Long Distance relationships

[Guest Christa]

My boyfriend has just started on the flightline for the T-1. He'd been previously training with the Navy so we are expierencing the AF way of training for the first time. I am geographically seperated from him to begin with. Is it normal for phone calls to decrease greatly now that he's hit the flightline in AF training? My pilot friends tell me this is normal...help! What are realistic expectations I should have of him?? :(

[Guest Vistar1]

Let me assure you that things get really busy when T1's start. My husband just got to T-1's a little over 6 weeks ago and they are still doing 12-hour days and flying everyday for 3 hour sorties. He goes in at 5am every morning and gets home at 5pm every night, usually exhausted and not in the mood to do a whole lot of talking. So we eat dinner, he studies for the next 3 hours and at 9pm, he goes to bed. I don't know what base your boyfriend is at, but if he's at Laughlin, I am betting that's how his schedule has been.

Don't take it personally. Like I said, my husband gets home tired and grouchy, so I don't push him to do anything more than what it takes for him to get through the week sanely. Now, if it gets to the weekend and your boyfriend still isn't calling, then you two should have a talk. Once they leave work on Friday, they forget about work until mid-afternoon on Sunday when they start to hit the books again.

Just give him some room to begin with and he'll find a "groove" to get into. People like to think that just the T-38 side of the house has it rough, but the T-1 guys pay their dues too!

Hang in there...in 6 months, everything will be back to normal!

Good luck!

V.

[Guest nurselorber]

Christa,

I hate to have to be the bearer of bad news, but it will get even worse when your boyfriend gets into the Nav phase. My hubby is two weeks from completion of Nav (THANKFULLY!!) and I sometimes go days without seeing him...and we live together! This phase is very planning intensive and stressful. The sorties are very long and cross-countries are frequent. They say it gets better in the Mission Fam phase.

Hang in there!

Nurselorber

[Beaver]

What's our phone call point of reference? Every 5 minutes? Every day? How long have you been together? Do you still have a lot to talk about?

[Guest Christa]

Thank you everyone for the help! We used to talk 20-30 min a night now its down to like 3-5 min a night, but I know its all the time he has, he calls between rushing home from his 12 hour day and to his classmates to flight plan. I guess he only has one class in his flight?? so they are catching up to the class ahead of them. I'm just thankful for the few minutes I get. Some nights its hard to tell yourself its all pilot training and not you...know what I mean. thanks again for all the help. keep it coming if you can. The support is great!!

[Guest edwarkl]

Hey Christa:

My boyfriend just started t1's at Columbus. The pace towards the end of T73s allowed us a lot of extra time to talk, and for him to drive to see me. Now that he is starting the next phase time has become slightly more precious. Although, it is nothing compaired to how things were when he first started. He has become much better at managing his time, and knowing how much he needs to be studying a night. It sounds like your BF is already through the accademic phase and is flying. Just remember it is only 6 months total. The way I look at it is:

a)the first 6 weeks, they have a lot to study and learn quickly, but the days are shorter.

b)The last 6 weeks they know what they are doing (mostly) and they are starting to finish up.

So, that just leaves us with 3 months when we really have to understand, and make sure they are worrying about their studies instead of us. So, far this year has been a lot of work, and a lot of fun for both of us. I think I will miss the whole pilot training atmosphere when this is all over (can't say my BF will feel the same.)

[Guest edwarkl]

One more thing. I don't know how things work between you two, but I try to just let my boyfriend call me. That way I don't interupt him from what he needs to complete. This is very important to him, because me calling would distract him from what he needs to be getting done.

So, I guess what I'm getting at is: Don't sweat it. It has nothing to do with you, it really is that he just doesn't have time. Have faith in your relationship, and your man. AND support him the best you can by giving him space and time.

[Guest Christa]

Can anyone give me some insight on the Nav phase of the T-1s? How long does it last? I know that its supposedly a pretty rough phase...any info would be great! Thanks so much

[Guest Vistar1]

My husband just started that phase. The good thing is that he is off of formal release now which means they only go in to fly and then they are free to come home...no more 12 hour days or showing up at 4:30am for formal briefs, etc.

However, this nav checkride coming up is the hardest one in the entire training (so we've heard) and even the smallest thing can fail you. So, as far as the studying needed and flights prior to this checkride, everything has to be flawless. There's a lot of stress right now. Once that checkride is done, it's all downhill from there with just a few weeks left until drop then graduation night.

So hang in there while he's going through that nav phase, it's a very important one!

V.

[Scooter14]

Being off formal release in Nav phase is almost transparent. Sure, you don't have to show up if you are not flying, but I know I flew 4 times a week, it was usually at least a 10 hour day anyway, with the lunch and back, debriefs, etc. and on the "off" day I was usually at baseops building my VFR leg chart and preparing a low-level chart for my checkride, as well as running Form 70's and trying to pick out which field I was going to do my approach work. I did try to do as much as I could before "crew rest" time so I could come home and relax for a couple hours, play catch with my son, have a beer, talk with the wife and then hit the books a bit before bedtime.

For me, Nav phase was about 2 months long, give or take. Like Vistar1 said, it's as good as done once the Nav check is behind you and you guys can coast into graduation, chillin like villains. Good luck!

[knoyes140]

My husband and I met in the military, so the lifestyle is not new to us. He is leaving for UPT in January and I will be leaving for 4 months of flight nursing training this summer. I am stressed and worried about what the next couple years will hold for us. I am choosing not to live with him and stay in Fort Worth, I cannot leave my civillian job. Any suggestions on how to keep a stable relationship when both spouses are engaging in training, deployments, and life? How do I make this two years fly by?

p.s. activities in Del Rio?

[Guest]

Open marriage.

[knoyes140]

haha that won't work for us :) I think outside of my 4 month flight school I will be able to head down to del rio once a month.....just wishin it would come and go

[HiFlyer]

p.s. activities in Del Rio?

Activities....hmmm, mostly trying to figure out how to get out of Del Rio. Some fishing/boating on the lake. For students, he'll be too busy to be doing much for the first 8 months! Friday nights and Saturdays are usually the wind-down periods, then back to the books on Sunday.

[Vno]

Scantly clad photos. Post here first for approval, of course.

Edited November 27, 2012 by Vno

[Guest]

haha that won't work for us :) I think outside of my 4 month flight school I will be able to head down to del rio once a month.....just wishin it would come and go

Don't rule it out so quickly, you never know until you try.

...and cranium...and STS.

[Bobby]

You never know, you may get to stay longer than just UPT...

[Guest]

LOL

[Cap-10]

Being off formal release in Nav phase is almost transparent. Sure, you don't have to show up if you are not flying, but I know I flew 4 times a week, it was usually at least a 10 hour day anyway, with the lunch and back, debriefs, etc. and on the "off" day I was usually at baseops building my VFR leg chart and preparing a low-level chart for my checkride, as well as running Form 70's and trying to pick out which field I was going to do my approach work. I did try to do as much as I could before "crew rest" time so I could come home and relax for a couple hours, play catch with my son, have a beer, talk with the wife and then hit the books a bit before bedtime.

For me, Nav phase was about 2 months long, give or take. Like Vistar1 said, it's as good as done once the Nav check is behind you and you guys can coast into graduation, chillin like villains. Good luck!

My husband and I met in the military, so the lifestyle is not new to us. He is leaving for UPT in January and I will be leaving for 4 months of flight nursing training this summer. I am stressed and worried about what the next couple years will hold for us. I am choosing not to live with him and stay in Fort Worth, I cannot leave my civillian job. Any suggestions on how to keep a stable relationship when both spouses are engaging in training, deployments, and life? How do I make this two years fly by?

p.s. activities in Del Rio?

7.69 year thread revival...record?

Cheers,

Cap-10

Edited December 2, 2012 by Cap-10

[Danger41]

At least she UTFSF

[Cell Dweller]

My husband and I met in the military, so the lifestyle is not new to us. He is leaving for UPT in January and I will be leaving for 4 months of flight nursing training this summer. I am stressed and worried about what the next couple years will hold for us. I am choosing not to live with him and stay in Fort Worth, I cannot leave my civillian job. Any suggestions on how to keep a stable relationship when both spouses are engaging in training, deployments, and life? How do I make this two years fly by?

p.s. activities in Del Rio?

Be mature and manage your own expectations when you know you won't see him for an extended period. There is a ton of technology that was not here five or ten years ago, so there is no shortage of ways to stay in touch. He will be in intense training for a good while, so understand that he may not always be able to make himself available.

Too repeat myself, be mature. You will both be training to do work that you both love. If you both care for each other and want to be together, then both of you need to understand that you are working towards a better future.

[Toro]

9 hours ago, FloridaBeauty5231994 said:

My BF is going to Laughlin for UPT ...been together  3.5 years ..and the drive is 8 hours between us. We are both officers...how do you manage time to go visit someone in UPT? During the holidays? Any suggestions ? I love this this guy ...I know it'll be challenging but well worth it.

Three day weekends and holidays are probably your best bet, and plan on you doing most of the travelling.  Meeting up in San Antonio isn't too bad of a drive for him, and San Antonio has an airport if you can fly.  If you really want to stick together after UPT, start looking at AFSCs that will let you transfer to wherever he's stationed because an 8 hour drive is probably optimistic in the future.

[FUSEPLUG]

When I saw Toro had replied to the "Long Distance Relationship" thread I was giddy with anticipation. His inability to mince words and utter lack of sensitivity towards the uninitiated had my mind reeling at the potential of his post.

Needless to say I'm sorely disappointed.  That was actually some pretty good advice. 

[Toro]

Needless to say I'm sorely disappointed.

SNAPs get what's coming to them. This would have been collateral damage.

[Duck]

I'm more interested in the screen name. Floridabeauty... just how beautiful are we talking about here?

Yeah Toro's advice is spot on. I'll add that your BF is about to be put in a pretty stressful situation. Support from you will go a long way and set the tone for the future of your relationship. I have seen way too many long distance girlfriends absolutely wreck a UPT students progress to the point where a #2/20 ends up finishing #18/20. Not saying a clingy/needy girlfriend was the only cause, but it didn't help.

A simple text message throughout the week telling him you are rooting for him and you are there for him at his convenience will go a long way. It's only temporary for the next 2ish years, but eventually one of you will probably have to take a backseat to the other to make the distance go away.

I've seen a couple mil-mil both be successful through the long run, but they both had to compromise at times to do something that neither wanted to do to keep them together. (ie giving up WIC to pursue RAS/PAS jointly, tours outside their MWS, being an Exec, etc...)

Hope this helps.


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