Greatest Pukes

[Guest BloodyBrit]

Ipecac anyone ? ?

https://www.gkko.com/funny-videos/789/famil...drinking-ipecac

[brabus]

A guy at my det got a FAM ride in a 16 at Luke a few months ago. He ralphed inside his mask in flight. Then once on the ground, before getting out, he used his helmet as the receptible, thus effectively ruining the helmet and mask. The life support guys just said screw it gave him the mask/helmet. Lucky bastard. Now we all know what to do on FAM rides!

[Guest masekrs]

My first solo back in a 152. I didn't sleep well the night before nor did I have anything for breakfast. I also had quite a fit with airsickness when I first started flying. Anyway, TN air tends to get warm and bumpy in the summer as was the case this day. The combination of these factors plus nerves just got to me. I got extended out behind a Baron after I asked for a full stop before I finished my touch-n-go's b/c I was not feeling well. On final I upchucked (not much because my stomach was empty) and swallowed once on final and then, before my nosewheel hit the ground, I had my head out the window puking/dry heaving halway down the runway.

On to drinking story:

I was walking with a friend over to someone's apartment for a party. I was already piss drunk at this point and he offered me some dip. I've never dipped. The tobacco did me absolutely no good. When we got to the apartment I had had enough. I threw myself into the bushes right next to the door and proceeded to puke up half of my large intestines. While I'm there the security gaurd comes out and asks "Is he alright?" To which my friends reply, "Oh yeah, he's just looking for his cell phone." Surely he didn't believe that, but he let us in anyway. Usually when I puke, I feel better. Not tonight. I got up to the apartment and posted myself right next to the kitchen sink. To the disgust of everyone I puked in that. Not much puke as I didn't have much left. Needless to say, I took off after that. The walk home is about a quarter mile. I decided about a 3rd of the way there that I just wasn't going to make it; so, I bedded down in some bushes next to one of the academic buildings. Fortunately there was an exhaust vent there to keep me warm because it was January in St Louis. I slept there for maybe 2 hours or so before I got up and stumbled home. I guess everyone does something well, mine just happens to be puking.

[Stuck]

HD,

Almost the same story. My buddy is an SP and sat next to the new kid on a packed in Herk ride. The kid was from the bayou or something and had never been in a plane before. Naturally, my buddy brings some campells soup along hiding in his BDU blouse. When he "barfs" the extra chunky soup into the kids lap, he starts the chain reaction ALL THE WAY around the Herk. Everyone went from laughin to yakkin. I heard that the pilot had to declare an emergency and get it on the ground because the smell got into the cabin...

Cheers.

[AFCS_Actuator]

Man, this thread is like therapy! I can't stop laughing.

[Guest Navtastic]

I keep laughing, but I can't help but think I'll see plenty of this in my career. Here's to my iron stomach, and any stories I'll be able to add in the future...

[Stuck]

Man, I'm glad I started this thread!

One from me:

Doing aerobatics in an Old Texan. I'm in back. Was told I would not be flying that day, so I wolfed down a big old sourdough jack from Jack In the Box right before I strapped in... I do my routine, and I'm fine, I dont pull past four G's. (The old T-6's can push 6 1/2) Then the front seat PIC takes over and just goes nuts. Its the first time I've flown with him and we're doing every trick in the book. I feel the burger comin and go for the barf bag- Right when we roll inverted and fly level. Now I'm trying to puke into this bag upside down, looking up at the ground, and I dont do to bad. I'm still heaving when we roll back level. I finish up and I think he's done with his routine for a split second and bring the full bag down to my lap. Right on cue, he noses over into a negative 3G dive and the puke shoots right out of the bag all over me, the back seat, the console, the canopy, I mean, SPLASH! The stuff went everywhere. Chunky sourdough jack pieces flying all over the cockpit as he finishes the routine. The second we landed, the guys made me pound a beer and smoke a cigar- five minutes later- BLaaaahhh!

Cheers.

[Toro]

Rainman, that was quite possibly not only the funniest puke story, but just flat out the funniest story I've ever heard.

Also, for those who may not have gotten a chance to see it the first time, there's the puke-o-rama story from the Deid that turned into a total nightmare.

[Guest illini52]

I went on a UH-60 ride once a few years ago with some of the guys in my unit. The Blackhawk crewchief told us that anyone who puked would be cleaning it up. No problem I thought. We started doing some + G maneuvers and tight turns etc. The guy a few seats over proceeds to puke, but not wanting to clean up the chopper, holds it in...the whole time. This was like a half hour flight and this happened right at the beginning. Everyone kept trying to give the guy their hats, but he wouldn't have anything to do with that. His cheeks were all puffed out like a squirrel the whole time we are doing evasive maneuvers. You could see the crew chief talking to the pilots and them turning around every few minutes laughing, which made it even funnier. Upon landing, the kid runs out the door and barfs all over the ramp.

I think I have the episode on video somewhere...

[Guest vegas]

first TDY of my casual status. We took a tanker up north on a training mission. Fresh out of college with a good 5 years of heavy drinkin under my belt. Long story short, after bying some pitchers for the crew the rest of the $185 tab (in 4 hours) was mine (had to keep up with the AC...he's irish). needless to say i was a f-ing wreck...told the taxi guy to drop me off on the east side of the flightline (i knew my room was around there somewhere). After stumbling back to my room and waking up the CO to see what time our bus was, the next thing i remember is laying, fully clothed, crossways on the bed (didn't even untuck the sheets) and puking uncontrollably (with some pretty sweet sound effects). I remeber thinking..."dude, your puking all over yourself" and the drunk guy in me decided that that was totally ok and decided to fall asleep anyways so i'd be "rested" in the morning. Woke up late for the bus, alarm blaring and in a pile of my own vomit. I stumble down the stairs in my bag, minus any undershirt and try and pass it off that i "lost" my shirt. they'd have believed me too had it not been for the dried king crab in my hair from the night before. Needless to say...the 8 hour flight home sucked...and now that i think about it...so did that story

[Guest blue19]

ahhh...those inner drunk guys with their perfect and logical reasoning.

[Guest vegas]

oh yeah...and my buddy still pukes during his IFT rides...15 degrees of bank and 1.5 G's sure is rough...

[Cooter]

In the RC-135 community we've got so outstanding pukers, I mean pros! When we fly fully crewed at home it usually involves a few hours of touch and go's. All well and good for the front end guys but for us back end guys it gets...interesting. Last time I was home for about 30 days and flew a sortie with some school house guys...WOW. This poor kid on his first flight had to endure 2 hours of pattern work and couldn't keep anything down. He proceded to fill his helmet bag about a quarter of the way. Now those things aren't ziplocs so as he's coming down the airstair he's carrying a bag dripping with vomit as we're all laughing hysterically...until he gets on the bus and the smell hits us. I don't think anyone had there head in the bus back to the squadron. When we're home flying it's not suprising to have 2-4 people horking their guts out in the back. It's also great when they pass it up front to put in the trash next to my station...whew.

[*]

A few years ago, shortly after I recieved my PPL I am up flying with a buddy in a relatively brand new 172. We take care of a little x-country flight and half of the way back my friend starts searching for a bag. Well we can't find anything so he tells me he's going to unload in his camera bag. Well, the bag looked pretty nice and I didn't have any clue about what the words I was about to say would cause.

HIM: I'm gona go in my camera bag

ME: No way, that looks pretty nice. Open the window and stick your head out (over a suburb by the way).

HIM: You sure?

ME: Yeah???

HIM: Well Of course spraying the mic and causing a lot of wind noise on the intercom.

It is now that I found out how much of a dumbass I really was. One window open formed a cyclone of vomit in that tiny cockpit. Circling around and spraying my neck, sticking to the windscreen, and everywhere else. Chunks of lettuce, crutons, and other tasty morsels covered me. After the first few rotations I open my window to stop the cyclone.

Now I had three problems. I am not feeling so good, I can't hear ATC, and I can't hold alt due to two open windows.

Well, ATC gets pissed, I don't , and two hours after I leave the airport (after we thought we cleaned up enough) my CFI calls me pissed. See, the owner was flying after us and hopped into his new 172 only to find some treats. That leaves the students CFI to clean it up.

Yeah, were on me that night.

[Spartacus]

OK, so this is embarrasing.

I'm at Field Training and I learn that I get to do JETO at Moody. I'm thinking that the T-6 is going to be awesome. However, the day before we leave I start to get a bad cold and even had an ear ache. My stomache would also rumble and I had... well, bad stomache "issues." BUT, I don't tell anyone because I wanted to fly in the T-6 SSOOO bad.

After only getting about four hours of sleep we're at Moody going through all of the egress traing etc. and I'm feeling better so I decide to down a snickers and some pop. (Bad idea)

Finally, I get to the IP who will be flying me around and he asks if I've ever flown before. I tell him that I had a couple hundred hours and he's thinking "sweet let's get out there and pull some G's!"

We take off and he let's me take the plane. I'm flying all over the place and doing everything that I can think of... it was awesome. Well, he then takes the plane and starts "pushing it", (at least for me it was pushing it) and I start to feel pretty bad. I turn on 100% oxygen and it didn't do a thing. Suddenly, he puts us into a tight bank and I see darkness coming in on me from all over. I'm thinking, crap I didn't strain so I do the G strain and everything was ok, but I realize that I'm about to blow chunks any second. I frantically pull the barf bag out of my pocket but I was already letting it go. However, I was able to keep all of it in my mouth and I swallowed it back down. This only made it worse and I felt it coming back up. I tried for about 20 seconds to get my stupid oxygen mask off but I had never worn one before so it took a long time. Right when I finally get it off(sts) I puke a little in the mask, a little in the bag, and a lot all over myself... and I mean all over. During this I had thought to kill my mic and I never told the IP what was going on, but there was no hiding it now. Right after we land the IP asks how I liked it and I told him that it was great but that I puked a little. He was like "When did you do that?" He then asks if I got it on anything and I said, "Well, uuhh, yeah a little." After we parked he jumped out and looked back at me with puke crusted on my chin and all over my body. He just started to laugh and said "I'll see you back at the squadron." I sat there for an hour cleaning up the plane and then made my way into a maintenance hanger to wash off my clothes. I was in the bathroom for another hour in my underwear waiting for my uniform to dry enough to put back on, while dudes are walking in and giving me funny looks like I'm going to try something on them or whatever.

I finally walk back to the squadron and everyone is laughing at me and saying HEY ACE etc. My IP I think felt bad and he showed me around and talked to me about UPT for the rest of the day.

Another funny part about this story is that a Moody IP came to my Det a few months after that and talked to us about UPT. While he was there he told everyone the story of this Cadet that puked all over himself more than anyone had ever seen while he was doing JETO. The IP didn't realize that it was me so I just sat there and turned red as my buddies laughed at me because they knew that it was me.

Good times! I can't wait for UPT!

[Guest masekrs]

Since we're on a disgusting subject, does anyone have the video of that guy shitting himself and then having to call ATC and go back. I looked all over the place for it here and can't find it. It just makes me laugh everytime I hear the guy trying to figure out how he's going to explain it.

Thanks

Steve

[Guest lovelacm]

"2's RTB with a Brown Slider..."

What a great radio call! I love the fact that you can hear lead laughing hysterically on the radio in response.

[Guest Mary G]

This is a well-timed topic as I just got back today from PHIK and managed to puke my way all the way across the Pacific. After the 4th time I rushed to the lav my AC realized why I kept getting up and proceeded to laugh his ass off.

Granted, it was due to a little stomach bug of sorts - but I've never had to puke in any aircraft and I plan on making sure I never do again - it made for the most unpleasant 4.9 hours of my life.

[Spartacus]

Steve just reminded me of another story that I had happen.

I was working at an FBO and I see one of our planes going around. The plane going around called and said that a plane had just crashed at about the 1000' foot marker off of the runway. (There was no tower or security or anything at the airport so we called 911 and started for that part of the runway.) I was one of the first to get to the site. The guy had been flying an RV-6 and ground looped it on landing. He skidded off of the side of the runway and bent up his plane a little but he was ok.

So, I'm helping the guy get stuff out of his plane and as he bends over to get something (by the way he was wearing white khakis) several of us all notice at once a huge brown spot!

Yuck! Enough said!

[Guest vegas]

Steve07-06...i've never seen a video of it, but here is the link to the soundbite...

https://www.flash.net/~kennieg/backseat.wav

[Vandal]

I love that bite. I have it downloaded on my computer and the guys at my house freakin love it

[Guest masekrs]

I thought there was a video of the hud. Maybe not. Thanks for the soundbyte though. Makes me laugh every time.

Steve

[Guest CabDriver]

When I was stationed at Hill, we had an Avionics troop get a ride and he sh!t himself on takeoff. They were cleared to go vertical and he took a dooker in his flight suit. When they got back to chocks he didn't want to get out of the back seat....he couldn't stay back there forever.

Rainman, you get my vote on the best story though. BRAVO!

Cab

[Guest jmac2222]

This is all I have...

We were in CENTAF during the summer on a C-130. It was hot. We were wearing protective gear (dont ask me why). As the plane loses what seemed like a lot of altitude the guy next to me gave a full firehose spray on the people across and to the sides during the landing. On the way back home no one would sit next to him.

I have also seen alot of peope puke when they get sprayed by Mace at MP school.

[Guest egovolo]

I remember taking a ski trip to Canada with a bunch of guys from the flight program in college. The snow, or lack thereof sucked. So what else was there to do except head for the pub. Well there were several empty pitchers on the large table, and then the band started to play "You've lost that loving feeling"

So you have a room full of pilots, who have all seen Top Gun who are quite pissed at the moment. We all start singing and ordering more pitchers. Well the table was about 8 feet or so in diameter, and covered in empty pitchers. All of a sudden the guy next to me starts getting really quite and turning green. "You ok man?" I ask. He nods his head, stares at the table for a minute and projectiles all over the place. He was on my right, I look the the left and that guy is staring at the vomit covered table and then launches. All the time everyone is trying to grab pitchers to fill up to keep the mess down, kocking over glasses and the few remaining half empty pitchers. What a mess.