Practical Jokes / Pranks

[Stuck]

Great Puke stories, especially Rains-

Now its time to share greatest practical jokes. Garlic in the oxygen mask, rotting whatever behind the pads in the helmet, anything and everything- Have at it.

[Cooter]

I'm new to posting here but I read this board all the time and just had to join in after some of these great topics. I'm currently out in the Died as an RC-135 EWO so jokes abound out here. There's always the classic barricade someones room with cases of water which if you've ever been here and woke up at 0300 to run to the Caddy you can imgaine the hilarity of some guy crashing through them to get there. The last one we pulled involved switching the doors of our CC and DO. All well and good until the DO is trying to answer the phone in his room while his wife is calling and his key opens an entirely different room. Another involved inflating a pool float in someones room and filling it with water. Boring times get the gears moving in the old nugget, we leave in just over a week so it's going to interesting to see what goes on.

[Guest Hoser]

While I was a Flt/CC, a good buddy of mine had left a post it note under my computer mouse. When I picked up the mouse, the note read "I stank palmed your mouse. Jefe" For some reason, I decided to put the post it note into my desk drawer for safe keeping. About a week later I was in the Sq/CC office (probably signing OPR's, which I hate, but that is another thread) and I recalled still having Jefe's post it. Since he didn't address it specifically to me, I figured it would look sweet under the SQ/CC's mouse. When he returned from his Thursday meeting's of hell, he summoned me into his office, told me Jefe was grounded, and told me to bring Jefe to his office. I damn near pissed myself at this point. I brought Jefe to the CC office, to which he was greeted with "Jefe, your grounded". I was doing everything in my power to not lose it. I made it out of the office without blowing (STS) my cover and confessed to Jefe. We both laughed and the CC thought it was funny too. Jefe wasn't grounded after all, but I never told the CC that I was actually the culprit.

Hoser

[ 26. October 2005, 21:10: Message edited by: Hoser ]

[Bergman]

Best one I've ever been a part of was punking our incoming squadron commander. During the change of command ceremony, a bunch of us stayed behind and completely emptied his office (including bare walls, no blinds, etc)...save a folding card table, a big orange Gatorade jug for a chair, and an old rotary dial phone. Picture "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". This was about a 15'x15' room.

He comes back to the squadron with his parents, wife, and kid in tow beaming like a school kid while giving them a tour of "his" new building. Imagine his surprise when he opens his prized office to find...nothing.

About a year later we filled the same guy's office with packing peanuts to a depth of about 5'. He took both jokes in stride and we all had a good laugh.

[Guest vance161]

A fellow tanker crew chief I served with in the Air Force at K.I. Sawyer told me this one years after the fact:

He worked at Tonapah during the Have Blue (F-117) project.He had an indentical twin brother who was a weapons troop,both SSgts.

Keith's brother would quickly crawl in the A-7 tailpipe(with the other pilots watching from a hidden spot)and Keith would greet the new pilot at the acft,mutter something about needing to do an intake inspection,and disappear down the long Corsair engine inlet.

His brother would then emerge from the tailpipe pronoucing the jet "good to go" sir.The hidden pilots always got a kick out of it Keith said :cool:

[ 30. October 2005, 15:08: Message edited by: T-6 crew chief ]

[Scooter14]

I had two -141 buds of mine turn the peephole in my Altus dormroom door around on me one day when I stepped out for a bit. I never noticed it. The next day, I came back from the gym and stopped by their room on my way back to my room, which was a few doors down.

Well, after I closed my door, one of 'em ran down and looked through my door and gave signals to the other guy, who called me on the phone. Of course, since I am fresh back from the gym, I have my sweaty shirt off, and I'm standing in front of the mirror doing my best Stallone poses, because I think it's just me. Then the phone rings...

Hello...

"Hey there, you're looking pretty huge, all back from the gym all pumped up!"

Uh, thanks...(looking around)

"Hey, we'll catch you later!" Click.

This went on for a while, and every time I sat down to do something, like turn on the TV or grab a book, I got a "Hey, watcha watchin'/readin'?" or someting like that.

Finally, as I was searching my room for about the 69th time trying to figure this out, I noticed the peephole had been turned around. I ran and threw the door open and the guy at the door damn near fell into my room. Even though it happened to me, I still think it was pretty damn funny.

[Guest mphamer]

Back in the day...

I was crewing A-10s TDY at our German det, we had a new pilot who was a total ass,(...imagine that, a fighter pilot acting like an ass!) Anyway, after his first mission that day he bragged about "flying so low, I was clipping the treetops" So after his next mission as I marshalled him in, my buddy snuck up behind and jammed a big leafy branch in the bomb racks. When I connected the comm cord I laid it on thick:

Me- "Holy Sh*t, Sir you must have been really low this time!"

Pilot- "Wa..Wa..Wadiya mean Chief?".

Me- "You've got some major damage here Sir, there's even a tree branch in the TER.

Pilot- "Holy Sh*t!"

He scrambled out of the cockpit, came around the nose, saw the tree branch and fast walked straight to ops. Our Chief had let the ops CC in on the joke and he played along for at least an hour before he let the kid off the hook.

He came screaming out to the jet and gave us a serious ass chewing but from then on was pretty humble and a decent guy.

[ 27. October 2005, 13:05: Message edited by: mphamer ]

[Nanook]

There were a huge number of practical jokes played on new SAC alert crewdawgs...woe to the roommate of a FNG, especially one who bragged that he couldn't be had. Sprinkle Kool-Aid in flight boots and tap it to the toe and your bud will have dyed socks and toes for a while...fill a non-lubricated condom with hot water while supporting it in a 5 gal bucket, tie it when you get all you can in there(a few gallons) then roll it on the poor sap's unmade bed; it will expand until almost flat and cannot be moved without breaking...reset all your bud's clocks and alarms and convince him he woke up and showered for the morning brief, only it really was midnight chow....immerse his bag in a 5 gallon bucket then put it outside to freeze solid...perform a cart start, tape the flightsuit arms and legs tight to the bod, then can-open 2 cans of shaving cream and quickly throw them in his bag and zip it all the way up...the list is almost endless. Ahhh, the memories.

[Rocker]

I heard an instructor talk about a good one the other night - the tubes that run down the tops of each side of the windows on the flight deck of the Herk that the visors are attached to are hollow (and about 1/4" in diameter) and they are two separate tubes. They start on each side a few feet behind each pilot and wrap around to the front along the top edge of the window frames and leave about an 8" gap between them where they stop, and in SKE equipped planes, the SKE radar is kind of obstructing where they let out. But they're hollow, and the ends are open. This guy was telling us about a time where the engineer got up out of his seat for a minute and lit a cigar while the pilots were busy flying. He then goes up to the open end of the tube behind the copilot and blows the thickest smoke he can slowly down the tube. Flying along happily and then suddenly "Oh shit, everybody on oxygen we have smoke up here!" All the pilots can see is smoke slowing appearing from behind the glareshield somewhere. And the engineer just chuckled and enjoyed his cigar (the OLD days, apparently). Ha ha, electrical fires are fun!!

[ 29. October 2005, 01:22: Message edited by: Rocker ]

[Murph]

Fresh steamer in the terlet (aka honey bucket) blamed on the loadmaster never hurt anyone.

[lloyd christmas]

It is always fun to pass a puke bag full of pea soup through the back of a 130 full of paratroopers. Of course when it gets to the loadmaster in the very back of the plane he digs right in and eats every last drop. On a nice hot low level route these guys end up puking into their helmets and down their shirts.

[Wing Sweep]

Here's a few classic things I did as an old Load toad.

1. While TDY with rookie Co's or Navs, I'd put one or two 10k chains into their luggage bags. Heading to the hotel, they'd complain about how their bag seemed much heavier only to realize once they got to the hotel that indeed it was heavier from the extra weight of the chains.

2. (I think every seasoned Herk crew has done this). While dropping guys at Lawson AAF, bringing empty beer cans and throwing them down the flight deck steps so the Army guys think the pilots are drnking and flying. Just make sure your Load tells you if there's high brass jumping out the back or not. You only do this antic when you have the regular Jumpmasters in the back who've seen the trick a million times before.

2(a). While dropping guys at Lawson AAF, having one Load fill up a puke bag with chunky beef stew (while pretending he's throwing up). The"puking" Load then gives the bag to the other Load who then proceeds to eat the "puke" which in reality is tasty chunky beef stew. This in turn, creates a domino effect of Army guys puking!! Good times!!!

3. When I was a slick guy, our crew chief asked one of our new navs at Lawson AAF to ask the Jumpmasters for some prop wash. Being a new nav, he wanted to be helpful. The JM's referred the nav to some helo warrant officers who gave him a 5 gallon closed container filled with water. They nav carried the 5 gallon container from the big hangar where they keep all the students all the way back to the plane (at least 1/4 mile). The crew chief then pretended to do the smell test to the "prop wash" and then threw it all out. He told the nav, "where the F did you get this prop wash from? This sh&t smells old!" The disgruntled nav at this point tried to pull rank on me and make me go get some prop wash, to which I replied, "You've been punked!" Not really those exact words, but you get the drift.

4. I know of a disgruntled crew chief leaving pubes on officer's boom mikes. This crew chief had a issues! Heck, I wouldn't even trust him to go buy me lunch. I was always worried after he told me that story he might try to "hook me up."

[ 29. October 2005, 08:45: Message edited by: gabe2surf ]

[HerkDerka]

Chains in the pubs bag is definitely an oldie and goodie. NTS overheats, the lox guage, and air sampling are always good too.

HD

[C17Driver]

Kind of similar to kool aid in the boots, but sea dye marker in the boots works much better and lasts much longer!

And don't forget about the radar tests (foil required)

[pbar]

We had some young WSOs put a BDU-33 25lb practice bomb in our squadron Weapons Officer's luggage while we were waiting for the charter bus to take us to the airport for a deployment to Nellis. He commented about how his bag felt heavier but boarded the bus anyways without checking. When he got to the check-in counter, he was told his bag was too heavy and so he opened it up and moved some of his stuff to another bag. He nor the airline rep noticed the bomb. It wasn't until he got to the VOQ at Nellis and started unpacking that he discovered it. This was before 9/11 of course... The TSA definately wouldn't be able to take a joke like that now.

PBAR

Bone WSO

[Guest pavesooner]

I made a powerpoint flyer about starting a Star Treck Fan Club....Meetings every Tue at the base library...speaking klingon...costumes...etc.....

Then I walked around the squadron for a victim who left their computer logged on....

I sent it to several squadrons on base....

That guy got all kinds of email responses....

everthing from great idea, I can speak klingon, to how do I get on the board...to this email is innapropriate for govt use....

It was great!

[Guest pavesooner]

Here is another suggestion....

When a guy goes TDY, get into his office.....place several hundred paper cups on his floor....staple them all together....Get a pitcher of water and go fill up all the cups....

[M2]

The pea soup/beef stew trick is straight out of The Great Santini (which is an excellent book for you young guys or anyone who has only seen the movie with Robert Duvall).

As for prop wash, that is older than I am! Same goes with sending someone out to find a yard of flightline or giving them a 10-amp fuse and telling them to take it to the machine shop to have it cut into two 5-amp fuses. Apparently urban legend has it one lieutenant tagged with that one disappeared for several hours and returned with two 5-amp fuses!

Cheers! M²

[Guest masekrs]

Referring to the flightline one... A SMSgt in my combined ops flight for ASBC told us that an LT actually came back in a flatbed stacked with 100 ft/yds (can't remember) of the stuff they use to make temporary runways. They got a good laugh out of it and told him to return it to wherever he had found it immediatly. He may have been yankin our chains, but it's a funny story none the less.

-Steve

[Guest FlyingAgain]

This one time, my buddies and I were in the bar hitting on some ladies. After a bunch of drinks, my goofy friend got up enough nerve to sing to one of them (a la Top Gun). After that happened, things got pretty interesting. We lost my friend for the rest of the night. Turns out, he went home with her, and they made sweet love over and over again. Things got really akward when he has a sim the following Monday. Turns out, she was a 40+ yr old LSI instructor! Needless to say, not much was said for that 1.3, but he did get an E.

Just kidding, but it made more sense than Steve's story. Hey, are they teaching grammar out there at ASBC??

[Guest cmdrstask]

Originally posted by FlyingAgain:

Things got really akward when he has a sim the following Monday. Turns out, she was a 40+ yr old LSI instructor! Needless to say, not much was said for that 1.3, but he did get an E.

At least she was a civilian instructor so he DID NOT have to salute her.

When my shop chief turned 40, we covered his desk and ceiling with old comm cables that had been sitting around for a couple weeks. The highlight was floating some of them above his desk by tying them to the black helium balloons. Nothing spectacular, but it did take him close to an hour to clean it all up.

[Cooter]

Well we just had a good one here...again. We just got back from the Brit "establishment" and one of our backenders wanted revenge for a head shaving incident. So we headed out with 100 MPH tape and some clipperss to do our worst. The guy was completely comatose and didn't really know what was going on the whole time as he was taped, shaved (eyebrows) and wrote on (classic). Well this lead to us raiding other rooms and shving other parts of other people. Wow waht great times. 1 Day and a wake up...

Cooter

[FourFans]

After 6.9 minutes of searching, I couldn't find a decent place to put this in the Squadron Bar.

Post pictures of some of the great pranks you've pulled.

I'll start: This is what happens when the squadron commander goes TDY and leaves his car at work.

Yes, a bunch of loadmasters got training on this. And yes, it was JAI'ed.

Not sure how well it would have survived a drop though...

Maybe we can get a link to the "Nasty Prank" Thread, but that one is still on the general discussion side.

Cheers,

FourFans

[Guest LtLoad]

My crew and I went to the AATTC (Advanced Airlift Tactics Training Center) in St. Joseph. We took a slew of intel types with us who didn't get out all that much, so it was mandatory that we get them good.

Our crew chiefs disconnected one wire from their left brake light and attached it to the horn. Every time they stepped on the brakes then the horn went off. You could hear them coming a mile away. The young LT at the wheel was taking turns at 30 miles per hour so she wouldn't have to use the brake.

By the way, that place is a good time, with nice grilling facilites and a huge fridge to store beer. (not to mention awesome flying) Definetely volunteer for that one.

Edited April 10, 2007 by LtLoad

[Guest Hydro130]

Haha... I recognize that car!

No pics, but one of the funnier Herk pranks that comes to mind involved a crew that went out to Yuma to support some HALO training there. The only front-end stud was a brand-new Nav on his first off-station & HALO qual. When they arrived, the AC and IN talked the Base Ops dude into asking if he would ask the new Nav to collect "air samples" on the next day's sortie. The Base Ops guy rocked the part - he had several clear bags of assorted sizes (some full trash-bag sized) ready-to-go with labels on them, and requested that the new Nav get samples from numerous, specific altitudes. He had a very convincing spiel about what they needed to samples for and specific instructions about how to collect them. The rest of the crew supported to the hilt (glad I wasn't there - I would have never been able to keep a straight face!). The new Nav was so proud that he'd been chosen to handle this great responsibility and took it very seriously, coordinating with his instructor about when he'd be able to go back to the cargo compartment to collect the samples (yes, the had to be collected in the back, and had to be collected during the climb [when all the jumpers were there to watch]).

It was genuis - he went back and dutifully collected samples by grandiosely jumping up & down and aggressively sweeping the various bags through the air to collect "the maximum volume" in each bag. He then completed each bags' labels with A/C callsign, date/time, location, altitude, and his own name/rank/qual & signature. I would have paid cash money to see the look on the jumpers' faces as the Nav explained what he was doing. The LMs told the jumpers about the joke ahead of time so they wouldn't give it away.

At the end of the sortie, the Nav proudly marched all of these inflated bags back into Base Ops and delivered them to the dude there, who was very gracious and lauded the beaming young Nav for his excellent work. I don't know at what point the rest of the crew finally told him about the joke, but it apparently could have gone on as long as they wanted.

One of the smaller labeled sample bags made it back to the squadron and was on display at the Duty Desk for quite a long time. Good humor.

Cheers, Hydro

Edited April 10, 2007 by Hydro130