Rocker Posted March 6, 2005 Posted March 6, 2005 At water survival, they put a lot of emphasis on parachute training for everybody, but does everybody get parachutes? Obviously the ejection seat folks have that option, but what (if any) heavies do? Herks? And in that, what kind of training do they give us for that kind of egress? "Try to put it in a slight climb, and then run like hell..."
BFM this Posted March 6, 2005 Posted March 6, 2005 In the herk the parachutes are there for fun during times of extreme bordom. Situation: you are over the middle of the pond with a planeload of grunts. Everything's quiet (save 4 T56A-16s). The fligt mech (crew chief) hurries up front from his perch on the paratroop door, starts unstrapping the chutes and tossing them up to the cockpit. One of the troops asks if everyting's alright, he says "Oh, yeah, everything's great..."
Riddller Posted March 6, 2005 Posted March 6, 2005 We had a Herk crew play a funny on a crew member when they were flying w/ no pax... He'd fallen asleep on the paratroop door seat, so they saftey wired his boots to the floor, slowly descended to 10,000 ft., depressurized and everyone put on a parachute. They threw open the other paratroop door and of course he woke up with wind blowing all through the cargo compartment, everyone w/ chutes on, screaming that they were bailing out! When he jumped up to go grab a chute, he fell flat on his face! Good times, had by all!
Guest KC10IPTravis Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 In real planes, such as the KC-10, you're just like the Capt of the Titanic... going down with the ship!!
Bergman Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 135s have chutes, but they are convienently located in the far as* end of the jet where you would NEVER be able to get to them if you actually needed one.
Mambo Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 No such luck in the E-3, we don't carry them or have them...EVERYONE goes down with the ship!! Although I hear the FCF crews wear them during an FCF.
HerkDerka Posted March 7, 2005 Posted March 7, 2005 Not a bad Herk joke. But nothing beats having a new CP feather number four for the NTS overheat. The LOX guage is another one of my favorites. For PAX the best is to have the Eng walk to the back and ask the load for a ziplock bag because the Nav is feeling airsick. The Eng goes back up to the flight station and fills the bag with chicken soup and an 89 cent can of meaty chili. Then the Eng brings it to the back and gives it to the Load. He promptly pulls out a straw and starts to drink. And then watch all the grunts start to dry heave. Of course this one can backfire too. HD [ 07. March 2005, 09:43: Message edited by: HercDriver24 ]
Guest waxgoblin Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 ahh, imagine switching the joke around on the Load, when the nav actually is airsick. "ya man its gonna be chicken noodle soup.." [ 08. March 2005, 00:06: Message edited by: waxgoblin ]
Vandal Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 You people are SICK! And yet incredibly entertaining. :D
HerkDerka Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 Wax I dare you. Load's tend to be a bit smarter than that. No to mention the fact that you'll find yourself walking around with a nice and heavy chain in your helmet bag. HD
HerkDerka Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 And here's another quick couple of Herk jokes. I've haven't used them yet, but I hear they're pretty good. If you have a female crewmember, open a small can of tuna and put it under her seat. (WARNING: ONLY USE THIS IF YOU KNOW HERE VERY VERY WELL.) Get a sack of empty beer cans and toss one down through the flight station door about every ten mintues while airborne. Make sure to throw in the occasional rudder kick now and then. (WARNING: Make sure the grunts in back can take a joke.) HD
Riddller Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 Another one: With a plane load of grunts, get the pilot to go into a dive, have engineer runs to the back and grab the manual hydraulic pump handle (with it set so the fluid doesn't do anything) and start pumping furiously while the pilot starts climbing again. When he starts to slow down the pumping, the pilot starts to dive again. In no time you'll have a grunt that asks what the problem is. You tell him, "We need to keep pumping this handle to keep us in the air!!" They'll start rotating through each of them pumping on it for 10-15 minutes desperatly trying to keep the plane in the air!! Another one: Once the grunts are loaded, the engineer starts up the GTC (or APU, depending on how new your Herk is) but shuts it off at 20-30%. Do it a couple times, then put a worried look on your face and go back to the cargo compt. and tell them, "Well guys, we need some help. We can't get the GTC started, so we're going to have to get out and push the plane until we can pop the clutch on it." You'd be suprised how fast 40 grunts can get a Herk moving just by pushing on the back end!!
M2 Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 And then watch all the grunts start to dry heave...Yeah, the domino effect, get one to puke and the rest follow. Helps if you keep the a/c very warm as well... Cheers! M2
HerkDerka Posted March 8, 2005 Posted March 8, 2005 Heat up the cargo compartment! Dang. I forgot to most vital step! HD
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