Adoption in the military

[Guest Evan Brooke]

I am wondering if there is an easier and perhaps less expensive way to adopt international (or domestic) children as a military couple. My husband is a Reservist and so I don't forsee us moving overseas, but I have a growing heart for baby girls in China and orphans in Africa.

Is there anyone out there with personal experience? Or can you refer me to someone?

[Guest stusakss]

We are just finishing up the adoption of our awesome little daughter right now. (She is Japanese, and we still live in Japan) We could have finished a while ago, but we left the immigration visa stuff till we were getting ready to PCS...

Anyway, I have not found any agencies that cater to the military...now there are groups out there that are military based that help with the administrivia and helpful hints of good vs bad agencies. (think, Baseops for adoption )

We have friends that are in CHina right now meeitng their new daughter...however to answer your question...I am not sure of any agencies that charge a lower fee for military.

You can check with Catholic Social Services in your local area for deomestic adoptions, they are a great agency, as there is no desire for profit, just a desire to get good families together with good kids.

You can IM me if you have any specific questions, but like I said, I can't be of too much help for the military specific stuff. Sorry!

Good luck to you though, it is a wonderful experience and one that we are hoping to do again when we get back to the states!

[The Kayla]

Congrats on your new lil' girl!

I've noticed that prices vary depending on the age of the child and where you get the child from(Russia, Japan, etc).

for example, I was lookin' at adoption prices for a Russian child, and it ranged from $20k-$25k plus.

As where, there was a country next to russia, It started with a "K", and adoption prices started at $10k, and it went up from there.

[Guest pcampbell]

I'm not sure what all the hoopla is about international adoptions. My wife and I are in the process of adopting an American child. The cost will settle between $12K and $15K.

We chose to adopt domestically for numerous reasons, but one of them was cost.

Why are people opting to go overseas (besides already living there)?

[The Kayla]

Originally posted by Razorback:

I'm not sure what all the hoopla is about international adoptions. My wife and I are in the process of adopting an American child. The cost will settle between $12K and $15K.

We chose to adopt domestically for numerous reasons, but one of them was cost.

Why are people opting to go overseas (besides already living there)?

Maybe I can answer that:

domestic adoptions can be orverturned. Either the birth father wasn't consented about the adoption in the first place, he didnt know about the kid.. etc. Or the mom changed her mind.. No adoption is set in stone and can "never" be overturned.

I asked the same question you just did, two years ago. and I had a nice lady answer me(this was on my GSD site). She had adopted two kids in the USA. She had both kids for a few yrs. both adoptions got overturned because a birth parent wanted to come back into the picture, and the judge OKed it.

She Adopted two kids internationaly.. She still has them. This is going on year number 7 for them, I think.

Adopting alone is a very rewarding thing.. you are giving a child a second chance at a life that they might not of had a chance to have.

I'm all for adoption/adopting. But I wouldn't do a domestic adoption, for the fear of having my heart broken in X-years because the adoption got overturned. YOu have to go into adoption with you eyes wide open..

I have a dear friend who was adopted, she knows how I feel.. and she doesn't care.. She's ALL for any type of adoption.

Another thing: in the USA, orphanes are taken care of, so to speak.. they are "unwanted" by their birth family)not being PC here, so no lashing), but they are still none the less, "wanted".

in other countries.. unwanted children are just that, unwanted. The only chance they have at a GOOD childhood is by being adopted.

That's just my opinion, Like I stated before, adoption is GOLDEN no matter if you adopt here in the USA, or overseas. You are still giving a CHILD.. no matter what race/sex/religion etc. a SECOND chance at a good life..

[Herk Driver]

The military also reimburses some adoption costs. I'm no expert here, but a friend of mine adopted and I found out later that some of his expenses were reimbursed through the military. There is some paperwork involved. Not sure who the OPR on base is, but I'm sure someone here will have the details.

[Guest stusakss]

Finance is the OPR on the adoption reimbursements. (it is up to 5K) You also get a 10K tax credit the year the adoption is finalized, just keep all those recipts, as you have to show what you had to pay for!

Finance will give you the "deer in the headlights" blank stare when bring this up to them, unless they happened to have dealt with an adoption recently. Chances are, you better have the regs with you when you walk into the door.

Yahoo has a very helpful Military Adoption news group, go join that, and most of your questions can/will be answered..

[Guest pcampbell]

quote:

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Originally posted by lcgsdmama:

She had adopted two kids in the USA. She had both kids for a few yrs. both adoptions got overturned because a birth parent wanted to come back into the picture, and the judge OKed it.

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I don't see how that could have happened. The birthparents give up all legal rights to the child upon the closing of the adoption. No judge can be allowed to overturn that. I won't accept conjecture or hearsay.

The only way this could have happened is if the agency that facilitated the adoption did not make every reasonable effort to contact both birth parents. Even then, there is a statute of limitations, most states that statute is less than two weeks.

This myth has to end. There are plenty of American children that need parents. Their lives are no better as orphans here than an orphan in any other country. An orphan is an orphan. Additionally, many countries are making it more and more difficult for Americans to adopt their children (Russia, Korea, Vietnam) or completing shutting their doors to Americans adopting.

The solution to all your fears is open adoption. Google the Independent Adoption Center, or just open adoption for more info.

[ 27. November 2006, 20:44: Message edited by: Razorback ]

[Guest stusakss]

Razorback, it all stems from the famous Florida case in the 90's. I forget the name of the little girl, but it was pretty famous back then...she was around 7, and the birth-mom fought to get her back in court, and won.

We get a couple of monthly adoption magazines, and you do hear of that type of thing happening every now and then, normally due to some kind of administrivia error...moral of the story, make sure all your ducks are in a row.

FYI...Open adoption is the source of most of my fears, not the solution. After doing a smooth "closed" adoption like we just finished up, and reading all about open ones, I could never do the open style. I have heard lots of positive and negative stories, just like almost every topic, it just is not for me. I just think it is important for each couple to really look into all options, and find out what is best for them!

[Guest homewith4]

Razorback,

I'd be really interested in how an interested family goes about finding an American orphan available for adotion. I don't dispute your claim, but losing both parents and being raised by an aunt/uncle/grandparent is different than being raised in an institution, which is where the majority of foreign adopted children live.

Foster care or foster to adopt situations in our nation so strongly favor biological relatives that adopting an American child is not as clear cut process as an overseas adoption (I did not use the word "easy").

In addition, I would contend that an American orphan living in foster care have significantly better lifestyles than foreign children living in orphanages.

edit for spelling:)

[ 01. December 2006, 15:54: Message edited by: homewith4 ]

[Guest pcampbell]

Originally posted by homewith4:

I'd be really interested in how an interested family goes about finding an American orphan available for adotion. I don't dispute your claim, but losing both parents and being raised by an aunt/uncle/grandparent is different than being raised in an institution, which is where the majority of foreign adopted children live.

Three letters...DHS.

Originally posted by homewith4:

Foster care or foster to adopt situations in our nation so strongly favor biological relatives that adopting an American child is not as clear cut process as an overseas adoption (I did not use the word "easy").

Do you have any data to support this? None of the DHS websites I have looked at mention favoring bilogical relatives for the children profiled. These websites seem pretty clear cut to me. Arkansas DHHS for example

Originally posted by homewith4:

In addition, I would contend that an American orphan living in foster care have significantly better lifestyles than foreign children living in orphanages.

The problem with your contention is your perception. All an orphan wants is a family. It doesn't matter to them if they live in Korea or America. They feel unwanted. You can't argue that either one would have a better lifestyle as an orphan when they would both agree that life pretty much sucks without mom and dad.

[Ferg]

Revival!

How does the process of getting the enrolled in DEERS and on your orders work? We're looking at adopting domestic, but we live overseas currently. I would guess the adoption has to be finalized before the kids can get into DEERS, but since the process of getting your orders amended to include the children probably takes a while, is it possible to start that process before the adoption is final?

Since we are international and planning on adopting from the states, will the AF pay for the kids to fly back to our OCONUS location once the adoption is final?

[SuperWSO]

Revival!

How does the process of getting the enrolled in DEERS and on your orders work? We're looking at adopting domestic, but we live overseas currently. I would guess the adoption has to be finalized before the kids can get into DEERS, but since the process of getting your orders amended to include the children probably takes a while, is it possible to start that process before the adoption is final?

Since we are international and planning on adopting from the states, will the AF pay for the kids to fly back to our OCONUS location once the adoption is final?

DEERs was actually easier than most of the other paperwork. Our adopted kids were no harder to add than the ones that we had at the hospital. I just went to MPF with a copy of the paperwork we got from their home country, and a copy of the US citizenship paperwork. Once they are in DEERS and listed as your dependents, it should be fairly simple to cut an amendment to your orders.