Practical Jokes / Pranks

[ClearedHot]

You could try the ole blow on the pitot tube to ops check it...

Dear god ROTC/Academy/OTS is so gay.

You want a good prank? Get commissioned, got to UPT/RTU/TDY/COMBAT, drink/party like rock stars, take care of your buds...hilarity will ensue.

[daynightindicator]

we got a buddy of mine pretty good this weekend - he's our sq's brand new patch, and a bunch of us had a big party Saturday night. we waited till we knew he'd be pretty drunk, and had our wing weapons officer call him and tell him he had to be at a feascap in a half hour for the Libya deal. he also told him to tell a few of us more senior types/patches/msn cc's who were at the party that we were in crew rest immediately UFN. he starts flipping out, we're all pretending not to believe him and keep doing shots, drinking, etc. he was frantically trying to call a cab for a ride to base when we told him it was a joke.

of course, joke was really on all of us that we're on the sidelines for this one.

[B52gator]

So there I was...

A certain ACC General was in town for a base visit and got his very first ride in The Mighty BUFF. I happened to be on said flight and I pre-coordinated with the AC to pull the Voice Activated Throttle System (VATS for short) prank on the old General. Once we got up to altitude, our AC proudly showed the ins and outs of the BUFF and asked the good General if he would like to see how the VATS worked. The General had no idea what VATS was, so naturally he wanted to find out more about it. The AC explained how the system worked and with that, the General gave a bewildered "sure." For those of you who don't know, the throttle cables run right above the Radar Nav and Nav's head, easily accessible. 1-4 on the RN side, 5-8 on the N side. The AC gave a firm "throttle up, engine 1, 5%" I reached up and gave the cable a slight pull. The General then stated "I never knew something like that existed in the B-52." The AC then said "throttle up, engine 8, 5%." The Nav did the same thing, again the General was befuddled. We did this going back and forth with the throttles for about 15 min.....then it was time for some sweet e-bombing at The Fourche. I think at some point he fell asleep in the IP seat as well. We didn't tell the General what was going on, but we had a great laugh about it in debrief. This is also a good one to pull on young COs.

[GKinnear]

Here’s a good 3-Phase Dollar-Ride prank:

Our dollar rider had been previously briefed by his bro’s and showed for the mission with his bags locked up (to prevent the inevitable addition of chains). So the rest of the crew decided to lull the young Lt into a false sense of security and he was left relatively alone, aside from the usual belittling of not using his man-voice when making radio calls. On the second to last leg of the mission, on the way out of the AOR into Ramstein, is when the crew struck.

PH 1: Put young Lt in the seat while MP and IP go downstairs to lay the groundwork. The Lt had grown comfortable and left his bags unlocked so out went all of his clothes and extra flightsuits and in went all the pax pillows and blankets. He was left a camouflaged layer of 1 pair of PT shorts, his shave kit and a book. PH1 complete.

PH 2: At Ramstein, after blocking-in and trying to get everything turned in as quickly as possible (there was drinking to be done), the unsuspecting target was told to go turn in the Secrets at AMCC while the MP and IP went to check in a Billeting.

MP: “Lt. XX is a deep sleeper, so could I get an extra key for him?”

Reception Clerk: “Here you go.”

PH 2 complete.

PH 3: Arriving at our building, the mark was told to be downstairs in 15 min for drinks. 30 seconds after getting into his room we hear the door slam open and his foot stomps in the hall. We all poke our head out to him ranting about his abundance of blankets. We all have a good laugh and tell him flight suits aren’t allowed at dinner. He had a good laugh and played along, wearing his PT shorts and flight boots.

I was “late” to the rally point and conveniently left my watch in my room. The crew waited while I went upstairs. There I grabbed my extra flight suit, I’m 69” on a good day, and went to his room. I switched out the patches and threw back where he had it piled up. I then proceeded to strip his bed and only left him the thin, scratchy, comforter that is standard on all hotel beds. It was remade so that it wouldn’t be immediately noticeable. After a night of drinking, getting back to the room, he wanted to sleep, ignored the flight suit, pulled back his covers, and realized he had no sheets. Assuming that was the last of it, he went to bed. In the morning after alert trying to get dressed, he looked at his flight suit and wondered where the rest of it was. He comes stomping out and we all had another good laugh at his expense. We had a better laugh after telling him he couldn’t change until we landed back at home. His balls were numb by the time we landed 12 hrs later, but he suffered through his dollar ride initiation with honor.

Edited March 24, 2011 by GKinnear

[JarheadBoom]

words...

The pic of him wearing the high-water bag in the shopette is fucking classic.

edit: fix quote fail

Edited March 25, 2011 by JarheadBoom

[BQZip01]

So there I was...

A certain ACC General was in town for a base visit and got his very first ride in The Mighty BUFF. I happened to be on said flight and I pre-coordinated with the AC to pull the Voice Activated Throttle System (VATS for short) prank on the old General. Once we got up to altitude, our AC proudly showed the ins and outs of the BUFF and asked the good General if he would like to see how the VATS worked. The General had no idea what VATS was, so naturally he wanted to find out more about it. The AC explained how the system worked and with that, the General gave a bewildered "sure." For those of you who don't know, the throttle cables run right above the Radar Nav and Nav's head, easily accessible. 1-4 on the RN side, 5-8 on the N side. The AC gave a firm "throttle up, engine 1, 5%" I reached up and gave the cable a slight pull. The General then stated "I never knew something like that existed in the B-52." The AC then said "throttle up, engine 8, 5%." The Nav did the same thing, again the General was befuddled. We did this going back and forth with the throttles for about 15 min.....then it was time for some sweet e-bombing at The Fourche. I think at some point he fell asleep in the IP seat as well. We didn't tell the General what was going on, but we had a great laugh about it in debrief. This is also a good one to pull on young COs.

Well played!

[Guest]

Here’s a good 3-Phase Dollar-Ride prank:

I'm declaring no SA on this. I can't tell if this prank is funny or so I need to ask a couple questions.

What does dollar ride mean? First overseas flight, first flight in the jet, first MQT ride, first TDY?

Is this a common initiation practice in the herbivore community that guys should know to protect themselves against? If so, is it focused on enlisted crewmembers or on everyone? Is there an APA, like the LPA in a fighter squadron, that works feebly to defend their lack of honor and SA?

[GKinnear]

Questions

For the unwashed masses:

A dollar-rider is someone who is on their first operational mission and it's meant to expose the young aviator to ocean crossing procedures and flying in the ICAO system.

Generally all dollar riders are exposed to such initiation rites but it doesn't cross the O/E boundary. The LPA exercises some cover for the young LT's by passing on what was done to them as a warning. IMO it's now an institutionalized part of welcoming in new guys. Mine was to have my boots doused in water and thrown back on the ramp so they would freeze.

Hope the explanation helps.

[ClearedHot]

Best and worst I've seen/heard in person.

Two ship ocean crossing after a few months in the desert. New navigator on other airplane is REALLY homesick and missing his frau. His crew tells him about the MARS radio system and he listens as the AC makes a call and gets a phone patch to home. Cherry Navigator is very excited and wants to do the same. Unbeknownst to Cherry Navigator both airplanes change HF freqs to a non-MARS freq, Cherry Navs begins calling at which point nav in my airplane posing as a MARS operator responds and sets up a "phone patch to frau". A very gruff and deep voice answers the "phone patch" and explains the fraa is not available, she is in the shower. As the conversation goes on the voice on the other ends explains said Frau wants nothing to do with Navigator husband anymore...Said navigator was near tears as were we from laughing all the way to Westover.

[Vertigo]

Best and worst I've seen/heard in person.

Two ship ocean crossing after a few months in the desert. New navigator on other airplane is REALLY homesick and missing his frau. His crew tells him about the MARS radio system and he listens as the AC makes a call and gets a phone patch to home. Cherry Navigator is very excited and wants to do the same. Unbeknownst to Cherry Navigator both airplanes change HF freqs to a non-MARS freq, Cherry Navs begins calling at which point nav in my airplane posing as a MARS operator responds and sets up a "phone patch to frau". A very gruff and deep voice answers the "phone patch" and explains the fraa is not available, she is in the shower. As the conversation goes on the voice on the other ends explains said Frau wants nothing to do with Navigator husband anymore...Said navigator was near tears as were we from laughing all the way to Westover.

That's fucked up.

Sounds like something I'd pull.

[GKinnear]

I'm not so sure this is funny. Were you wearing the boots? What does "freeze" mean? Were you expecting it?

Please explain in great detail.

I was in the bunk. My boots were off. "Freeze" means the water had dropped below 0 C and was no longer in its liquid form.

Anything else?

[JarheadBoom]

Is there an APA, like the LPA in a fighter squadron, that works feebly to defend their lack of honor and SA?

Not really. For the most part, the prevailing attitude I see is "It happened to me, so it's gonna happen to you, too."

[Guest Sandlapper]

I'm declaring no SA on this. I can't tell if this prank is funny or so I need to ask a couple questions.

What does dollar ride mean? First overseas flight, first flight in the jet, first MQT ride, first TDY?

Is this a common initiation practice in the herbivore community that guys should know to protect themselves against? If so, is it focused on enlisted crewmembers or on everyone? Is there an APA, like the LPA in a fighter squadron, that works feebly to defend their lack of honor and SA?

THEY ARE F*CKING WITH THE NEW GUY. Is it really that hard to understand?

[herkbum]

Best and worst I've seen/heard in person.

Two ship ocean crossing after a few months in the desert. New navigator on other airplane is REALLY homesick and missing his frau. His crew tells him about the MARS radio system and he listens as the AC makes a call and gets a phone patch to home. Cherry Navigator is very excited and wants to do the same. Unbeknownst to Cherry Navigator both airplanes change HF freqs to a non-MARS freq, Cherry Navs begins calling at which point nav in my airplane posing as a MARS operator responds and sets up a "phone patch to frau". A very gruff and deep voice answers the "phone patch" and explains the fraa is not available, she is in the shower. As the conversation goes on the voice on the other ends explains said Frau wants nothing to do with Navigator husband anymore...Said navigator was near tears as were we from laughing all the way to Westover.

My unit did the same thing to one of our guys while in the desert in '03. Nearly same results and the guys still laugh their asses off when it gets brought up again.

[Guest Crew Report]

If so, is it focused on enlisted crewmembers or on everyone?

O's have much more SA (or should) then to with Sweaties.

Not like A-10 dudes don't with each other. Dragging two A-10's one time to depot.

Lead (on Boom Interphone) - "Hey man, can you guys with my wingman? He's dating some copilot in your squadron and would be funny if you could say something about her when he's on the boom."

Me - "Sure."

So when the wingman is on the boom (sts) I turn the Boom Interphone system to "Common", which allows the receiver to hear me talking to the tanker pilots.

Me to tanker pilots - "Hey, you guys seen that new blonde Copilot that works in scheduling?"

Tanker Copilot - "Oh yeah, the chick that already had a train ran on her at a party and blew her boss to get out of scheduling?"

Me - "Yeah, her, I think she mentioned something about dating some dude in her UPT class, but you'd think she'd be single with all the partying she does."

He didn't say anything the whole time during the rest of the coronet. We land at depot and his flight lead comes up to us laughing saying, "I don't know what you said, but he's been trying to call his girlfriend since we've landed. He's freaking out about something."

Another recent prank that happened at work. Dude in my squadron for whatever reason decided to throw baby powder all over my new black '11 Mustang GT for whatever reason. I went out, took a picture of his car with my phone and went home (and washed off baby powder). I then went on craigslist on two different major cities around the base I'm stationed with and made one ad in the For Sale section for his car at a crazy low price and made up some reason that he was in the military and going through a divorce and needed to get rid of it. I then went and made a For Free ad for a washer and dryer. On both ads I put his cell phone number as a contact number.

He ended up getting 40 voice mail, 200 calls, and 150 text messages in a span of two days.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Crew Report

[SurelySerious]

THEY ARE F*CKING WITH THE NEW GUY. Is it really that hard to understand?

What does "freeze" mean?

"Freeze" means the water had dropped below 0 C and was no longer in its liquid form.

Freezing was just explained, so all bets are off.

[StoleIt]

Another recent prank that happened at work. Dude in my squadron for whatever reason decided to throw baby powder all over my new black '11 Mustang GT for whatever reason. I went out, took a picture of his car with my phone and went home (and washed off baby powder). I then went on craigslist on two different major cities around the base I'm stationed with and made one ad in the For Sale section for his car at a crazy low price and made up some reason that he was in the military and going through a divorce and needed to get rid of it. I then went and made a For Free ad for a washer and dryer. On both ads I put his cell phone number as a contact number.

He ended up getting 40 voice mail, 200 calls, and 150 text messages in a span of two days.

Hahah. Craigslist is golden for that.

If you really want to hose a bro sign him up for NAMBLA.

[Chuck17]

Lets not let ALL the good ones go public! (But thanks for the ideas)

Chuck

[outbreak]

O's have much more SA (or should) then to ###### with Sweaties.

We do, generally.

My FE threw the first punch.

I was working tactics first half of a rote, and joined the crew at halftime. The Eng started giving me shit immediately. I wasn't a total newb, either. It was the end of my second rote.

I started by tying his shoulder harness to the inertial reel with 550 cord in such a way that I could release it in a second if I needed to, but it locked up when it was just an inconvenience for him. After three missions, he figured it out.

A week or so later, he dumped koolaid mix in my boots. I wore them for a couple hours in October heat in CENTCOM, ended up throwing out a pair of insoles and a pair of socks. My feet were red for 2 weeks.

I took a walk down to the vault one night and acquired a giant bag of shredded paper. I carefully filled the Engineer's pubs case- every nook and cranny between books, in his headset, gloves, pen caps, etc- with very very fine shred.

He found it a couple days later, and called a truce.

I am the only Officer that I know of that didn't get avenged by the E-corps for a prank on an E. Other guys have had their break bags left with ATOC at ORBI, and gotten "Load for a Day" duty as revenge for pranks on E's.

[Guest Crew Report]

Hahah. Craigslist is golden for that.

If you really want to hose a bro sign him up for NAMBLA.

Some E's I know did that to a former Sq/CC that hated E's with his govt email addy when he went to AWC.

[Guest]

THEY ARE F*CKING WITH THE NEW GUY. Is it really that hard to understand?

Dude, decaf.

[Vertigo]

I was posted at RAAF Richmond for a few years, small little detachment. Our det CC was an O5 that had a propensity of never being on the job, but you could find him at the Australian O club 24/7. Said O5 had a cherry 1967 mustang convertible that he just had refurbished and shipped over... it was his baby. If you've ever been to Australia you'll know the Australians are major gearheads and they love classic Americans cars, epecially ones you can't get down under- like Mustangs.

One day the det superintendent had enough of covering for the det CC as he was getting an earful from the det CC's boss in Hickam whenever he tried to contact him. Wanting to get a little payback he proceeded to park the Mustang on the roundabout intersecting the two major roads in the middle of the base with a for sale sign on it and the O5's mobile number. O5's mobile phone started blowing up with calls almost immediately.

I guess the O5 wasn't a good sport because what transpired next wasn't good. All I remember is him coming into the office, some heated words by the Lt Col, some chuckling by the MSgt and then a beer bottle being whizzed across the office aimed at the MSgt (drinking in the office was the norm).

It took a good 6 months before we could bring up that subject and finally get the LTC to crack a smile about the incident.

Edited March 26, 2011 by Vertigo

[GovernmentMan]

Hahah. Craigslist is golden for that.

If you really want to hose a bro sign him up for NAMBLA.

What's the big deal? I hear BQZip's dad is a member of that particular eccentric organization.

[BQZip01]

What's the big deal? I hear BQZip's dad is a member of that particular eccentric organization.

Actually, he DOES kinda look like Marlon Brando...

Marlon Brando

[mach2m3]

From this morning at Davis Monthan....

Since the closure of the runway, the base was "re-named" to reflect current operations....