recently heard the SUPT T-38 program called a "Self-licking ice cream cone of mediocrity" because of the IP cadre made up of 50% FAIPs and a leadership team that is proud of how few students it washes out.

[Guest Rainman A-10]

Originally posted by Safe&Clear:

The fighter-track student mindset has always been that way. Nothing "New-Age" about it. I thought I wanted to be a fighter-pilot once upon a time, until I visited Sheppard just prior to UPT-- changed my mind immediately.

What was really funny was watching my friends who took 38s change their personalities to match! Weird stuff...

Huh?

Whatever. The term SNAP came from the fighter community. It has been widely adopted. S&C's original points about SNAPS were mostly right on target (I especially like the New Age Super Secret Probation vs Old School you suck and we need to publicly warn everyone so they don't let you kill them technique).

Most of you guys might be interested to know there was a time when EVERYONE flew the T-38. Every single person wearing pilot wings. If you couldn't hack it, you hit the f*cking street on your way to a Titan missile site. Who cares if you're never going to fly fingertip formation after you leave UPT, you better be able to pass a formation checkride like you're Thunderbird 4 or you're on the street. No "I think I'll opt for the T-1 track because the T-38 guys aren't very nice and I really don't want to fly a fighter anyway" bullshit. If you couldn't fly T-38 formation you better be able to say either "Turn your key, sir", "Hang on while I fix our position using celestial nav techniques I learned at Mather" or "You want fries with that?"

The term SNAP originated from the Iron Ass Reagan Babies waxing nostalgic about the good old days in the fighter community when you were lucky to be in the 50% of guys NOT washing out of UPT and one of the few FAR guys to get a fighter. You shut up and did what you were told because the fight was with the USSR (for the survival of the entire planet) and most fighter guys weren't going to make it past day three of the war. The use of the term SNAP has spread throughout the rest of the flying community.

FWIW...

You don't have to drink or cheat on your wife to aviod being a SNAP. I don't drink or cheat on my wife and no one ever gave me shit about that. Ever.

I did smoke and chew and go to strip joints and stay out late and volunteer for every single deployment.

I have four kids. Does that make me a SNAP?

I had a couple kids born while deployed. That doesn't make me a hardass. I regret not being there and I'm very lucky that my wife is still around. However, being deployed was part of my job and I would do it again tomorrow. I wasn't having the kid, she was. I went to work. SNAPs seem to think they have to be at home, even if that means missing a combat/AEF deployment, just because their wife is having a baby.

SNAPs don't seem to like to go TDY. They have things to do at home. Things that don't involve flying military aircraft. They don't seem to understand that you only get to really fly the line for a short time and then you have the rest of your life to do things around the house.

SNAPs hate overseas deployments. Their wives complain a lot about them being gone. I never understood why a guy would not be having fun on a deployment. There is nothing like taking off with live ordnance intended for the enemy, even of you are likey to just drone around for a few hours and then come back home. You have the opportunity to fly a jet with live ordnance intended for the enemy...what more could you ask for? The resistance to these deployment opportunities are what bewilder the non-SNAPs.

SNAPs are often looking for the prize in the Cracker Jacks. They don't seem to understand that eating the Cracker Jacks is the point and who cares about anything else.

Like I said, things changed after we dismantled a bunch of Nukes and Desert Storm and the wall came down and we let girls wear flight suits into the fighter squadron to be pilots, not strippers. We stopped washing people out of flight school for no reason (or practially no reason). We stopped having strippers at the O'Club on Wednesday nights. We stopped thinking most of our bros in the squadron were going to get shot down if we went to war and the weakest pilots were going to go first.

Some things are better now, though. Like TSP. I wish I would've had 20 years to max that out.

[Guest SpectrePilot]

I guess I shouldn't have used the term "always been that way". Yes, just before my time (bout 6 months prior!), everyone flew the 38, so it was truly a melting pot of personalities. Fighters were then allotted more on skill, less on personality and testmanship.

So, it seems we have a new SNAP-trait: The kid who "tracks 38s" (or who's a FAIP in one) and therefore thinks he's already a fighter pilot who just "won a war all by himself"-- as a previous poster put it!

[slacker]

I had an F-4 WSO say this to me the other day describing his time in the AF,

"We used to drink whiskey and f#*k women, now we drink diet coke and f#$k each other (meaning-stab each other in the back- not sneaky-navy-man-love).

[Guest Navtastic]

Originally posted by 4fantrashcan:

Help me out here, who else is causing all our problems?

You forgot women. Apparently, it pains some of the esteemed members of the board that I have been allowed to join the club.

[Guest Hoser]

Originally posted by Navtastic:

You forgot women. Apparently, it pains some of the esteemed members of the board that I have been allowed to join the club.

I personally don't have a problem with women. The females that we in my last squadron were cool. They pushed it up on Friday's, drank, swore like a sailor, etc. In essence they were just one of the guys.

What pisses me off about anyone, man or woman, is when they are so easily offended when a song about loving someone's wife, or anything involving a dead whore by the roadside is sung, or someone's who is offended by another's vocabulary which happens to be filled with f-bombs, starts complaining.

Next thing you know, the SQ/CC is giving orders that certain songs can't be sung, or certain traditions involved with naming ceremonies can't be conducted anymore. I am very proud of the tradition and history of the squadrons that I have been fortunate enough to be a part off, and I have a personal problem when the sensitivities of one causes pain and suffering for many, resulting in the loss of tradition.

Last time I checked, our profession is to kill people and break things. If someone is offended by some simple words, they are in the wrong line of work.

Hoser

[Guest Hud Cripple]

I had a SNAP tell me that since his desire was to be at the unit the whole month we needed to give him continous mandays. I told him we dont need to give you crap because you choose to be here. If you are scheduled to fly or for a ground training item you get paid, if not you dont. He did not understand why I was being so difficult.

SNAPs are ENTITLED to what ever they want? I dont think so. But they sure the hell do.

[ 04. May 2006, 03:18: Message edited by: Hud Cripple ]

[FourFans]

If you have every said (and meant) the words "below my paygrade" in response to a request for help, you're a SNAP. Sadly, I had to witness such an occurance recently.

Edit: This applies regardless of paygrade.

[ 05. May 2006, 04:52: Message edited by: FourFans130 ]

[Guest Crusty21]

The temperature of the water is constantly changing. It certainly wasn't the way it used to be, and even then it wasn't the same as it was for my father, and even then it wasn't the same as it was for his father in the Air Corps. Some things we have no control over, and we can either deal or point fingers. I think the SNAP is merely a target to point the finger, but is not the root cause of the problem.

[Vetter]

Do you mean "above my paygrade"?

[Scooter14]

Originally posted by Vetter:

Do you mean "above my paygrade"?

I'm gonna bet no. "Above my paygrade" is an accepted phrase about stuff that happens that you truly cannot control. "Below my paygrade" is a SNAPs way of saying "I'm too good for that"

"Go fill the soda machine then bring these forms to Stan/Eval with two holes punched in them"

"Screw you, that's below my pay grade

[Guest Hud Cripple]

I appreciate your attempt at trying to identify his newness as an excuse for his SNAP behavior, BUT this attitude was just one example of this epidemic that has swept the military. The entitlement mentality/attitude is what I find that most SNAPs have in common.

Most of these guys are pretty good dudes. They are just a different generation.

As far a failure in leadership - I dont think so.

I want to emphasize that being new does not make you a SNAP! It is the attitude you have that instantly inspires others to label you a SNAP.

There is a cure for this. Come to work prepared, ready to work, dont whine, seek responsibility and deliver a product better than what was expected of you. You have to earn you peers respect and trust. REMEMBER - respect and trust is not an entitlement.

Did I mention dont whine?

[ 11. May 2006, 19:45: Message edited by: Hud Cripple ]

[Toro]

Big time revival. Just found this gem in some old files, written by (I believe) a Wing Weapons Officer.

SNAP INTERVENTION

Over the last few early morning MPC tours, when all you can do is sit around and wait for the MCOs to drop, I have had a couple of revelations. First, I hate SNAPs. Second, I find great pleasure in SNAP intervention. Prior to having all of this idle time, I thought that the source of all of my anger was stress. Now I realize that the catalyst for my ever-increasing “Case-Of-The-Ass” (COTA) is unavoidable, daily interaction with an unprecedented number of that scum of the fighter pilot breed – the SNAP. These parasites are infiltrating our ranks and disrupting our time honored traditions and customs. On a personal level, some of them can be all right. However, they don’t have a clue about what it means to be a fighter pilot. Many erroneously assume that only lieutenants qualify for SNAP-hood. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth! Over the last few years I have noticed that this fraternity, disregard – this sorority’s membership consists of many different ranks. Frankly, I’m not sure if any rank can be excluded from its pledge pool.

In times past, the strong crushed these weak links like June Bugs under Oklahoma streetlights. (You might have to be from Oklahoma to understand this analogy). I believe that almost everyone begins UPT with unlimited potential. Some rise to the challenge. They take full advantage of this dedicated education and learn from their mistakes. Others, namely the SNAPs, simply fuck it up. Traditionally, the strong were identified during the early phases of training and were targeted for a future in fighters. Today, the bar has been significantly lowered. The initial ID has slid to the right, sometimes as far as the first Ops squadron. Foul! I realize that it takes effort to build a fighter pilot from the ground up. Just like a father enthusiastically teaches his son to play baseball, older fighter pilots (at every level – not just IPs) are charged with the honorable task of educating the next generation. Historically, a focused RTU/MQT program combined with follow-on mentoring during the critical cocoon year, ensured a 90% success rate of transforming the amoebae into a full-up United States Air Force fighter pilot…the Austin Powers of pilots worldwide! The other 10% seemed to get stuck in an endless “OODA loop” of Blind, Stripe, making excuses & embracing radio calls, and then demanding an explanation. Eventually these folks riding the short bus were sent to “Other Jobs” where they could do no harm. But, instead of withering away they usually end up getting promoted early…so there’s still hope…I’m getting a big COTA just sitting here.

Today the SNAP population has increased exponentially! Where has the system failed? Why are there so many SNAPs? The system has failed because we have allowed it to fail. We can only blame ourselves for neglecting to nut-punch each and every SNAP as they popped up. The SNAP pop-up report criterion is ASAP. The shot doctrine is Rpi BVR weapons free. A little Frat while in hot pursuit of a maneuvering SNAP is acceptable. It usually takes more than one shots to achieve a 100% Pks (Probability of killing the SNAP). IPs, if in the past 5 years you have passed a STUD when you know you shouldn’t have, for whatever reason, you bought SNAP stock. If you have not taken the time to adequately debrief a sortie, you’ve bought stock. If you are now a majority stockholder, shame on you! Do us all a favor and find another job. We will all be better off without the likes of you. I’ll concede that even the strongest instructor has moments of weakness. If and when this happens, confess ASAP to the nearest weapons officer – you need to be exorcised.

I think there are many reasons why the SNAP population is exploding. First, as I previously stated, the bar has been lowered across the board in UPT/RTU and within upgrades in the squadron. KIO-KIO-KIO! It will take time to reverse this trend; therefore it is essential that immediate action be taken. We need to work at retaining our identity through our actions – our tactical prowess. I think we all know that paying lip service to chaff and flare is a bad habit. Let’s not pay lip service to our profession. If you are not capable of kicking ass, anytime, anywhere, you need to work toward that goal! Over the past few years, I have heard over and over again that we are too busy. I agree that we are shorthanded, but that is the hand we have been dealt. Quit whining (defined as bitching without a solution) and figure out how best to solve the problem. The only forum in which bitching without a solution is permissible is the Elbow. Barring that arena, do not pass up the opportunity to keep your SNAP-hole shut. Whining is a sure indicator that you have been infected with the SNAP! It is an insidious disease and most SNAPs do not even realize that they one until it is too late.

How do we fix this problem? We need to prioritize and focus on how to become better fighter pilots. The MQT/FLUG/IPUG programs need to resemble their purpose – i.e. combat capability, rather than just coming and going. The officers who subscribe to this “coming and going upgrade philosophy” will drag us into a state of unrecognized and unrecoverable mediocrity. We are the best Air Force the world has ever seen. Don’t let it slip through our fingers on our watch. This doesn’t mean that we should fly only 4v4s. This means that we need to teach the building blocks and hold their little SNAP feet to the fire. They will either sink or swim. Those who sink are better off flying something else. What good is a “Combat Mission Ready” pilot or flight lead that is not qualified or ready to go to war? No one is perfect, but we can definitely do a better job than we have done lately. Our Pks is at an all time low across the CAF. If you can’t debrief a CT sortie in excruciating detail in 2.5 hours, then you should never have made it through the FLUG.

It all boils down to education, training, and attitude. If any of these areas are not in line, you need an adjustment. Most SNAPs are SNAPs because they lack adequate training and/or were never taught how to be a fighter pilot. Flying fighters in the USAF should be a privilege, not a right. Old dudes get up and start working! Your duty is to teach the punks how to act, walk and talk fighter pilot. Never pass up an opportunity to bitch-slap a SNAP.

SNAP intervention is everyone’s duty. If someone is acting suspicious go offensive early – SNAP attack is the only mission where fratricide is acceptable. I have found that it gives me great personal and professional pleasure hunting these vermin. Give it a try and I think you’ll like it too – unless you are one.

Symptoms exhibited by SNAPs and recommended corrective actions: (Feel free to add your own techniques)

Minor Dose: Notify him of his SNAP status and administer psychotherapy. Use friendly voice inflection and body language so as to not to alarm or cause undue stress.

1. Whines about his schedule…”I can’t show 5 hours earlier tomorrow”

2. Whines about the having to mission plan

3. Whines about the need to work

4. Any Lieutenant that demands an explanation for anything, from anybody

5. Expects leave during X-Mas without prior coordination…then whines when it doesn’t happen

6. Wears socks with his sandals

7. Asks for food over the radio “ C/S is on the deck Code 1 – please bring food”

8. Any Lt that is too lazy to take off that damn reflector belt indoors.

Medium Dose: Slap his ass back on track. Aggressive but non-threatening behavior works best with this dumb ass. He needs to know his conduct is unbecoming of an USAF fighter pilot.

1. Needs an explanation before he’ll get off his ass to work

2. He worries more about his investments than his BFM skills

3. Feels compelled to share all his petty problems

4. The dreaded 500 hr Know-it-all…SHUT THE FUCK UP – JACK ASS

5. He will not make color copies of the map because he wants to save money

6. Afraid to frat during an Elbow…WTF!!!!

7. Any scheduler that schedules his own up-grade with Santa’s/0-5s and above

8. Any Capt too lazy to remove his reflector belt indoors

Heavy Dose: Needs immediate treatment. Start with a swift kick in the Jimmy and a week’s worth of shit details. However, he’ll need follow-on treatment, so be aggressive popping this zit

1. Writing in the Doofer book and not having the balls to sign your name

2. Fl CC or above that thinks the FLUG is all about coming and going

3. Cares more about his career than his flying skills

4. Doesn’t log bad deal sorties (i.e. instrument) on TAR and then whines about his sortie count

5. The all mouth and no action dude

6. Any O-4/higher that doesn’t have enough SA to remove the reflector belt indoors

7. Whines more than bitches

8. Tries to do everyone’s job but his own

He’s a goner: Send him to a job that restricts his access or influence over fighter operations.

1. Writes in Doofer and signs some else’s name

2. If he’s a Democrat

3. A patch-wearer that whines about MPC duty

4. Any officer that thinks he’s setting a good example wearing the reflector belt in FPCON B, C, or D

5. If you feel compelled to make this article gender neutral - you’ve missed the point

[Napoleon_Tanerite]

Seems a common trait among SNAPs is prior civilian flying time, and their willingness to let you know how things are different "on the outside". If this trait makes it all the way through UPT and onto the line, this person may be beyond hope.

And being married prior/during/immediately after UPT does not automatically qualify one for SNAP status, and being single definitely doesn't exclude you from said status. BEING A ###### WHIPPED BITCH is what makes you a SNAP. If you need to call home to ask if you can go to the bar/establishment of exposed mammaries/other location of ill repute, you are a SNAP, regardless of your legal status to your apparent master.

Same is true for guys who don't drink. No foul in that in and of itself. Lots of guys have their own reasons for it, religious, prior problems with booze, etc, and YOU'RE a dick if you try to force it on a dude if he clearly has a legitimate issue with it. What is not excusable is said dude using his desire to not drink as an excuse to bail on activities.

[Spoo]

SNAP = The guy who, when you offer him a beer, responds with: "No, I don't drink."

I don't give a shit. A simple "No" will do asshole.

[Crog]

For the record, SNAPs are not a new phenomena....