Greatest Pukes

[Stuck]

I want some good puke stories. I have only experienced some aerobatics upside down/zero G pukes, and was wondering if you'd all share your most humerous yakking adventures. (ie: puke on IP/the scope/canopy/etc)

Cheers.

[Guest C-21 Pilot]

My first flight ($ ride) in the Tweet...last landing, rolling off the perch, began to "dry heave" and finally as soon as the IP took the plane, hurled all inside my mask, in the nose, etc.

Needless to say, the wife had the video rolling as I popped the canopy and my mask had all the old Honey Nut Cheerio, Diet Coke, and Green Gummy Bear mixture.

Still fun to watch and remember after 4+ years.

-Cheers

[Guest Demeeta652]

Man, I can't wait to see where this one's going!!

Cheers to having the day off because of Wilma

[AFCS_Actuator]

I puked my guts out this summer during a T-38 ride. I was sandbagging during a two-ship formation ride. I had not had a good night's sleep and showed up at the squadron not feeling too great. As soon as I step in the door one of the IPs asks me if I want to go on the flight. Of course I say yes. I'm not going to pass up a flight even if I wasn't feeling great.

So anyway, we're about half way through the ride and I'm feeling pretty green. I'm not totally sure what was going on around me, but the student in the other jet was practicing rejoins or something. Then it hit me. I had the SA to go to cold mic and proceeded to puke for about twenty minutes. The worst was when we would go into a three or four G turn while my innards tried to jump out of my mouth. There was no need for a conscious effort at G strain! I was puking so hard that my legs were curling up towards my body even at multiple Gs. It was the suck. A couple of times I had close calls and had to close off the bag during moments of less than +1 Gs.

After what seemed like an eternity, my IP said that we were done. I had recovered somewhat. The landing was a straight in, thank god. I was dreading a pitch out, but it didn't happen. As we landed I started feeling a little queasy again. It didn't help when we opened the canopy and got blasted with the 100 degree heat at XL. I sat there concentrating as hard as I could to keep whatever was left in my gut where it was. I had already filled up my barf bags. We pulled into our parking spot and the engines were shut off. As soon as the engines spooled down I pulled myself over the rail and puked down the side right side of the jet. I couldn't even get out first.

Man that was a great ride!

I've been fortunate to get 6 flights thus far. I've puked three of those times. I am proud to say that I've gotten all puke in the barf bags and I've always gone cold mic, so teasing was kept to a minimum. There was a recording going around of a cadet who had left his mic hot while he puked for what seemed like forever. That was funneh!

[ 24. October 2005, 15:59: Message edited by: Goin2UPT ]

[VL-16]

6 rides?! Holy shiznit, how did you hook that up?

[Vandal]

He's lucky that's how.

Mine isn't as fun as that but this summer at McGuire on my PDT we got a ride on a C-17. All was going well until I moved from the jump seat behind the co-pilot to the back as we were doing approches into Atlantic City. on the second or third time in things began to move. On the turn to final I got up and "walked" (not too slowly mind you) past the loadmasters and right into the shitter where I proceded to empty my guts for the next 2 approaches. My boots haven't smelled the same since. The joys of heavies, no need to use the barf bags that you made hand puppets out of earlier in the flight.

[Toro]

This is a second (or maybe third) hand story, that I heard from a Tweet IP. The story is that a student who wasn't doing so hot on one of his first rides wasn't really responding to the IP. The IP thinks he's hearing something of the puking fasion, but the kid still has his mask up and is (attempting to) fly the jet. Finally the IP turns and asks him if he's all right.

The kid just nods his nugget - as puke is dribbling out between the seals of his oxygen mask.

[VL-16]

ewwwwwwww!

[BFM this]

Early December morning tailwheel instruction ride in a Citabria. The heat outlet is at the firewall and airflow isn't the greatest, so my bud in the front has the heat cranked full up and my feet are still going numb in the back: he's baking.

Stud also fails to fill me in on the fact that he pulled a pizza delivery shift the night before and has all of two hours sleep, a Mt Dew and bag of chips in him.

Two patterns later at a grass strip (beautiful, *smooth* day, mind you) base to final turn, I see him squirm in his seat a little, something muffled and unreadable over the ICS, followed by his hands going up in the air stick-up style. Then the sweet aroma of undigested Mt Dew wafts back to my seat. I full stopped so that he could settle down a bit.

[BFM this]

Originally posted by Vandal905:

...All was going well until I moved from the jump seat behind the co-pilot to the back as we were doing approches...

Don't knock him too hard, blkafnav. I learned early on in the Herc how valuable a view of the horizon could be.

In the approach pattern at Cherry Pt, my instructor is perched at the window behind the co-pilot and I'm not doing so hot. I-Nav goes to the back, I start feeling better. I-Nav comes back, and I start feeling myself turn green again. I guarded my view of the outside world, as limited as it was, pretty fiercely after I got qual'd.

I took that lesson with me later on when I might have a new student, or just giving someone a ride in a plane. I'd tell them that as soon as they started feeling queesy, #1: tell me, and #2, look at the horizon--don't look down at thier lap unless they intended to puke there.

[Batman]

It was during Tweets at Vance. Went out to the area with my IP.

He's "IP demo"-ing split-"S" maneuvers and I'm starting to feel very, very queasy. I can feel my face begin to lose its color and turn the gray color of the leather on my gloves. My forehead is perspiring like a faucet, sweat is dripping onto my eyelids causing me to blink to shake 'em free. I take numerous deep breaths, trying to calm down. I do better when I'm actually doing the flying vs. the riding. My flying is going well enough for the IP to continue showing me new tricks that the Tweet can perform. Every time I start to feel better he says "my aircraft" and my stomach begins another roller coaster of queasiness.

However, the next time he gives me the jet I'm really feeling exhausted with hot flashes. Finally, I can't take it anymore and then I just "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaallllpppppppphhhh". The IP takes the jet and looks over to his left at me. I have my mask still attached to my face and a mouthful of breakfast and part of my lunch.

Without hesitating, I put my breakfast and remnants of my lunch BACK DOWN THE HATCH and open my mask to show a clean environment to my IP. I can still see him to this day looking over at my open mask, scanning left and right, up & down for vomit.

I felt so much better after hurling, even after I put it all back down. The hot flashes were replaced with refreshingly cool AC. The sweats were gone. After a minute or two the IP asked if I was ready to fly again and I said "yes, sir".

The rest of the sortie was great. We continued area work for about 15 more minutes and then headed back to Vance and the traffic pattern. IP never mentioned anything on the ground and I believe he never knew that I put the stuff back down.

Batman

[Champ Kind]

This thread makes me oh so glad that I never got airsick.....knock on wood.

[M2]

I ate lunch at an AAFES snack bar today...

You all know the rest.

Cheers! M2

[Guest lovelacm]

Middle of August a few years back... 110F OAT... 300AGL, dodgin' T-storms on the SR220A... Back of the Herk... It's Linda's Copilot Checkride and he's waitin' to get in the seat after the other kid gets finished... No barf bags to be found anywhere on the bird...

Ugly...

'Nuff Said.

[Rocker]

It seemed that I puked in both bus stops by the track at Laughlin one time walking from a party that I never actually made it to on my way back to the dorms. I had to stop to take a little "rest" there - I remember it being so windy, and I was in the midst of a 3:00 AM (very) drunk-dial to my then-girlfriend-now-wife in which I professed my love repeatedly and expertly recited boldface, and those bus stops were just damn good shelters. She was just happy I was being "safe." Not one of my finest moments, perhaps. Not my worst though, either.

[iFlyTexans]

Lets see...$ Ride in the mighty Texan. We go out to the area to do a get familiar w/ the jet, and of course my IP is interested in showing me what the jet is made of. We proceed to do some of my first ever acro. Fun stuff. Upside down, pulling G's...wow this is fun stuff right? OK, fun over, do the recovery back to Moody. Starting to feel a little tingle..."Turn on the A/C he says." Ok, I can make it :rolleyes: Got the A/C going, flying the jet onto the 45 to initial. Going green fast. I roll onto initial....oh boy, here it comes. I am now about a 5 mi final..."uhhh...sir...your jet." Almost made it...DNIF'd after my first ride...lame. Second flight, determined not to puke. FFWD to the full stop landing. Cleared the active...I've made it, but I am feeling a bit queasy still...reaching for my puke bag...no, screw this...going to be a man and...put my hand over my mouth creating the best seal ever w/ the good 'ol flight gloves. Yep, I shouldn't have ate those two burgers from the bbq at lunch. Good thing they were not digested, because they came back up tasting the same way they went down (sts). No evidence, no foul, no DNIF. Most discussing moment of my life...scarfing down my own vomit. All in the name of b-chair avoidance.

Cheers-ugh...

[Guest Rainman A-10]

I was giving an incentive ride to some airmen in the mighty UH-1N...

The co-pilot looks back to check everyone out and says "Uh, one of them doesn't look so great..."

I grab a barf bag and tell him to hand it back to her and make sure she takes the headset off before she gets started. The other passengers have a concerned look on their faces. I glance back over my shoulder in time to see her disconnect the headset but leave it on, pull the barf bag out of the envelope, tilt her head quizzically, toss it on the floor and proceed to try to barf into the envelope the barf bag was in. She fills the envelope immeditately and then tries to seal it shut. No way, it is plumb full and overflowing into her hands. She motions for another barf bag. I am trying not to laugh. The crew chief is trying to talk to her over the ICS (because she still has the headset on, with barf dripping from the mic) but he soon realizes that's a no go since she disconnected it instead of taking it off. He hands her the barf bag she threw on the floor and she puts the envelope in it and seals it up. I am trying even harder not to laugh. The crew chief is trying to get her another barf bag but he can't do it in time...I look over my shoulder just in time to see her pull her shirt away from her chest and barf down the inside of her shirt. Now I'm dying trying not to laugh but I become slightly distracted by the smell of puke. The crew chief puts on a gunner's belt and says he is going to open the door to get some fresh air into the cockpit. The girl looks a little better. The crew chief slides the doors open and her eyes brighten and she gives him the "thumb in the verticle" and he does the same back to her. Little does he know that he is answering her unstated question with a green light..."Yeah sure, go ahead and puke out the door." She is sitting in the center aft seat, right in front of the transmission. I watch her lean toward the door (but her face is still a good four feet from the door) and we are all thinking the same thing..."DON"T DO IT!" She does it. Puke swirls everywhere inside the cabin. Puke gets on every person in the aircarft except me because I kick left rudder so everything is blowing away from me. Little chunks of puke hit the instument panel with a particularly healthy chunk landing right on the co-pilot's main ADI. Chain reaction. Now everyone is puking except me and I am laughing so damn hard I can barely fly. I call back into ops and tell them we are going to need a hose and a bucket.

I land and everyone does the walk of shame, covered in puke while I sit there laughing my ass off. Unbelievable.

[Guest sleepy]

Rain, I think you won the trophy this time.

With that said, I'll embarass myself. Got sent to Oshkosh last year with work. First night there we're in the hotel, I've got my per diem, and livin' large. Shooting pool for beer, and I can't lose. The drunker I get the more the balls fall. I couldn't believe it. Not sure how many I had, but eventually I realized I should hit the sack. Two hours later, I woke up feeling like shit, so stumbled into the head and puked. Feeling much better, I went back to bed, only to wake up again two hours later to do the same thing. Moral of the story...don't ever play 9-ball with me when I'm drinking.

Later on during the week, I was at a party on the field. All the big wigs were there...the head of the EAA himself came stumbling by, ran into me and fell on his ass. I turned around to help some poor chap up off the ground, only to realize who it is. I laughed so hard and pointed he took of running hoping not to be recognized. Someday I'll tell my grandkids that I knocked Tommy P. on his ass.

[Ram]

Rainman...that's the best story yet.

[ 25. October 2005, 08:19: Message edited by: Fury220 ]

[ClearedHot]

As a spare CP I go to Pope for a week of dropping the grunts. It was August and part of the deal was we got a low-level on each lift. We are flying old E-model C-130's (who isn't), and the grunts are packed in like sardines. I am standing during the low-level, and it is typical hot and bumpy on a summer day in North Carolina. The loadmaster calls up and says “it looks like they are gonna blow”, I wonder over to the ladder and take a look at the most miserable group of dudes I have ever seen. They are packed in so tight they can't move and one near the ladder is looking very green. The poor dude is sweating profusely and trying to figure out how he can gracefully puke. With all the gear there is just no way the guy can maneuver. All of a sudden he looks up and projectile vomits onto the face of the guy across from him. Everything after that moment was surreal, as it set off a chain reaction and the back of the plane looked like a vomitorium. Dudes were puking in every direction like dominoes falling in a long chain. The stench was overwhelming and I had to park my face next to the AC vent upfront to keep from puking myself. When we landed and opened the ramp, the vomit was literally dripping off the back end. It was the funniest and most disgusting thing I have ever seen.

[Guest txaggie_99]

...Puke gets on every person in the aircarft except me because I kick left rudder so everything is blowing away from me....

That's some great SA. I can imagine that being told in the bar afterwards with the co-pilot looking at you like WTF? Good shit

[Guest sniprick]

Funniest thread ever.

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by Clearedhot:

Everything after that moment was surreal, as it set off a chain reaction and the back of the plane looked like a vomitorium.

Reminds me of the quote from Stand By Me.

"Lard ass sat back at looked at what he had created. A total barf-o-rama."

HD

[Guest blue19]

I have a strike-nav friend who lost it durring his checkride for PPL, I wasn't there but we let him have it and so did the flight doc. Gave him a hard time for his FC1, if he can't keep it together in a Piper how is he going to in a fighter, that was the docs reasoning. I hope he doesn't read this...left rudder, I love that story.

[Guest KoolKat]

I, personally, have never chucked the big one nor have I even seen vomit in an aircraft (yet.)

However, we did have one guy in primary (god bless him) that would bring 2, count them 2 EXTRA flight suits with him to the squadron.

Just in case he got double turned, I guess.

BENDY